The Trouble With Cowgirls. Amanda Renee
lasted only a second before she apologetically stepped back. “I know I told you earlier that this wasn’t the place to discuss what happened, but I need you to know that I’m sorry for the way things ended. I didn’t know you waited for me in Wyoming. I thought Nicolino had told you and that’s my fault. You deserved a personal explanation from me. I also found out you wanted this job. If I had known, I never would have accepted the position. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away from it, either.”
“This morning was a complete surprise.” Lane folded his arms. “Nicolino claims you’re more qualified than me. While that remains to be seen, I’ll admit that I’m surprised at the career path you chose, considering the way you used to party when we were kids. I always knew you were smart. I just never knew you had the commitment to stay with something.” Lane cringed at his own words. “That didn’t come out exactly how I meant it. Let’s just say...you were much more free-spirited back then. Your dedication and commitment to your education is commendable, along with raising a beautiful daughter. It couldn’t have been easy.”
“Thank you. It wasn’t exactly part of my grand plan, but I can’t imagine life without Carina.” Lucy dropped her gaze, shifting from one foot to the other. “The circumstances surrounding my marriage to Antonio were far from ideal. The love we shared for our daughter kept us together, especially after we almost lost her. Carina was born three months premature. Her chances for survival were almost nonexistent. I can’t even begin to tell you what that was like. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.”
“I had no idea you even had a child until yesterday.” A part of him wasn’t sure he was ready to hear about the child she’d had with some other man; another part wanted to know everything about her life since he’d last seen her. “What happened?”
Lucy’s eyes shone with wetness. “The majority of my pregnancy was spent bedridden. When I went into labor, they didn’t think either one of us would survive. I refused to give up on her. Watching your child lie there helpless inside an incubator, connected to tubes and wires while a machine breathes for her, is beyond words. I knew every beep, every hum from the equipment in the room. Carina’s a fighter.” She met his eyes once again. “I’m sorry if the news of my marriage hurt you. It wasn’t all wine and roses, but it wasn’t terrible, either. Antonio loved Carina. He...”
Lane straightened his spine, still trying to wrap his head around what she had told him and what she had purposely left out. “He what? What happened to Antonio?”
Lucy sighed. “Antonio died of a brain aneurysm four months ago.”
Lane had wondered if Carina’s father was still involved in her life. Death had been the furthest possibility from his mind. He understood the anguish her daughter probably felt, having lost his own father as a child. “That must’ve been incredibly difficult for you both.”
“We’d been divorced for almost a year when it happened, but we had remained very close. Antonio was my best friend. But there were things I didn’t know. Like how much debt he had. We lived well—too well. After he died, I discovered some of his business affairs were not—how do I say it in English?—legitimate. All of his assets were seized and we were left with nothing. We didn’t even have my family’s support after he died. If you thought they were strict when I was growing up, that was nothing compared to what happened after Antonio and I divorced. They disowned us. Try explaining that to a kid.” Lucy’s nervous laughter reminded him of the summer they’d met, when she’d opened up about her parents’ harsh criticism. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her as he’d once done. “My divorce and his business improprieties disgraced the Travisonno family name. No one else will communicate with us except Nicolino and Ella. And that’s why we’re here. I never meant to create problems for you.”
Lucy’s declaration made him feel guilty for being angry at her at first. He didn’t want to be mad and he definitely didn’t want to hate her. He wished they could go back and do things over, but that was wishful thinking and Lane didn’t have a wishful bone in his body.
“At least I’m not the only one Nicolino kept in the dark.” Lane attempted a laugh but his heart wasn’t in it after everything Lucy had told him. “I’m willing to put the past behind us, not that it’s going to be easy. I’ll try my best, though. What do you say we start over?” Lane extended his hand as a peace offering.
Lucy nodded. Her face brightened again, sending a twinge of anticipation through his chest. The instant they touched, their fingers entwined, and not in your typical handshake. So much for starting over. The feel of her skin against his was better than in his memories. The heat from her palm seared into his. He knew she felt it, too, when she tightened her grip. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to kiss her the way he used to, but he couldn’t. Lane closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this with her—not now, not ever again.
“I’m sorry.” Releasing her, he flung open the door and strode into the safety of the corridor. “There’s always someone here, 24/7, and as barn manager, you are on call, too. Which reminds me, I need your phone number.”
“I don’t have one yet.” She spoke so quietly he barely heard her.
“We can rectify that right now. Follow me and we’ll get you set up with a company phone. Then that will be it for the day.”
Lane led the way up the stairs to the administrative offices, praying the torrent of emotions running through him wouldn’t get the best of him. He needed to remain professional and carefully plan his next move. He was torn between proving his worth to Nicolino and looking for another position. Lucy’s earlier questions and wide-eyed gaze at some of his answers reconfirmed she was unqualified for the practical aspects of the job.
Lucy clearly needed the money more than he did, but Lane was doubtful she’d be able to handle the workload. Book smarts weren’t everything. If he left and she failed, the position he’d worked so hard for would go to someone else. If he stayed around, then he’d have a chance at righting a wrong. But his attraction to Lucy was already proving too great for him to maintain a working relationship without losing his heart in the process. He wasn’t ready to walk away from either one...at least not yet.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Lucy asked.
Carina rolled her eyes. “Mamma, the other kids are already going to talk about me. Let me walk into school on my own. I’m a big girl. I’ll handle it.”
That had become Carina’s motto lately. A soon-to-be nine-year-old shouldn’t have to handle things. She should be outside playing and spending time with friends. Not starting over in a new country because her parents had failed to provide for her on their own. At least it was Friday and they’d both have the weekend to allow the past few days to sink in.
“Okay I’ll drop you off at Ella and Nicolino’s and you can walk to the bus with your cousins.” Lucy didn’t know which of them was more nervous about Carina’s first day of school. “I’m not letting you walk from here. The ranch is too big and you don’t know your way around.”
Carina shrugged and waited for her by the front door. Why was she finding it so difficult to send her child off to school? She should have been excited for all the new adventures she was about to have. Since the day Carina was born, Lucy had hated relinquishing her daughter’s care to somebody else. She knew all the facts and read all the books about change being necessary for a child’s growth and development. It didn’t make things any easier, though. Once you see your child fight to live, you never want to let them go.
“Try to have fun today and call if you need me. I put my new number in your backpack and I’ll pick you up a cell phone by the end of the day. Ti amo, mia gattina.”
“I love you, too, Mamma,” she replied, surprisingly in English.
Lucy dropped Carina off with her cousins and continued down the ranch road to work. It felt good to have a job and be able to earn her