The Distance Learning Playbook for Parents. Rosalind Wiseman
class is not meeting together, please do so. That may save a little time for the teacher to spend with a child whose family is not able to do so. If you have time, please volunteer to be a tutor or mentor or classroom aide. This will allow essential workers to do their jobs with a little more peace of mind.
In sum, distance learning is not going to harm your child’s education if there is a partnership between you, your child, and the teacher. Let the teacher teach. Support your child’s sense of purpose in their education. Implement some of the recommendations in each of the section of this book. You may have to be more involved that you were in the past, but don’t assume that you have to provide most of the instruction your child needs. And yes, things will get messy, there will be moments of frustration, and maybe even times when you or your child wants to give up. All these feelings and more are understandable, and this book will help you get through those moments so that you and your child can get their education back on track with your relationship stronger in the process.
1 The Basics
We call this section “The Basics” for a reason. The basics are critical to building the foundation you need for your child’s education. You will find some essential actions that parents, students, and teachers have found useful on the journey to ensure learning still happens away from the place called school. We think of these as the enabling conditions that will allow the values and mindsets we describe to take root. Having said that, remember that these are recommendations, not requirements. You know your child best. It’s not worth a dramatic battle to implement all these recommendations. We care that your child wants to learn and knows how to learn way more than we care if your child complies with the general ideas collected from others.
In this section:
□ Establish Routines
□ Create a Learning Environment
□ Learn the Learning Management System
□ Follow Zoom Etiquette
□ Ensure That Your Children Sleep
□ Monitor Screen Time
□ Communicate With Teachers
□ Take Care of Yourself
Establish Routines
When your child attended physical school, there were any number of routines that she engaged in on a daily and weekly basis. There was a time to get up. There was tooth brushing, hair combing, and eating breakfast—all to be done by a certain time every day. There was getting ready for school. There was coming home from school. Each family has a way of accomplishing these things. In many families, that all fell apart in the pandemic. Students were showing up to virtual school not having eaten, not looking groomed, and even sleepy.
One of the best practices we can enact during distance learning is to establish routines for children. It’s comforting and predictable. And predicable routines are known to reduce stress. Over time, these become habits that don’t take any cognitive energy.
We cannot tell you the best time in your family to ensure that children wake up, bathe, brush their teeth, eat, and complete the range of personal care tasks required for hygiene and health. What we can tell you is that if you create a schedule and follow it, your quality of life will increase, and the stress level of your children will decrease.
YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BEST. IT’S NOT WORTH A DRAMATIC BATTLE TO IMPLEMENT ALL THESE RECOMMENDATIONS.
It’s important that children feel like they are going to school, even when they are learning from a distance. It’s a mindset that we’re looking for. And when they are ready for school, and look like they are ready for school, they’re a little less worried about appearing online. If your routines have fallen apart a bit, we recommend developing a written schedule for the major tasks that need to be completed, appropriate for the age of the child, of course. Even consider making lunch the night before if that was your habit previously. It sends the message that tomorrow is a school day. And, figure out which alarm clock system will work for your family and an agreed accountability strategy if someone oversleeps.
For example, in the Johnson family, they created a bathroom checklist for their three children, ages 5, 7, and 10. As Matt said, “I know it sounds silly and that we should have thought about it on our own, but when we created the checklist it took away some of the conflict in our family. We used to fight about these things. Now, we check the list and only focus on things that didn’t get done.” After four weeks of the checklist, habits had been formed and they didn’t need to use it any longer.
As part of the routines, remember that chores are also important as they instill responsibility in young people. They teach responsibility, self-reliance, teamwork, time management, respect, and help build a work ethic. When we were young, none of us remember really liking our chores, but we do remember the sense of accomplishment we experienced when they were completed. Children need to learn that their investment in the household benefits everyone.
Consider the routines that are important for your family to function and the habits you want to build in your children. These are the key messages:
➔ Identify the self-care needs of your children and develop routines for them to accomplish the tasks.
➔ Develop a schedule, if needed, for your children to follow the routines.
➔ Make sure that your children are ready for school each day.
➔ Develop a list of chores that children need to complete.
➔ Avoid negotiating schoolwork versus chores.
Create a Learning Environment
We all need a place to work and learn. For most school-age children, that has been in the school building and perhaps a kitchen table or small desk in their room. Learning at home heightens the need for a consistent and convenient place for children to engage in schooling. We’ll start with the ideal and then consider some options.
Ideally, each child will have a location that is “theirs” to work. Ideally, this will not be in their bedroom (and really not on their bed) as their peers, teachers, and adults in the homes of other students do not need to be inside your child’s room. We recognize that the ideal is not always possible. But, ideally, there is a location in which each child has a dedicated space. They do not need to be alone in that space. In fact, it may be better socially for them to spend time together during the day while learning. But they do need a place to keep their things. For example, you might provide your child a bin to hold books, workbooks, notebooks, journals, and other school supplies (crayons, pencils, scissors, etc.).
For example, there are four people in the Green’s home. They decided to convert their dining room, which they rarely used, into a shared workspace. Two adults and two children each have desks in there, and they use headphones while on video calls, much like is done in a call center. As Jeremy, their fourth grader, said, “When Dad is on his calls, we try to be quiet and do our work. And he tries to be quiet when I am in class with Ms. Montez. We all have work to do.” His second-grade sister Sarah said, “We all go to work together after breakfast but sometimes I go outside for class.” In the Green’s home, there is a small fenced yard with a picnic table that has a sun umbrella, and Sarah likes to work there.
Jessica is a single parent of two teenagers. They decided to convert their garage into an office space. As Jessica said, “It turns out that they really liked the project of transforming the garage. They took pictures and documented the whole thing. They created a really cool space for their studies. I have to work outside the home, and I like to check in on them while they’re in their new offices.”
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