THE BADDEST VILLAINS - James Bond Edition. Ian Fleming
or a word had been dropped that was out of place. It was obviously a front of some kind, but a solid one, meticulously supported by the decor and the cast. The lack of resonance in the room, and now in the corridor, suggested that they had stepped from the Quonset hut into the side of the mountain and that they were now walking through its base. At a guess they would be walking towards the west – towards the cliff-face with which the island ended. There was no moisture on the walls and the air was cool and pure with a strongish breeze coming towards them. A lot of money and good engineering had gone into the job. The pallor of the two women suggested that they spent all their time inside the mountain. From what Sister Lily had said it sounded as if they were part of an inside staff that had nothing to do with the strong-arm squad outside and perhaps didn’t even understand what sort of men they were.
It was grotesque, concluded Bond as they came nearer to a door at the end of the corridor, dangerously grotesque, but it was no good wondering about it. He could only follow the lines of the gracious script. At least this was better than the backstage of the island outside.
At the door, Sister Lily rang. They had been expected. The door opened at once. An enchanting Chinese girl in a mauve and white flowered kimono stood smiling and bowing as Chinese girls are supposed to do. Again there was nothing but warmth and welcome in the pale, flowerlike face. Sister Lily cried, ‘Here they are at last, May! Mr and Mrs John Bryce. And I know they must be exhausted so we must take them straight to their rooms for some breakfast and a sleep.’ She turned to Bond. ‘This is May. Such a dear girl. She will be looking after you both. Anything you want, just ring for May. She’s a favourite with all our patients.’
Patients, thought Bond. That’s the second time she’s used the word. He smiled politely at the girl. ‘How do you do. Yes, we’d certainly both of us like to get to our rooms.’
May embraced them both with a warm smile. She said in a low, attractive voice, ‘I do hope you’ll both be comfortable, Mr Bryce. I took the liberty of ordering breakfast as soon as I heard you had come in. Shall we …?’ Corridors branched off to left and right of double lift-doors set in the wall opposite. The girl led the way to the right. Bond and Honeychile followed with Sister Lily taking up the rear.
Numbered doors led off the corridor on either side. Now the decor was in the lightest pink with a dove grey carpet. The numbers on the doors were in the tens. The corridor came to an abrupt end with two doors side by side, 14 and 15. May opened the door of 14, and they followed her in.
It was a charming double bedroom in modern Miami style with dark green walls, dark polished mahogany floor with occasional thick white rugs, and well-designed bamboo furniture with a chintz of large red roses on a white background. There was a communicating door into a more masculine dressing-room and another that led into an extremely luxurious modern bathroom with a step-down bath and a bidet.
It was like being shown into the very latest Florida hotel suite – except for two details which Bond noticed. There were no windows and no inside handles to the doors.
May looked hopefully from one to the other.
Bond turned to Honeychile. He smiled at her. ‘It looks very comfortable, don’t you think, darling?’
The girl played with the edge of her skirt. She nodded, not looking at him.
There was a timid knock on the door and another girl, as pretty as May, tripped in with a loaded tray balanced on her upturned hand. She put it down on the centre table and pulled up two chairs. She whisked off the speckless linen cloth that covered the dishes and pattered out of the room. There was a delicious smell of bacon and coffee.
May and Sister Lily backed to the door. The older woman stopped on the threshold. ‘And now we’ll leave you two dear people in peace. If you want anything, just ring. The bells are by the bed. Oh, and by the way, you’ll find plenty of fresh clothes in the cupboards. Chinese style, I’m afraid,’ she twinkled apologetically, ‘but I hope they’re the right sizes. The wardrobe room only got the measurements yesterday evening. The Doctor has given strict orders that you’re not to be disturbed. He’d be delighted if you’d join him for dinner this evening. He wants you to have the whole of the rest of the day to yourselves – to get settled down, you know.’ She paused and looked from one to the other, smiling inquiry. ‘Shall I say you …?’
‘Yes, please,’ said Bond. ‘Tell the Doctor we shall be delighted to join him for dinner.’
‘Oh, I know he’ll be so pleased.’ With a last twitter the two women softly withdrew and closed the door behind them.
Bond turned towards Honeychile. She looked embarrassed. She still avoided his eyes. It occurred to Bond that she could never have met such soft treatment or seen such luxury in her life. To her, all this must be far more strange and terrifying than what they had gone through outside. She stood and fiddled at the hem of her Man Friday skirt. There were streaks of dried sweat and salt and dust on her face. Her bare legs were filthy and Bond noticed that her toes were moving softly as they gripped nervously into the wonderful thick pile carpet.
Bond laughed. He laughed with real pleasure that her fear had been drowned in the basic predicament of clothes and how to behave, and he laughed at the picture they made – she in her rags and he in his dirty blue shirt and black jeans and muddy canvas shoes.
He went to her and took her hands. They were cold. He said, ‘Honey, we’re a couple of scarecrows. There’s only one problem. Shall we have breakfast first while it’s hot, or shall we get out of these rags and have a bath and eat the breakfast when it’s cold? Don’t worry about anything else. We’re here in this wonderful little house and that’s all that matters. Now then, what shall we do?’
She smiled uncertainly. The blue eyes searched his face for reassurance. ‘You’re not worried about what’s going to happen to us?’ She nodded at the room. ‘Don’t you think this is all a trap?’
‘If it’s a trap we’re in it. There’s nothing we can do now but eat the cheese. The only question is whether we eat it hot or cold.’ He pressed her hands. ‘Really, Honey. Leave the worrying to me. Just think where we were an hour ago. Isn’t this better? Now come on and decide the really important things. Bath or breakfast?’
She said reluctantly, ‘Well, if you think … I mean – I’d rather get clean first.’ She added quickly, ‘But you’ve got to help me.’ She jerked her head towards the bathroom door. ‘I don’t know how to work one of those places. What do you do?’
Bond said seriously, ‘It’s quite easy. I’ll fix it all ready for you. While you’re having your bath, I’ll have my breakfast. I’ll keep yours warm.’ Bond went to one of the built-in clothes cupboards and ran the door back. There were half a dozen kimonos, some silk and some linen. He took out a linen one at random. ‘You take off your clothes and get into this and I’ll get the bath ready. Later on you can choose the things you want to wear for bed and dinner.’
She said gratefully, ‘Oh yes, James. If you’ll just show me …’ She started to unbutton her shirt.
Bond wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. Instead he said abruptly, ‘That’s fine, Honey,’ and went into the bathroom and turned on the taps.
There was everything in the bathroom – Floris Lime bath essence for men and Guerlain bathcubes for women. He crushed a cube into the water and at once the room smelled like an orchid house. The soap was Guerlain’s Sapoceti, Fleurs des Alpes. In a medicine cupboard behind the mirror over the washbasin were toothbrushes and toothpaste, Steradent toothpicks, Rose mouthwash, dental floss, Aspirin and Milk of Magnesia. There was also an electric razor, Lentheric after-shave lotion, and two nylon hairbrushes and combs. Everything was brand new and untouched.
Bond looked at his filthy unshaven face in the mirror and smiled grimly into the grey, sunburned castaway’s eyes. The coating on the pill was certainly of the very finest sugar. It would be wise to expect that the medicine inside would be of the bitterest.
He turned back to the bath and felt the water. It would be too hot for someone who presumably had never had a hot bath before. He let