The Little Gift Shop on the Loch: A delightfully uplifting read for 2019!. Maggie Conway
like him before and as she watched him, Lily knew this was what she wanted. Because somewhere along the line, between the meetings, the costings, the chats, Lily had hopelessly – and unprofessionally – fallen for him.
She felt utterly ridiculous, like a schoolgirl with a crush, but she couldn’t help herself. She felt like she’d found what she was looking for, her few previous relationships paling into insignificance. So positive was she that they were meant to be together, that the connection between them was so strong, she knew it was only a matter of time. Of course, she knew nothing could happen yet, not while work was so intense. For now, it was enough to know he relied on her.
James had indicated there were exciting opportunities for those who embraced change and worked hard. Lily felt herself being caught up in his excitement for the future, his ambition was contagious. Now that the integration was over and the dust settled, Lily knew the figures and was convinced the future looked bright. She had known it would just be a matter of time – and now, after this phone call, the moment was here. The promotion was here.
She pulled out the mirror she kept in the top drawer, the mere thought of seeing him sending butterflies racing to her stomach. Silently cursing the shadows under her eyes, she sighed. If the weather stayed fine this weekend, she’d definitely try to catch some sun so she didn’t look so peaky – maybe sit in the park. Quickly, she applied some lipstick and fluffed up her hair. That would have to do.
She approached the desk outside James’s room where his secretary sat guarding her boss with her usual Rottweiler tendencies. Lily was met with her customary frosty smile but for once she didn’t care.
‘Just go through, please.’
Opening the door with a deep breath Lily stepped into the room, the thick luxurious carpet softening her footsteps as she made her way to the large mahogany desk situated in the corner. James smiled and, ever the gentleman, rose to his feet when he saw her. She caught a whiff of his familiar expensive cologne as she sat down, returning his smile and nodding to Helen from HR seated beside him.
‘I’d like to start, Lily by saying how much we appreciate the work you’ve done for Bremners over the past year. You’ve been an integral part of the smooth transition. Your professionalism and dedication have been second to none.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied feeling a warm glow of pride spreading through her. All those hours of hard work were about to pay off.
‘However, moving forward we’ve had to take some difficult decisions.’
Lily looked up sharply, something about his tone ringing alarm bells.
‘Looking to the future, we’ve decided to introduce some strategic reorganisations …’
James’s lips – the ones she had imagined tasting a thousand times – were still moving but suddenly Lily couldn’t hear anything except the pounding of blood in her ears. Her mouth went dry with a sickly sense of what was about to come. She waited, hardly breathing, as he carried on talking. And then it came.
Termination of employment. The words seemed to land with a thud on the desk, in big bold letters, creating a chasm as wide as a desert between them. In an instance they were on different sides. Part of the team and not part of the team. Lily swallowed deeply, her mind rapidly processing what this meant, none of it good. She was totally dumbstruck. Not only had she assumed her job was safe, she’d actually thought they were promoting her. The dancing butterflies scurried away leaving a ball of fury in the pit of her stomach. She looked at him helplessly for confirmation. Her mouth opened and then closed again. She thought desperately for something to say. How had she got it so wrong? How could he do this to her?
‘I – I didn’t think there were going to be any more redundancies,’ she stuttered.
‘As you know, we managed to reduce costs with natural wastage and the initial round of redundancies was successful in achieving our initial targets but now we have to look longer term. This will be the final round of strategic cuts and losses will be kept to an absolute minimum.’
He nodded patronisingly as if he was explaining something difficult to a child when in fact, she knew everything about the state of the finances. And they were good. Obviously too good. The systems she had helped set up didn’t need a team of accountants. She had effectively provided him with the ammunition he was now using against her.
Tears of humiliation stung her eyes. She felt so foolish – not just on a professional level but personally. All this time she had been working for him, had he known this was going to happen? Was he planning this all along? She’d thought they might have a future together … She felt light-headed and sick. All she wanted was to get out of there, and fast.
‘I’m very sorry, Lily, you know it’s not personal.’
God, she really wished he hadn’t said that. Because that was exactly what it was. Work had consumed her every waking moment. If she wasn’t at work, she was thinking about it. About him. Everything in her life from the moment she woke up until she collapsed exhausted into bed late at night, was based around her work.
She knew the way he operated; this was final. Now Helen from HR was reaching over the desk, handing a letter.
‘These are the terms of your notice, I think you’ll find them very generous,’ she said smugly. As if that would make a difference.
Lily took a deep breath. As much as she wanted to unleash the torrent of words thrashing abound in her head – and possibly hurl his laptop across the room for good measure – she knew they would stay in her head. She had never deliberately drawn attention to herself or caused a scene and she wasn’t about to start now.
Her pride kicked in. No way would she let him see her humiliation. So she blinked away the tears and, mustering every scrap of dignity she could, stood up on shaky legs. James stood up too, following her to the door.
‘I know this must be a shock, Lily. If there had been any other way, I promise …’ His voice was low and beseeching, almost as if he meant it.
He held out his hand for her to take but unable to bring herself to touch him, she turned and walked away.
Lily was lying in bed on Thursday morning. She wasn’t sure of the time but there seemed to be little point in getting up. Everything had become a huge effort, a strange inertia settling over her.
Earlier she’d listened to the flurry of noise and activity, doors opening and closing, as her neighbours left for work. Like her, they were mostly young professionals but unlike her, they all had somewhere to go. Now everything had fallen eerily silent.
Lily shifted her position, trying to escape the trail of crumbs lodged uncomfortably against her skin. Eating crisps in bed last night in a vain attempt to soak up some of the alcohol probably hadn’t been her best idea.
The weekend had passed in a daze of disbelief and self-recrimination, punctuated by copious amounts of comfort food, caffeine and alcohol. Her anger and disappointment at losing her job, and her feelings for James, were twisted into one angry knot of resentment. Her career and dream of a relationship had been wiped away in one cruel blow.
She could feel flames of mortification simmering within her as she tried to work out how she’d misread the situation so badly. All those times he’d looked at her, holding her gaze a fraction longer than necessary, the compliments and conversations that had peppered their working relationship. How sad that she’d somehow manoeuvred her life into a position where she’d been so desperate for his attention, reading something into it when all he’d been doing was being friendly.
Leaving the office on Friday already felt like a lifetime ago, although seeing six years of work reduced to the contents of a cardboard box wasn’t something she’d forget in a hurry. Spare tights, a couple of mugs, aspirin and a few photos weren’t much. She’d taken a final look around,