Planning A Wedding For Dummies. Sarah Lizabeth Barker
a male, he would be your man of honor. If you are a male whose best friend is female, she would be your best woman.Traditionally, these people are either relatives or your very best friend. Prior to the wedding, the job responsibilities of these people are to help with any planning, throw showers or parties in your honor, help with selecting the attire for the bridal party, and anything else that you need during the planning process. On the wedding day they are by your side to troubleshoot any problems, hold the rings during the ceremony and give a speech at the reception. They have your back no matter what. If you need anything, they should be there to help.On many occasions, I’ve seen parents of the couple serving as the matron of honor or best man. This is a special way to acknowledge parents who have been your number one fan. If that is the case for you, I say do it. They know you the best and will support you like no one else.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are additional siblings, siblings of your fiancé, or very close friends. They too have responsibilities, which include helping with any planning needs, attending dress fittings, assisting with showers and parties, and standing next to you on the wedding day. They attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding day.
Flower girl. The flower girl is typically a relative, such as a young cousin, sibling, niece, or a family friend, between one and ten years old. Some of my clients who are teachers use their students as the flower girl. You can have one or multiple flower girls. They will throw rose petals down the aisle — if permitted by your venue — or may wear a flower crown.
Ring bearer. The ring bearer is typically a relative, such as a young cousin, sibling, nephew, or a family friend, between one and ten years old. Traditionally, the ring bearer carries a pillow down the aisle, but I have had clients who took the very cute approach of having the ring bearer carry a box that says, “Ring Police.” It’s popular to think that ring bearers actually hold the rings, but they do not. Those rings cost a lot of money and the last thing you need is for them to get lost on the way down the aisle. Give the ring bearer a fake ring, which can be purchased online or a local craft store. The real rings need to be given to the best man or maid or matron of honor prior to the start of the ceremony. If you don’t have a little potential ring bearer in your life, consider incorporating your pet on your wedding day (make sure your venue allows animals!). Assign someone in your squad to take care of the pet for the remainder of the evening or have someone pick them up and take them to where you will be at the end of the night. I can’t tell you how many times clients don’t think about this, and our team is left to watch their animal for the night. While we are all animal lovers, it needs to be assigned to someone in your circle.
Junior bridesmaids and groomsmen. If you have someone special in your life whom you want in the wedding but they’re too old to be a flower girl or ring bearer and too young to be a bridesmaid or groomsman, they can be your junior bridesmaid or junior groomsman. Their responsibilities are not as extensive at the bridesmaids and groomsmen but you can include them based on age-appropriate activities. (I’m certain they would love to attend the bachelorette or bachelor party, but they may be too young.) They will stand with you on your wedding day with the rest of your bridal party.
Mother of the bride. The mother of the bride is a very important person on the wedding day. She will typically be with the bride all day and help her get ready. She will make sure she is dressed and ready to go for her big moment. The mother of the bride is most often the one who hosts showers and parties for the bride. She will also be the one who stands first when the bride enters the ceremony. Sometimes at the rehearsal dinner or the reception, she will give a speech.
Father of the bride. The father of the bride is traditionally the parent with the most responsibilities. He is the one who walks the bride down the aisle. If the bride chooses, he also gives her away to be married to the groom. At the reception, he gives the welcome and the toast to the bride and groom. He also dances with the bride during the father-daughter dance. Not everyone’s story is the same, so if you don’t have a father figure, an uncle, cousin, brother, or close friend can fill this role. I have also seen couples who have children take on these responsibilities. If you can’t pick just one parent, consider both of your parents walking you down the aisle.
Mother of the groom. The mother of the groom gives all her love and support to the groom on the wedding day. She serves as a support if he needs her in anyway. She will co-host the rehearsal dinner with the father of the groom, and she will be a part of the speeches at that dinner. She also dances with the groom at the reception during the mother-son dance, a special moment between the groom and his mother.
Father of the groom. The father of the groom also supports his son on the wedding day. I have often seen the father of the groom hanging out with the groom and his groomsmen to offer support as needed. He will also co-host the rehearsal dinner and give a speech to honor his son and fiancée.
Ushers. The ushers are typically males who are close to the couple or related to the couple but are not bridesmaids or groomsmen. If you don’t want to select additional men, you can utilize the groomsmen as ushers. Their job responsibility is to escort the female guests into the venue for the ceremony. They let guests know which side to sit on based on whether they know the bride or the groom. You should have two ushers per one hundred guests.
Guestbook/program attendants. Typically, these are female relatives or friends who are close to you but not bridesmaids. Their job is to make sure the guests sign the guestbook at the ceremony and pass out the programs as guests enter the venue for the ceremony.
That is your bridal party and their responsibilities. When you ask your bridal party to be a part of your wedding, it’s important to discuss their responsibilities with them. Make sure they’re comfortable and willing to help you prior to and on your big day.
In Table 2-1, write in the names of the people in your bridal party. Down the road when we plan your ceremony, it will be helpful to have all the names in one spot.
TABLE 2-1 Your Bridal Party
| Title | Name |
|---|---|
| Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor | |
| Best Man/Men | |
| Bridesmaids | |
| Groomsmen | |