She Made Me Laugh. Stephanie Emmons
They settled on a fuchsia theme. The whole thing was over the top as far as my own personal taste was concerned, but to each their own. Finally, we came in from the church to the priest’s residence to have lunch.
Some of the strong, unfamiliar smells of their food turn me right off. This tends to decrease the appetite. They gave me two pieces of chicken, which I had happened to notice had been sitting on the counter for about four hours. When I said no thanks, they said it had been prepared especially for me. Despite my multiple polite attempts at declining, they insisted. I nibbled on a few bites and just couldn’t stomach them. I ate a little bit of rice and drank some water but ultimately had to tell them my stomach was upset so they would stop offering me food! It’s nice to be cared for but I felt like I wanted to punch something. Luckily, earlier in the week I had learned their word for enough: madi. So when I said it, they were pleasantly surprised that I knew it and they dropped the subject.
After lunch they asked if I’d like to lie down and I gratefully accepted, glad to be alone for a while. They showed me a sort of sofa in Father’s office, and although it was made of wood, there was a puffy mint green throw pillow, which, once propped under my head, did the trick. I wasn’t ill, just bored and a bit irritated with the whole situation. From the bookshelf beside me, I picked out a book called Song of the Bird by Anthony DeMello, an Indian author. It was a collection of stories about contemplative prayer, finding God within, etc., like parables. It really spoke to me.
On the way home while looking for a taxi in a busy area, I asked Sister Carmel if we could find somewhere to make a phone call so I could call my Mom. Shaking her head, she said that I’d have to pay cash up front and it would be very expensive. She basically was saying no, though not unkindly. She told me I could make the call later from the Center where we were staying and save money. I guess I just needed to talk to my Mom, or I felt powerless, or both. My face flushed and I knew if I blinked hot tears would spill out and roll down my cheeks. I held it together a while, but when we were settled in the taxi, Sister Carmel caught sight of my face. “You look sad,” she said. “Just tired,” I replied, smiling a little. And that was it. I was done chatting. I turned and looked out the window.
The rest of the day I had a very hard time smiling and carrying on much in the way of conversation, which was not easy. They always want to chat. It was a difficult day. Sometimes I just want to go home.
This place is so bizarre in every way—the food, the smells, the language, the animal sounds, the Muslim chanting loudly at 5 in the morning, the smoke and smog, the people staring at us all the time—everything! I’m letting it all hang out with you in this letter because I know I can and because I have to. It’s 5 pm and Miriam will be out till 8 or 9 pm. I miss her. I thought I’d be fine without her for a while, but I have a feeling we are each other’s lifeline. Well—she’s mine, at least. If I were here without a friend from home I’d be having a much harder time.
Anyway, I’d better run. It’s getting late and we have to get up early tomorrow. Hope all is well back home! I’ll call soon.
Love Steph
I needed Miriam in India, and I needed to know that Margie was there for me, too, at home. I kept writing to Margie, and sometimes I was more upbeat!
Dear Margie,
Today is our last day in Cochin for a while. Tomorrow, Wednesday, Jan 17, we leave for Calcutta by train at 4:30 pm (which is 6 am Wednesday for you). It should take about three days! We’ll call as soon as we arrive. It may take a little while to find a phone and arrange to call so don’t worry if you don’t hear from us. This week has been … memorable. It’s been challenging in many ways, but I wouldn’t trade it. And we are succeeding in losing weight without even trying! Neither of us has been sick so that’s a bonus. Lately we’ve been preparing our own meals because we don’t always like what they are serving. We eat mostly rice, veggies, and some chicken. And bananas—they are a staple at every meal. As you know, I hate bananas, but these ones are so fresh and sweet, they’re almost bearable. When we get back here to Cochin after our time in Calcutta, we’re going up to “the hills” where apparently some of the native peoples have never seen white people! I haven’t seen any elephants yet, but Miriam said she saw 6 or 7 on the road the other day. I hope I get to ride one!
Take care. I miss you.
Love Steph
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