Her Perfect Man. Jillian Hart
into the TV’s glare. The little girl was pure sweetness with her light brown curls, big wide eyes and pixie’s face. Tonight she wore her pink-and-purple Cinderella pajamas and a sleepy frown.
Rebecca was out of the chair in a second, scooping up the warm, sleep-snuggly toddler into her arms. “What is it, princess?”
“Thirsty.” A huge yawn, and then both little arms wrapped around Rebecca’s neck. “Where’s Mommy?”
“She’s still out with your daddy.” Rebecca started for the kitchen. “Let’s get you that water and put you right back to bed.”
“I want Daddy.”
“I know you do, princess.” She opened the cupboard door with one hand, found the pink cup with the princesses on it and turned on the tap. The water was nice and cold and she filled the cup partway. “He’ll be home before you know it.”
“Ye-ah.” Madison sighed, clearly missing her parents. Hers was a loving and secure world. Heaven knew that Danielle and her husband, Jonas, did everything they could to ensure that for their kids.
As she held the cup to her niece’s lips and tipped it so she could drink in dainty little sips, Rebecca had to wonder. Would her life have turned out differently if her biological dad had been a good man? She had been wondering this a lot lately. The breakup and the man Chris turned out to be was still troubling her.
She’d been younger than Madison was now when her real dad had walked out on the family after beating her mom so badly that she’d been in the hospital for weeks.
Poor Mom. That time was nothing but a scary, hazy blur to Rebecca. She had been too young to understand, but she could see her big sister Danielle standing between her and their rage-filled father. Nearly a lifetime later, she could still hear her mom’s broken sobs and the wounded sound she made, lying so still in the corner.
A year later, Mom had married John McKaslin, changing their lives for the better forever. John—who she thought of as her real dad—was a great blessing. Since the day she’d stepped foot in his house, she’d been as safe and secure as Madison was now. She hadn’t gained just a great dad, but also a big brother and loving older sisters who couldn’t have been more wonderful to her.
“Done?” she asked when the sleepy toddler pushed the cup away.
“I want Minnie.” She rubbed her eyes with both little fists.
“She’s probably in bed waiting for you.” Rebecca set the cup on the counter and gave her niece a smacking kiss on her plump cheek. “Want to go see?”
“O-o-o-kaay.” Madison yawned again.
What a cutie. Rebecca held her little niece snug, weaving through the dark house by memory. As she passed by her nephew’s bedroom door, she caught sight of him asleep in his bed. He and his dog were faintly graced by the glow of his night-light. He was a cutie, too. She padded down the hall.
Madison gave a tired whine at the sight of her bunny tucked neatly under the covers. Minnie’s head and ears were dark against the pale pillowcase.
“See?” Rebecca lowered the child into her bed. “I told you Minnie was waiting for you.”
Eyes drooping, head bobbing, Madison reached out to gather her favorite stuffed animal into her chubby arms, snuggled close and was half-asleep before her head touched the pillow. Rebecca smoothed the girl’s flyaway curls, and Madison sort of smiled through her sleepiness, slipping away to sweeter dreams.
Yep, Rebecca thought as her heart filled. A total cutie.
It was a pleasure to tuck the little girl’s covers around her and tiptoe to the door. The throbbing blue light from the distant TV made the hallway feel surreal, as if this was but a dream, a vision of what she’d always wanted for herself.
Those things were so far away now. Okay, it was her decision to institute a No Man policy and that was great because it kept her heart safe. But at the same time it felt as if time were slipping by. She’d been so busy racing to grow up, enjoying her college years and then hoping her relationship with Chris would lead her to a life like this.
It hadn’t, and now she felt empty in the pit of her stomach and in the chambers of her heart. Even in her soul, she felt alone.
She wasn’t alone. She knew that as surely as she knew there was a floor at her feet. Her faith was rock solid, her family an unbreakable support and yet she felt hollow, as if she were missing a great part of herself.
No, she corrected, she was missing these dreams of children and marriage, of home and a future.
She checked again on Tyler, who slept on his side facing the wall so all she could see of him was tufts of brown hair and his Dalmatian asleep on the foot of his bed. Lucky lifted his head a few inches and his tail thumped against the blankets as if to say, “No worries. I’m keeping watch.”
She wandered back to the TV, hardly noticing the hospital drama flashing across the screen. The sound was low so as not to disturb the kids, and she could barely hear the dialogue. She settled onto the couch as her mind drifted back over the day. She resisted the urge to go dig in her bag to check her cell phone, with the ringer off. She guessed that Chris had probably called a half-dozen times. Should she deal with it now, or wait until later?
Later, she thought as she grabbed the remote and hit the off button. Definitely later. What was really calling her name was the triple-chocolate cream pie Danielle had left for dessert. Whatever the trouble, didn’t chocolate always make it better?
She was plating a nice creamy piece when she heard the garage door crank open. It sounded as though Danielle and Jonas were home. Sure enough, a few minutes later the two of them came through the door. The security system chimed their arrival. It was simple to tell by the happiness on her sister’s face that they’d had a good time. Jonas, leaning tiredly on his cane, gave her a nod of thanks, a kind “good-night” and headed down the hall, no doubt to check on the kids.
Danielle set her purse on the end of the counter. “Would you mind cutting me one of those?”
“I’ve got a plate right here.” She knew her sister well and her weakness for chocolate. “You didn’t have dessert tonight?”
“Dinner was so good, I didn’t save any room.” Dani headed to the fridge and took out a gallon of milk. “The movie was great, though. It was about a pair of cops. Jonas really enjoyed all the action.”
“He misses his old job.” In an instant, things could change in a person’s life. Life happened and sometimes it was never the same. Take Jonas for example. Over a year ago, he’d been doing his job as a state trooper and got shot on a routine traffic stop. His life and Dani’s had taken a new direction they never expected.
“Yes,” Danielle answered sadly. “He loves staying home with the kids and being a full-time dad, but he misses being a trooper, too.”
God had been gracious. Jonas was doing fine and their family was stronger than ever, but it hadn’t been easy. Life gave a person a certain amount of battle scars. Although she hadn’t gone through anything nearly as traumatic as Jonas had, she had her own emotional scars.
What she’d gone through with Chris and his final battle, as she thought of it, had been life changing for her. And if her big brother, Spence, hadn’t come to her rescue, she hated to think what would have happened. She wondered where she would be right now if she hadn’t met Chris.
“You seem a million miles away.” Danielle took two glasses down from the cupboard and began filling them. “You get that troubled look when Chris has been bothering you. Has he been calling?”
“He’s started up again. You know how he does.”
“I do. Have you answered?”
“No, and I’m avoiding his calls because I know he wants to start things up again.”
“And you don’t want that, right?”