Playing the Joker. Caroline Anderson
dried her hands, pulled on a fresh set of gloves and made her way back with Alex into the operating-room.
Their patient was on the table, draped and swabbed and ready for her attention.
Alex stood quietly opposite her, his hands ready to cauterise or irrigate or hold retractors, always steady, there before she had to ask, but never once commenting or implying that he would have done it differently.
Finally she was through all the layers of muscle and into the uterus, and as he held the retractors steady, she reached inside and brought out a tiny, squalling scrap.
There was a collective sigh of relief as the baby yelled her protest, and Alex smiled at her.
Jo looked away. ‘She looks fine,’ she said abruptly, and clamped the cord and cut it.
The midwife took the baby to a cot and laid her in, and checked her Apgar score while Jo delivered the placenta and started suturing.
‘Apgar nine,’ the midwife said after five minutes, and Jo nodded.
‘Lucky,’ Alex commented.
‘Thanks to your quick action,’ Jo said, echoing all their feelings. There was a general murmur of agreement.
At last she had tied the final suture and the woman was wheeled away to Recovery.
Alex and Jo went up to the little rest-room and relaxed while the theatre was prepared for the next case.
‘You were very generous,’ he said, ‘especially considering that I took over your patient.’
She smiled. ‘I didn’t mind,’ she assured him. ‘I was just grateful for your quick action.’
‘I only did what you would have done.’
She shrugged. ‘Maybe.’
He looked steadily at her. ‘You would have coped.’
‘I know, but I’m still glad you were there.’
He looked quickly away. ‘Tell me about your list,’ he instructed.
She filled him in, and he nodded but didn’t comment, except to ask if she minded if he watched.
‘Of course not,’ she replied, but her heart thudded, either with tension because he would be watching again or delight because he would still be near her. If she was honest, it was probably both.
The first patient on the list proper was June Turner, who by now had had her epidural set up and was waiting for them in Theatre, her gowned and masked husband waiting at her side.
‘Hello, June; hello, Mike,’ Jo said cheerfully. ‘I’m sorry to keep you waiting—we had a bit of an emergency. This is Alexander Carter, the new consultant.’
June’s relaxed smile faded a little, and her eyes flicked from Jo’s face to his and back again.
‘Oh. Does that mean you aren’t going to do the operation?’
Jo grinned. ‘No way. I’m not handing you over to anyone! Right, are you all set?’
The green screens were set up, masking their activity from June and her husband, and she was swabbed and draped ready for her operation.
‘OK, June, I’m just going to make the first incision now.’
She stroked lightly and swiftly with the scalpel, and Anne Gabriel, who was assisting, swabbed and irrigated and held retractors and smiled at June over the curtain as Jo worked.
Jo herself was busy working her way through the layers of scar tissue in the old incision line. In very little time she reached the uterus, and looked at June. ‘OK, here we are. The scar actually looks fine, so I suppose that means you don’t want to be sterilised?’
Mike grinned. ‘Nice try, Dr Harding.’
She laughed. ‘OK, I’m just going to open the uterus and then you’ll have your baby.’
June smiled, Mike held her hand even tighter and Jo carefully penetrated the first layer.
‘Suction, please,’ she said, but Anne was there already, and in no time the baby was in her hands. ‘It’s a boy,’ she said with a smile that lit up her eyes above her mask, ‘and he looks lovely!’
She handed the baby over the screen and into his mother’s waiting arms, and then clamped the cord and cut it as Mike leant over and kissed his son.
The pain crashed into her with all the force of an express train, and she took a steadying breath.
You really would think it would get easier, she mused, but it doesn’t, and for some reason today it’s even worse. In the midst of all the chaos and congratulations, she lifted her head and met Alex’s eyes, and looked away.
Her own must have reflected her misery because later, after the Turner family had left the theatre and Jo had completed her list, she found Alex by her side, his face concerned.
‘Are you OK?’ he said in an undertone.
‘Of course I’m OK. Why should I not be?’
He shrugged. ‘Search me. I just thought you looked a bit pole-axed in there for a minute with the Turners.’
She busied herself removing her soiled gown and putting it in the bin. ‘Don’t be silly. Everybody’s moved by the birth of a baby.’
He moved round in front of her and tipped her chin. ‘I didn’t say moved, I said——’
‘I heard you. You were mistaken. Excuse me.’
She pushed past him and went to shower and change. When she emerged he was gone, and she managed to avoid him for the rest of the day.
She went home exhausted at seven, and made herself an omelette. She was too tired and stressed out to eat it, though, and poked it around for a few minutes before giving up.
Anne rang her later to ask if she was all right.
‘Of course I’m all right—what’s the matter with you all?’ she snapped, and then felt immediately guilty.
Anne, however, knew her too well to take umbrage, and quietly wished her goodnight before hanging up.
It was a long week, and by the end of it Jo’s nerves were flayed to a shred.
Alex had been everywhere, popping up like a jack-in-a-box every time she turned round. However, he had taken her at her word and was leaving her alone, making no further attempt to persuade her to go out with him.
He had made a real impact with the staff, and Anne thought he was charming and could quite see why Jo had fallen so hard and so fast.
‘Why don’t you talk to him?’ she said again, and Jo had to avoid her after that.
That afternoon Jo had delivered a baby and Alex had popped in just in time to see her cradling the babe against her breast and holding the tiny hand in her own.
‘It suits you—you ought to try it some time,’ he suggested, and with a wicked wink he left her.
Anne Gabriel had been there, too, and after one look at Jo’s shocked face had taken the baby from her and finished clearing up after the delivery without asking any questions.
As soon as possible, Jo had escaped home and attacked the housework, but that just made her even more exhausted and left her mind whirling in a body that ached from end to end. Feeling even more miserable, she made a cup of tea and took it up to wallow in the bath with a book she hadn’t had time to finish.
She undressed and hung up her skirt, throwing the blouse and underwear into the laundry basket.
How could she get Alex Carter out of her mind? He was haunting her, the might-have-beens overwhelming in the light of his constant presence.
And the worst of it was she still loved him—loved him more with each minute that