Who Fears Death. Ннеди Окорафор
the many ways I could hurt that man.
I considered ripping the gold chain from my waist and spitting the stone in the garbage, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Somewhere along the way, these two items had become part of my identity. I’d have felt so ashamed without them. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I was too angry at Aro and too afraid of another visit from my biological father in my sleep.
The next night, I slept only out of pure exhaustion. Thankfully, there was no red eye. By the time I met up with Binta and Diti after school the next day, I felt a little better.
“You know that photographer? I heard all his nails had fallen off,” Diti said, playfully rolling her diamond in her mouth as she spoke.
“So?” I said, leaning against the school wall.
“So that’s disgusting!” Binta snapped. “What kind of man is that?”
“Where’s Luyu?” I asked, changing the subject.
Diti giggled. “She’s probably with Kasie. Or Gwan.”
“I swear, Luyu will fetch the highest bride price,” Binta said.
Had any of these boys tried to touch Luyu? “What of Calculus?” I asked.
Calculus was Luyu’s favorite. He was also the boy who scored highest in math class. All three of my friends had several suitors, Luyu having the most, then Diti. Binta refused to talk to any of hers. We were still chatting when Luyu came around the corner. There were dark circles under her eyes and she walked bent forward.
“Luyu!” Diti screamed. “What happened?!”
Binta started crying, grabbing Luyu’s hand.
“Sit her down!” I shouted. Luyu’s hands shook as they made and unmade fists. Then her face squeezed and she shrieked in pain.
“I’ll go get someone,” Binta said jumping up.
“No!” Luyu managed to say. “Don’t!”
“What happened?” I said.
The three of us crouched around her. Luyu stared at me with wide hollow eyes. “You … you might know,” she said to me. “Something’s wrong with me. I think I’m cursed.”
“What do you …?”
“I was with Calculus.” She paused. “… at the tree with the bushes around it.”
We all nodded. It was where students went for privacy.
Luyu smiled despite herself. “I’m not like you three. Well, maybe Diti will understand.” Binta reached into her satchel and handed Luyu a bottle of water. Luyu took a sip. Then she spoke with a rage I didn’t know she was capable of. “I tried, but I enjoy it,” she said. “I’ve always enjoyed it! Why shouldn’t I?”
“Luyu what …” Diti began to say.
“Kissing, touching, intercourse,” Luyu said, looking at Diti. “You know it. It’s good. We learned that early.” She looked at Binta. “It’s good when it’s right. I know that no man is to touch us now, and I tried!” I took her hand. She snatched it away.
“I’ve tried for three years. Then Gwan came one day and I let him kiss me. It was good but then it was bad. It … made me hurt! Who did this to me? No one can just …” she was breathing too heavily. “Soon we’ll be eighteen, fully fledged adults! Why wait until marriage to enjoy what Ani gave me! Whatever the curse, I wanted to break it. I’ve been trying … Today it felt like I was going to die. Calculus refused to continue …” She looked beyond me, and screamed, “Look at him!”
We all turned to see Calculus standing behind the schoolyard fence. He quickly started walking away. “I’m not going to be the one who kills you!” he shouted.
“Ani will make your penis curl!” Luyu shouted.
“Luyu!” Diti screeched.
“I don’t care,” Luyu said, looking away.
“It’ll pass,” I said. “You’ll feel better in a few minutes.” It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her like this. That day she walked right past me looking sick, I thought.
“I’ll never feel better,” she said.
“Is it a curse?” Binta asked me.
“I don’t think so,” I said, annoyed that they thought I knew all about curses.
“It is,” Diti said. “Two years ago, I let Fanasi … touch me. We were kissing and … I hurt so badly that I started crying. He took offense and still won’t speak to me.”
“It’s not a curse,” Binta suddenly said. “It’s Ani protecting us.”
“From what?” Luyu snapped. “From enjoying boys? I don’t want that kind of protection!”
“I do!” Binta retorted. “You don’t know what’s good for you. You’re lucky that you aren’t pregnant! Ani protected you. She protects me. My father …” She slapped her hand over her mouth.
“You father what?” Luyu asked, frowning.
I growled low in my throat. “Binta, speak,” I said. “Ah, ah, Binta, what is this?”
“Did he try again?” Diti asked when Binta refused to speak. “He did, didn’t he?”
“He couldn’t do it because you were writhing in pain?” I asked.
“Ani protects me,” Binta insisted, tears falling down her cheeks.
We were all silent.
“He-he understands now,” Binta said. “He won’t touch me anymore.”
“I don’t care,” Luyu said. “He should be castrated like the other rapists.”
“Shhh, don’t say that,” Binta whispered.
“I will say and do what I want!” Luyu shouted.
“No, you won’t,” I said, putting my arm around Binta. I chose my words carefully. “I think juju was worked on us at our Eleventh Rite. It’s … probably broken with marriage.” I looked hard at Luyu. “I think if you force intercourse, you’ll die.”
“It is broken with marriage,” Diti said nodding. “My cousin always talks about how only a pure woman attracts a man pure enough to bring pleasure to the marriage bed. She says her husband is the purest man around … probably because he was the first who didn’t bring her pain.”
“Ugh,” Luyu said, angrily. “We’re tricked into thinking our husbands are gods.”
On my way home, I ran into Mwita. He was reading at the iroko tree. I sat beside him and sighed loudly. He shut his book.
“Did you know that the Ada and Aro once loved each other?” he asked.
I raised my eyebrows. “What happened?”
Mwita leaned back. “When he first came here years ago, the Osugbo Society immediately called him to a meeting. The Seer must have seen that Aro was a sorcerer. Not long after, he was invited to work with Osugbo Elders. After he peacefully dealt with a disagreement between two of Jwahir’s biggest traders, they asked him to become a full member. He’s Jwahir’s first not so elderly elder. Aro didn’t look a day over forty. No one minded because Jwahir benefited from him. Do you know the House of Osugbo?”
I nodded.
“It was built with juju,” Mwita said. “It was here before Jwahir was. Anyway, it has a way of making things … happen. One day, Nana the Wise asked Yere—that was the Ada’s name when she was a young woman—to meet her there. Aro also happened to be there that day. They both took a wrong turn and came face-to-face. From the moment they met, they didn’t like each other.
“Love