Amethyst. Christabel R. Coleridge
her, she was well assured that she “made the ball fine” for him. She did not remain unconscious or ignorant of what had befallen her. Love did not come to her with slow, cautious, and imperceptible footsteps, he caught her in a sweet frenzy, which left no space for misgivings; while her quickly answering warmth probably hastened and intensified the passion, which might have seemed alien to Lucian’s slower and shyer nature.
A few social meetings and games of tennis together—one or two encounters “by chance,” which yet were so important that it seemed as if the whole course of life must have been arranged to bring them about—a sunny Sunday or two, in the same church, singing the same hymns—a belief in each other’s goodness, so that no misgivings troubled their joy in each other’s charms, scraps of talk—wonderful glances—the county ball, where Amethyst’s success woke Lucian to the sudden fear of rivalry, and where the world began to say that she was a great beauty—a dance the next night at a neighbour’s house—a long, long waltz together, then, dim lights, heavy-scented flowers, a wonderful sense of being alone, after the crowd of dancers; then feelings found words, words hardly needed, his arms were round her, his kiss on her lips, and, after scarcely a doubt or a fear, in three short weeks, in a dozen meetings, Amethyst’s heart was won, her promise given, and all her story, as she believed, told.
But, with the actual promise given, with the spoken words, Lucian, at any rate, woke up to a sense of real life, and of what it behoved him to do.
“To-morrow I must come to Lord Haredale. I hope he won’t kick me down-stairs.”
“Why should he be angry? We are not doing wrong.—That is—ought I to have told mother first?—Was it too quick?” faltered Amethyst, crimson and trembling with sudden misgiving.
“Too quick! It has seemed a life-time since last night, before I could speak to you! I am my own master. But you, who might have all London at your feet, they will say I ought to have let you have a season in town first.”
“But that wouldn’t have made any difference.”
“No? I don’t suppose it would. Nothing could make any difference to me. We’ll go and live at Toppings. You like the country. I meant to see if I could not go to Norway, and get some seal fishing; but I shan’t care for that now, we’ll settle down at once.”
But this was going too fast for Amethyst.
“Oh don’t,” she said, “don’t; I—I cannot think.—It is too much.—I want to stop—to wait—not to have any more now!”
She turned white as she spoke, overwhelmed with the rush of emotion; while Lucian, though only half-comprehending, held himself back, drew her on to a seat, and said, “I’ve done something clumsy, and frightened you. I always do.”
“Oh no—no—no! But oh! It is so wonderful—it is—it is like death!” cried Amethyst. She did not in the least know what she meant, and in a moment the strange rapture passed, the colour came back in natural blushes, her eyes fell, and she rose from her seat.
“Some one will come. Let us go back. Let us find mother.”
Lucian laughed a little curious laugh, and as the music ceased, and footsteps sounded, he offered her his arm formally, and led her back into the lighted ball-room; where, at the entrance to the conservatory, her partner claimed her, and he began to remember that there was a young lady somewhere to whom he had been introduced.
A boyish shyness seized on him, he turned his back on Amethyst, and went off hastily to the other end of the room. And she, away from him, suddenly found out that she was utterly, wonderfully happy, and laughed and danced with joyous glee. She did not want to speak to him or to come near him again just yet, she only wanted to feel happy, in the whirl of the music and the dancing, and the sparkle of the lights. While he stood in a corner, and thought how lovely she looked.
There were other people in the carriage with Amethyst and her mother as they drove home; but as soon as they arrived there, and the “Good-nights” had passed, she pursued Lady Haredale to the cosy dressing-room, where she sat up late sometimes with a novel, or dawdled over one in the morning, when disinclined to come down-stairs. She had taken off her evening dress, and was sitting by the fire in a pretty blue dressing-gown, which gave her an unusually youthful look, when Amethyst, still in her white ball dress, came in and stood by her side.
“Well, little girl, what is it?”
“Oh, mamma,” said Amethyst, “mamma; I thought I ought to come.” She stammered a little, then lifted up her stately head, and said simply, “Lucian Leigh has asked me to marry him.”
“Already?” exclaimed Lady Haredale. “Why I shall never make a match-making mother. I saw that he was épris, but I never thought of its happening at once!”
“I—I am afraid it seems quick—but, mother—I hope you won’t be angry, nor my father—but I said yes.”
“You did? and suppose my lord says no?”
“Oh, mamma, he will not?”
“Suppose he does?”
“I should wait till he consented, I couldn’t change. But indeed, mamma, he has quite enough money.”
“The little mercenary thing! She has thought of that!”
“No—no—but I thought there could be nothing else, he is so good.”
“Now look here, Amethyst,” said Lady Haredale, standing up, and laying her hand on the girl’s shoulder, “this is your first fancy?”
“Mother!”
“Well, yes, I supposed so. Now listen, and no one shall say I don’t tell you all the truth. You are a beauty. That is a very different thing from being a pretty girl. You would have—I could ensure your having—a great success, and you might make a very great marriage. I don’t think many mothers would let you marry in the country at eighteen. But, on the other hand, we’re as poor as rats, as you know; if you marry young Leigh you are provided for, and if you think you love him—I believe she is in love with him—all my children are susceptible! No, I won’t talk you out of it.”
“Talking could not make any difference,” said Amethyst; then suddenly—“Oh, mamma, I don’t want to be wilful, I will try to be good, but please—please don’t say I must not!”
There was a passion in her tone, which Lady Haredale felt.
“No,” she said. “You shall have him! How like you are to poor pretty Blanche; you shan’t be talked out of your lover as she was. I’ll not have it on my conscience. But does the child think she knows her own mind?”
Amethyst felt indescribably jarred and hurt by her mothers manner. Her cheeks burnt and her eyes were bright, as she answered with equal straightforwardness, and with unexpected passion—
“I should have liked to be a beauty, and have a success; I know I should like it. But that’s all nothing, compared—compared to him,” as the tears came in floods, and she hid her face.
“Ah!” said Lady Haredale.—“Poor little girl, it’s a shame to tease her! You are a good child, my pretty Amethyst, and you shall stay good, if you can. Come, kiss me and forgive me, and you shall have your way.” Amethyst threw herself into her mother’s arms, and, in clinging kisses, soon forgot her vexation. “Mother was right to make sure;” and she only felt that she had the kindest and tenderest mother ever known, and the most sympathetic. For Lady Haredale, with a sudden change of tone, began to question her, and listened to the little idyll with as fresh and eager an interest as if she had been Amethyst’s sister or school friend.
“My darling, its lovely. It’s the sweetest thing I ever knew, and I won’t let anything interfere with it.”
Chapter Eight.