Leading Wisely. Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries
Generally speaking, however, what these qualities suggest is that wise people are quite perceptive in making sense of the human dilemmas faced by themselves and other people. They quickly understand the issues that they are struggling with and are able to give well thought through action recommendations.
What should also be added is that wise people appear to be less interested in going after purely hedonistic pursuits. What is more top of mind, is the pursuit of the common good, meaning activities that also would benefit other people besides themselves. As they like their actions to transcend their self-interests, they are guided by a strong moral compass in whatever actions they undertake. Generally speaking, wise people possess a strong set of values. They possess a true-north moral compass. In other words, wise people try to do what they think is right, not what is going to be easy. As the Roman statesman Cicero said quite simply, ‘The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil.’
Furthermore, given their sense of curiosity about the world, people wanting to pursue wisdom are more likely to engage in cerebral activities. Self-reflection, self-knowledge and personal growth will be important to them, and while they are learning from experience, they try to acquire a rich understanding of how the world they live in really functions. In fact, the way they display their wisdom often invites admiration and encouragement.
While further reflecting on the story of the king and the stormy painting, keep in mind that storms can purify the atmosphere, enabling you to have a much clearer sight afterwards. What is more, quite frequently – as the king in the story recognized – often it is wisdom that turns out to be the child of these storms. In fact, without experiencing internal storms, it will be difficult for you to obtain the calmness of wisdom. Only by making sense of intense life experiences will wisdom come your way. However, it does not completely explain the ultimate motivation to search for wisdom. Why do we experience this need to know all these unknowns?
The ‘stealth motivator’ that is death
As far as unknowns are concerned, death can be viewed as the final unknown. Death can be considered the ultimate mystery. However, given its mystifying nature, the knowledge of the inevitability of death may be an explanatory factor in your desire to acquire wisdom. Thus, at a certain point in your life, you may come to realize that the greatest mystery of your life is that it ends. That being so, it could well become the driving force for greater exploration.1 You may decide that whatever you are doing deserves greater scrutiny. As Socrates said very astutely, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ When you are aware of endings, the fear of living an unlived life will become more pressing. If you have lived your life in such a manner, it will begin to feel like the last thing that you would like to happen. Therefore, could it be that the need to pursue wisdom is driven by the will to live life in such a way that you are prepared to face death when it comes? Could it be that your preoccupation with wisdom is based on the wish to unveil life's ultimate mystery?
The ever-presence of death may also lead you to question what you really want out of life. What would make your life truly meaningful? The reminder that you are mortal may even tempt you to ask the tough questions about your life such as, ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I here?’ ‘What drives me?’ ‘Is this the kind of life I want to live?’ ‘What would I like to accomplish in the life that I have left?’ If you are prepared to address these questions – if you do not want to live an unexamined life – you might find yourself walking on unexplored, but interesting paths. Also, in trying to deal with these questions, you may be forced to become more honest with yourself about the way that you are living. It may even motivate you to ask yourself, ‘What would you consider a life, well-lived?’ and ‘What changes, sacrifices and actions are you prepared to make to be able to live a fully lived life?’
It could very well be that once you realize the finality of life, you liberate yourself from letting life merely pass by. No longer will you live under the illusion that you have an infinite amount of time; that you can put off until some future date the need to understand what is bringing significance to your life. Instead, the inevitability of your impending death may teach you many things about the wise use of your time – about the various challenges that warrant your attention.
Most likely, given the statement, ‘Dust thou art, and to dust thou shalt return,’ many of us would like to fill our lives with meaningful activities. In fact, it is quite paradoxical that as soon as we become truly aware of the fact that life has an ending, we begin to appreciate what life has to offer.2 Once more, death anxiety encourages us to explore what our life is all about. Thus, knowing that there may come a day when our life will be flashing before our eyes, we want to make sure that whatever passes by is going to be worth watching.
Of course, some people may be obsessed by the idea of an after-life. It becomes their way to alleviate their anxiety about death. In the meantime, however, it is wise to explore what is happening in this life. Hopefully, in the pursuit of wisdom, they may find what is meaningful to them. Their challenge will be to realize what is really important – how to direct their energy – before they approach their end. Otherwise, they may end up living a life of regrets.
Looking for answers
If you possess this attitude of not knowing, you will also be better equipped to deal with situations whereby you do not know the answer to a question. Wise people accept it as something to look forward to, seeing it as yet another learning opportunity. Consequently, wise people astutely take advantage of difficult questions. They will truly welcome questions to which they have no answers. It forces them to reflect on what is being said. As I have learned from experience, it is exactly these questions that contribute to new insights. In fact, the people who are truly experts – the ones respected by other experts – are the first to admit how much there is yet to be discovered. Thus, what may need repeating, recalling Socrates' remarks, is that true wisdom is found in your admitting to not knowing. It also has to do with your ability to see – and to see what is beyond the obvious. In that respect, a true sign of wisdom is to constantly wonder about things, to take nothing for granted, and to be less sure that you understand the challenges that come your way.
Wise people always keep in mind that nobody has a monopoly on the truth. In fact, they are more like passengers in a train, travelling within the landscape of wisdom, trying to catch an occasional glimpse of what could be an insight. While travelling through this landscape, they know that there are many forces trying to pull them in different directions, but they also realize, while on this journey, that the best they can do is to be tolerant of these forces. Confusing as it might be, they also know that these forces reflect what the universe has to offer. However, even though these forces will create moments of paralysis, wise people also realize that they cannot let it be. The images glanced at during this train journey should be translated into action. Wise people know that there will be times when they have to take a stand, to do what they think is right.
While pursuing wisdom, you can look at your life as a book with many chapters. This book of life will also contain much data; it will have many facts. However, your challenge will be to discern the lessons that are embedded within all the facts that can be found in your book of life. In your search for wisdom, will you be able to untangle among these many facts the stories of success and failure, of joy and sorrow? Can you make sense out of them? Have you learned something from the stormy moments that you went through? Are you able to see any patterns? Does what you have learned, given these stormy experiences, help you in making wise decisions? Are you engaged in any activities that go beyond the self? Are you following Albert Einstein's admonition: ‘Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.’
Furthermore, wise people, in aiming for the common good, will not be afraid to raise their voice for honesty and truth and compassion against the forces of injustice, selfishness and greed. If such behavior was to become contagious – if people all over the world were prepared to share their values – it could change the world. In other words, a country's greatest