His Amish Choice. Leigh Bale
him feel almost normal again. They were so happy to have him home that he felt good to be here. But he still couldn’t help wondering if he’d made a wrong choice by returning to Riverton. He wanted to be here. He really did. But he couldn’t seem to get Shannon off his mind. Her smile. Her scent. The way she’d begged him to save her life the night of the drunk driving accident. And then the stricken look on her parents’ faces at the cemetery when they had buried their only child.
When the white frame house came into view, Eli breathed a sigh of relief. He’d promised the girls they’d be safe on their journey to church and he was grateful that he’d been able to keep his word. Too many automobiles flew way too fast down the roads. With drivers talking on their cell phones or texting, he could understand why the Amish were nervous as they drove their horse-drawn buggies and wagons. What was so important on the phone that it was worth risking someone’s life? He’d had a cell phone when he’d lived among the Englisch, but he’d only used it when absolutely necessary. He’d found them a poor substitute for building relationships face-to-face. He was just grateful that a worse tragedy hadn’t struck the Beiler familye and Jeremiah would recover from the accident.
Turning the horse into the main yard, he pulled up where two teenage boys were directing traffic. A long row of black buggies had already been parked along the fence line. Eli waited his turn, then pulled up as instructed.
“I can unhitch your horse,” one of the boys offered.
“Danke.” Eli handed the lines over, watching as the two teenagers removed the harness in preparation of leading the mare over to a field where she could graze and water with other horses.
Eli helped the girls out of the buggy. He noticed how Lizzie avoided his hand by gripping the edge of the carriage. She didn’t meet his eyes as she smoothed her apron, then reached back into the buggy for a basket that was neatly covered with a clean dish towel. He had no idea what was hidden beneath, but surmised it was something tasty for their noon meal later on. The thought of spending the day with Lizzie made him feel warm. If he hadn’t gone to Denver, they probably would have married. They’d be taking their familye to church like any other couple. But then he wouldn’t have met and loved Shannon, and he couldn’t forget that she had meant the world to him.
“Lizzie!”
A young woman with golden hair was busy spreading a cloth over one of the long tables set up outside. Eli didn’t recognize her and wondered if she was a newcomer to the Gmay. She stood beneath the tall spread of a maple tree laden with leaves of bright yellow. The autumn air had a distinct crispness to it, but was still pleasant enough to eat outside.
As she approached, the woman arched her back, displaying an obvious rounding of her abdomen. Eli figured she must be about six months pregnant.
“Guder mariye, Abby. How are you feeling today?” Lizzie asked as the woman waddled toward them.
Ach, so this was Abby! Eli had heard all about her from his parents.
She rested a hand on her belly as Jakob Fisher joined them, taking her arm in a protective gesture. Before he’d left Riverton, Eli had known Jakob and his first wife, Susan, and their two small children, Reuben and Ruby. Jakob was older than Eli and they’d never been close friends, but Eli was sad to learn that Susan had died in childbirth while he was gone. Jakob had married Abby a year earlier and now they were expecting their first child together.
“I am well. The doctor has told me I’m perfectly healthy and should deliver just after the New Year,” Abby said.
“Ach, you may deliver early. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a Christmas baby?” Lizzie asked, her voice filled with jubilation.
Jakob smiled wide. “Ja, that would be the best Christmas gift ever.”
Abby just beamed, her face glowing with an ethereal beauty that seemed to accompany every new mother as she worked hand in hand with Gott to create a new life.
“Hallo, Eli.” Jakob nodded to him. “I would like to introduce you to my wife, Abby.”
Eli smiled and nodded at the pretty woman. “I’m so glad to meet you.”
“Likewise,” she said. “I heard you are looking out for the Beilers while Jeremiah is laid up.”
“Ja, the bishop thought it would be best,” Eli replied with a half smile.
“Because of the accident, I heard in town that they’re planning to put up more Amish buggy signs along the roads,” Jakob said.
“Ach, it’s about time,” Abby said.
“Ja, that would be gut. I just hope it gets the drivers to slow down,” Lizzie murmured.
Eli hoped so too. He hated the thought of any other members of their Gmay getting hurt.
The women stepped ahead of the men, moving off toward the kitchen. Marty and Annie joined Jakob’s two children, racing across the front lawn in carefree abandon. Church Sunday was a time to worship Gott, but it was also a time to socialize and relax from daily labors. Both adults and children alike usually looked forward to this day with happiness. But not Eli. Not when he glanced over and saw several older women watching him, their heads bent close as they chatted together. He couldn’t help wondering if he was the topic of their conversation, especially when Marva Geingerich eyed him with a look of revulsion.
“Don’t mind old Mrs. Geingerich. She doesn’t approve of anyone,” Jakob whispered.
Eli jerked, realizing that Jakob had stopped walking and was watching him closely. “Does my nervousness show that much?”
Jakob nodded, his mouth turned up in a generous smile. “I’m afraid so. When my Susan died, Marva didn’t approve of me either, simply because I was alone with two young kinder to raise. It didn’t matter that I had no control over my wife’s death or that I was grieving. Marva seems to be able to find anything and everything to disapprove of.”
When Jakob put it like that, it sounded rather silly, but Eli didn’t laugh.
“You must have been brokenhearted to lose Susan. How did you recover?” Eli asked, eager to know how to ease the gnawing pain he felt deep inside for Shannon.
“I’ll let you know if I ever do. Right now, I doubt a person can fully heal from losing someone they have loved. But you have to keep living. And the Lord blessed me with a second chance at happiness. I never thought it possible, but I’m so deeply in love with Abby and I can’t imagine living life without her.” Jakob’s gaze rested on Abby, his eyes filled with such wonder and devotion that Eli felt a lance of jealousy pierce his heart. Surely there would be no third chance for him.
Turning toward him, Jakob lifted a hand and rested it on Eli’s shoulder before squeezing gently. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to walk away from your familye when you left us, nor any easier for you to return. It took a lot of courage to come back and face your eldre. Now you have a second chance with Lizzie too.”
Eli blinked, not quite understanding. For the first time since his return, Eli wondered if everyone believed he still wanted to marry Lizzie. After all, none of them knew anything about Shannon. But Lizzie didn’t want him. Her words to him yesterday had indicated loud and clear that she didn’t love him anymore.
“Facing my eldre was easier than you might think,” Eli said. “They’re both relieved I’m back. But Lizzie is a different story. I think I’ve burned a bridge with her that can never be rebuilt.”
Jakob nodded. “No doubt she is still angry and hurt that you left, but she’s refused to look at any other man since then. She has a gut, forgiving heart. With time, I’m sure both of you will be able to let go of the past, just as I did.”
That was just it. Eli didn’t want to let go of Shannon. How could he forget what she had meant to him and the part he’d played in her death? It was his fault she had died, but he