The Newcomer. Fern Britton

The Newcomer - Fern  Britton


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the new vicar a once-over. It took all of Penny’s willpower to stay put and not get up to go to look for her.

      Simon climbed to the pulpit.

      ‘How wonderful to see so many of you here today. I suspect it may not be my sermon you have come to hear but, more likely, you have come to get a good look at your new vicar.’ He paused for the laughter. ‘I shall ask her to stand up and give us a twirl. Ladies and gentlemen, the Reverend Angela Whitehorn.’

      Angela clasped her hands to her chest in embarrassment, but stood, blushing and smiling.

      The congregation scrutinised her. Medium height. Very slender. A kind face framed by a short, pixie cut. No make-up. Nails sensibly short and unpolished. She was wearing a knee-length black dress with dog collar, black tights and shiny black Mary Jane shoes. The majority conceded that she looked all right for the job. She sat down and Penny noticed that Robert immediately took her hand and held it proudly.

      ‘Let me tell you about Angela,’ continued Simon. ‘Upon graduating with an English degree from Manchester University, she joined the prestigious Manchester Evening News as a cub reporter. It was there, across a crowded newsroom, a handsome young politics writer caught her eye.’ Simon looked down to where Robert was sitting. ‘And became her husband. You may recognise him from his appearances on the television news. Stand up, Robert.’

      Seeming embarrassed, Robert stood, so tall no one needed to crane their neck. He gave everyone a little wave and sat down again, whispering into Angela’s ear and making her giggle.

      Simon continued, ‘A few years after they married, Angela began her path to ordination. This is her first parish as an ordained priest.’ He looked down from the pulpit at Angela and smiled. ‘It’s only on loan, though!’ Laughter came from the congregation and Robert put his arm around Angela’s shoulder and pulled her to him. Penny shifted uncomfortably, feeling envious. Simon continued, ‘Over the next year you will get to know Angela and Robert and their daughter, Faith, very well and they will also get to know you. I have trust and faith in you all to continue to build the fellowship within our community, and when Penny, Jenna and I return you will have many good things to share. Now, let’s sing one of my favourite hymns, and suitable for today, I feel, “To Be a Pilgrim”.’

      After the service, Penny was still scanning the crowd for Queenie.

      Simon and Angela were in the middle of the church, swamped by a deluge of curiosity and goodwill. Robert stood next to Penny, watching as his wife and her husband played the crowd like rock stars.

      ‘Your friends got here then,’ he said.

      ‘Yes. But actually, I’m still a bit worried about one of our villagers. She runs the village post office and stores. It’s not like her to miss something like this. She’d be wanting to know all about you and Angela. She is very nosy and loves all the gossip but is very kind too. We all love her.’

      ‘Maybe she’s busy?’

      ‘She’d never be too busy for this.’

      ‘I’m taller than you. I may spot her. What does she look like?’

      ‘She’ll be wearing some ghastly hat, probably green with feathers, and she has a distinctive scent of mothballs and tobacco. Oh, and she hasn’t lost her cockney accent even though she’s been here for ever.’

      ‘She sounds quite marvellous,’ he laughed.

      ‘Oh, she is.’ Penny spotted Helen and Piran making their way towards them. ‘Helen, this is Robert. Robert, this is my best friend, Helen, and her partner, Piran.’

      Piran shook Robert’s hand with his natural distrust. He was always darkly suspicious of strangers, and this one looked a bit too pleased with himself. Too tall. Too good-looking. Too well-dressed. And Piran didn’t like the way Helen was looking at him all dewy-eyed. He’d have to keep a watch on this one. ‘’Ow do?’ he growled.

      Robert, used to other men’s wariness, struck up a conversation about the weather while Penny got Helen’s attention. ‘I’m worried about Queenie,’ she said quietly. ‘Where is she?’

      Helen shrugged disinterestedly. ‘She’s fine. I saw her earlier.’ Her gaze wandered back to Piran and Robert. ‘Piran’s jealous.’

      Penny ignored this and continued, ‘But why isn’t she here? Did she say?’

      ‘Who? Queenie? No. I say, Robert is a bit of all right.’

      ‘Where was she? Did she look OK?’

      ‘Yes, yes, fine. Normal Queenie.’

      ‘Will you stop staring at Robert?’ Penny hissed. ‘It’s embarrassing.’

      ‘I’m not staring,’ Helen grinned.

      ‘Yes you are. You are starting to drool. Stop it. Anyway, you already have the most handsome man in Cornwall.’

      ‘Yes, but it’s fun to see his nose put out of joint,’ Helen giggled.

      ‘I pity poor Piran, and Angela,’ Penny said virtuously. ‘As soon as everyone settles down and sees Robert as the nice, faithful husband he is, the better.’

      Helen looked knowingly at her friend. ‘You fancy him too! Don’t deny it.’

      ‘I may have referenced his appearance once or twice, but it’s the inner person I see,’ sniffed Penny.

      ‘Yeah, yeah,’ Helen laughed. ‘Whatever.’

      Penny continued. ‘And Angela is going to be wonderful for Pendruggan. She’s sweet, obviously caring and conscientious. You are lucky to have her.’

      ‘So you won’t want me to send long emails to Brazil about them then?’ Helen asked cheekily.

      Penny pursed her lips, then said frantically, ‘I shall definitely need you to send gossip at least hourly. I don’t want to be horrible, but you wouldn’t automatically put them together, would you?’

      Helen laughed. ‘You are a bad girl.’

      ‘I know. But you love me.’ Penny looked anxious again. ‘We only have a couple of hours before the taxi picks us up. We have got to show Angela around the vicarage, settle them in, and Simon has booked a table at the Dolphin for a “welcome” lunch.’ Her eyebrows twitched anxiously. ‘Would you and Piran join us for lunch? Give me some moral support? Please? And I want to find Queenie to say goodbye.’

      Angela and Simon approached them. ‘It’s such a beautiful church and I promise I will take care of it and the congregation.’ Angela smiled, tucking her arm into Simon’s. ‘It feels such a happy place.’ She looked over to Robert and Piran. ‘Don’t you think so, Robert?’

      ‘I do indeed,’ he agreed.

      Simon locked the empty church and solemnly handed the ancient, heavy key to Angela. ‘There. That’s yours.’

      Angela carefully put it in her small handbag. ‘I will look after it with my life.’

      Walking out of the churchyard, Simon, with Robert and Piran chatting beside him, noticed that there wasn’t a soul in sight. Not a single one to wish him bon voyage. All had drifted away back to their homes and Sunday lunch. He was surprised and a little hurt, but he supposed the morning in church had been his farewell.

      Penny, walking behind him, felt his disappointment. It was unkind. They were obviously yesterday’s people now. Even Queenie hadn’t bothered to show up.

      She watched as Jenna demonstrated her cartwheels to Faith on the village green but Penny’s mind began to slip into a future she couldn’t yet imagine. What the hell were they doing going to Brazil?

      ‘Wouldn’t you say so, Pen?’ Helen was talking to her.

      ‘Sorry. What?’

      ‘The Dolphin is female friendly. It’s OK, as a woman, to go to the Dolphin for a drink or a sarnie


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