A play for 4,5,6,7,8 or 9 people. Holy Gaetz! Comedy. Nikolay Lakutin
(speaking rapidly). Senior Lieutenant Xenophon Vasiliev. (Puts his hand to his cap properly) Document verification!
The girl driver holds out the documents, Xenophon looks disapprovingly. Flipping through. Glances at the driver.
Xenophon (reproachfully). And what about the citizen in the next seat is not wearing a seat belt? Violating?
The passenger silently hands Xenophon a bill.
Xenophon carefully looked around, accepts the gift.
Xenophon (philosophically, judiciously). How not to take …
Returns the documents to the driver, puts his hand to the cap.
Xenophon (calmly saying goodbye). All the best!
The sound of a car leaving.
The ladies leave the parking spot.
Xenophon (to the viewer, enough, waving the bill he took). That's it!!!
Puts the bill in his pocket.
Xenophon (to himself). In the piggy bank.
The noise of the car is growing again. Xenophon is on guard again. Looking out. Vigilant.
Here he noticed the "victim". A sneaky, sly grin. A wave of the stick, pointing to the parking lot.
Alyona drives up, parks.
Xenophon approaches, his duty phrase sounds.
Xenophon (speaking rapidly). Senior Lieutenant Xenophon Vasiliev. (Puts his hand to his cap properly) Document verification!
Alyona (starts babbling, without letting the lieutenant finish his duty phrase, pityingly, submitting documents). Sinful, sinful, Comrade Lieutenant! The devil got confused, turned in the wrong place, well, you yourself saw everything perfectly. And I don't need anything. And when I started to turn, that's when I saw it. And where already now, the maneuver has begun… I had to finish. You will forgive me, please, for the first time, I will never do this again, never, honestly, I repent!
Xenophon (checking documents, stretching out vowels, like a priest in a temple). Greshnaaaa, my daughter, greshnaaaa, Alyona Sergeeeyevna. But what should I do with you, how to absolve a sin so severely punished? After all, I cannot let you go without punishment, because punishment comes from the word PUNISHMENT! And that punishment cannot be thrown out of the God-created synym of the universe in any way.
Alyona (guiltily). Can I atone for my guilt with a chervonets minted, which is also not thrown out of the system created by God, because we often pay for our sins with just such a measure of calculation, and as long as from time immemorial the people of a simple power are beaten for everything with a coin. Accept my gift, Father Xenophon, for the donation of the temple of your unsullied Soul, yes, in the name of the remission of my grave sins.
Alyona holds out the bills.
Xenophon thinks about it, does not take it.
Alyona adds more bills, attracts.
Xenophon happily accepts the bribe.
Xenophon (returning the documents). I absolve you of your sins, my daughter, since I repented properly, so that I did not avoid understanding about what I had done. Go with God, but don't go on the thorny seductive path from now on.
Alyona smiles and leaves.
The sound of a car leaving.
The sounds of the city reappear, the noise of passing cars increases.
Extras.
Xenophon is on guard again. Looking out. Vigilant.
Everything subsides and ends.
ZTM.
Scene 2. Angela.
Angela's apartment.
Sounds positive-incendiary music. Angela is all this razetakaya, not too burdening herself with worries, conducts sluggish machinations, the semblance of cleaning around the house. Reluctantly and poorly wipes the dust. He's rearranging something somewhere. Meanwhile, she sips wine, and dances in a good mood in a pleasantly caressing dressing gown.
Here is a duster already thrown far away, and in Angela's hand is a mobile phone.
She's looking at something, dancing, smiling.
Everything is cool.
The musical accompaniment ends, the phone in Angela's hand starts ringing.
Angela looks at the screen a little surprised, picks up the phone.
Angela (waiting for the intrigue). Hello? Oh, Zoya, it's you. What's the number that came up? From what phone? Which Anyuta? Ah, Anyuyuta. Say hi to her. Me? And how will I tell her? When? Now?
The doorbell rings.
Angela gets a little lost, briefly rushes between the receiver and the door, not knowing where to run, who to answer.
He returns to the phone again.
Angela (hurriedly, into the phone). Hello? Hello?
The phone is silent. Angela goes to open the door.
With a squeal, a squeak and all that is necessary in these situations, two friends fly into the apartment. Zoya and Anyuta. Both look great, both are on a marathon, in heels.
All three of them hug. Everyone is happy to see each other. Hugging, opening their arms.
Angela (happily, confused). How? Where are you from…
Zoya (interrupts, joyfully, emotionally, throwing off the cape and sheltering her casually where necessary). I'll tell you everything now! Listen up!
Anyuta (emotionally). You won't believe it! How small the world is, it's just some nonsense. (Immediately changes the subject and rushes to hug Angela again.) God, I've missed you so much, let me hug you again! I haven't seen Zoya as much…
Zoya (energetically, intricately). Girls, wait, I'm with you!!!
Zoya also joins the hugging.
All three of them rejoice, enjoy hugs, cling to each other. Friends are straight friends, where to go.
Angela (with interest). Girls, tell me how, what, where???
Anyuta (emotionally). We're telling you!
Zoya (seizing the initiative). Me first!
Anyuta (emotionally). Come on.
Angela (happily, confused). So, well?
Zoya (emotionally). In general, I came to the spa salon. I made an appointment for three hours, and calmly appeared to myself at the appointed time.
Anyuta (interrupts, emotionally, quickly pronouncing and at the same time actively gesticulating). And I also came by this time, because I also signed up for this salon, to the same master, and also for three hours!
Zoya (emotionally, to Anyuta). Yes, Aaaaaaaaaaa! Well, I'm telling you!
Anyuta (emotionally, without blaming herself too much, Zoike). Yes, you-you-you. Everything. Tell me.
Zoya (emotionally, to Anyuta). You've already told me everything yourself!
Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). You understand, I've been going to this salon for the third year already! Raids, of course, not systematically …
Zoya (emotionally, Angela). I'm the fourth, Angel!
Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And not once, can you imagine? Zoika and I have never crossed paths!
Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). And this time there was something messed up. They took a new administrator, a young girl, well and…
Angela (astonished). Oooooballlldeeeet!!!
Zoya (emotionally, Angela). That's what I'm talking about!
Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And imagine, this klusha (Kindly mows and points to Zoika.) she didn't recognize me!
Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). It's not that I didn't find out. I saw that there was some kind of chicken behind me, but there was no time to look at it, because I was fighting with the administrator