Great Expectations / Большие надежды. Чарльз Диккенс

      I had never heard Joe read aloud to any greater extent than this monosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday, when I accidentally held our Prayer-Book upside down, that it seemed to suit his convenience quite as well as if it had been all right. Wishing to embrace the present occasion of finding out whether in teaching Joe, I should have to begin quite at the beginning, I said, “Ah! But read the rest, Jo.”

      “The rest, eh, Pip?” said Joe, looking at it with a slow, searching eye, “One, two, three. Why, here's three Js, and three Os, and three J-O, Joes in it, Pip!”

      I leaned over Joe, and, with the aid of my forefinger read him the whole letter.

      “Astonishing!” said Joe, when I had finished. “You ARE a scholar.”

      “How do you spell Gargery, Joe?” I asked him, with a modest patronage.

      “I don't spell it at all,” said Joe.

      “But supposing you did?”

      “It can't be supposed,” said Joe. “Tho' I'm uncommon fond of reading, too.”

      “Are you, Joe?”

      “On-common. Give me,” said Joe, “a good book, or a good newspaper, and sit me down afore a good fire, and I ask no better. Lord!” he continued, after rubbing his knees a little, “when you do come to a J and a O, and says you, 'Here, at last, is a J-O, Joe,' how interesting reading is!”

      I derived from this, that Joe's education, like Steam, was yet in its infancy. Pursuing the subject, I inquired,-

      “Didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?”

      “No, Pip.”

      “Why didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?”

      “Well, Pip,” said Joe, taking up the poker, and settling himself to his usual occupation when he was thoughtful, of slowly raking the fire between the lower bars; “I'll tell you. My father, Pip, he were given to drink, and when he were overtook with drink, he hammered away at my mother, most onmerciful. It were a'most the only hammering he did, indeed, 'xcepting at myself. And he hammered at me with a wigor only to be equalled by the wigor with which he didn't hammer at his anwil. – You're a listening and understanding, Pip?”

      “Yes, Joe.”

      “Consequence, my mother and me we ran away from my father several times; and then my mother she'd go out to work, and she'd say, “Joe,” she'd say, “now, please God, you shall have some schooling, child,” and she'd put me to school. But my father were that good in his hart that he couldn't abear to be without us. So, he'd come with a most tremenjous crowd and make such a row at the doors of the houses where we was, that they used to be obligated to have no more to do with us and to give us up to him. And then he took us home and hammered us. Which, you see, Pip,” said Joe, pausing in his meditative raking of the fire, and looking at me, “were a drawback on my learning.”

      “Certainly, poor Joe!”

      “Though mind you, Pip,” said Joe, with a judicial touch or two of the poker on the top bar, “rendering unto all their doo, and maintaining equal justice betwixt man and man, my father were that good in his hart, don't you see?”

      I didn't see; but I didn't say so.

      “Well!” Joe pursued, “somebody must keep the pot a-biling, Pip, or the pot won't bile, don't you know?”

      I saw that, and said so.

      “Consequence, my father didn't make objections to my going to work; so I went to work at my present calling, which were his too, if he would have followed it, and I worked tolerable hard, I assure you, Pip. In time I were able to keep him, and I kep him till he went off in a purple leptic fit. And it were my intentions to have had put upon his tombstone that, Whatsume'er the failings on his part, Remember reader he were that good in his heart.”

      Joe recited this couplet with such manifest pride and careful perspicuity, that I asked him if he had made it himself.

      “I made it,” said Joe, “my own self. I made it in a moment. It was like striking out a horseshoe complete, in a single blow. I never was so much surprised in all my life, – couldn't credit my own ed, – to tell you the truth, hardly believed it were my own ed. As I was saying, Pip, it were my intentions to have had it cut over him; but poetry costs money, cut it how you will, small or large, and it were not done. Not to mention bearers, all the money that could be spared were wanted for my mother. She were in poor elth, and quite broke. She weren't long of following, poor soul, and her share of peace come round at last.”

      Joe's blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed first one of them, and then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable manner, with the round knob on the top of the poker.

      “It were but lonesome then,” said Joe, “living here alone, and I got acquainted with your sister. Now, Pip,”-Joe looked firmly at me as if he knew I was not going to agree with him;-“your sister is a fine figure of a woman.”

      I could not help looking at the fire, in an obvious state of doubt.

      “Whatever family opinions, or whatever the world's opinions, on that subject may be, Pip, your sister is,” Joe tapped the top bar with the poker after every word following, “a-fine-figure – of – a – woman!”

      I could think of nothing better to say than “I am glad you think so, Joe.”

      “So am I,” returned Joe, catching me up. “I am glad I think so, Pip. A little redness or a little matter of Bone, here or there, what does it signify to Me?”

      I sagaciously observed, if it didn't signify to him, to whom did it signify?

      “Certainly!” assented Joe. “That's it. You're right, old chap! When I got acquainted with your sister, it were the talk how she was bringing you up by hand. Very kind of her too, all the folks said, and I said, along with all the folks. As to you,” Joe pursued with a countenance expressive of seeing something very nasty indeed, “if you could have been aware how small and flabby and mean you was, dear me, you'd have formed the most contemptible opinion of yourself!”

      Not exactly relishing this, I said, “Never mind me, Joe.”

      “But I did mind you, Pip,” he returned with tender simplicity. “When I offered to your sister to keep company, and to be asked in church at such times as she was willing and ready to come to the