The Resurrection of Joan Ashby. Cherise Wolas
you?” and when the kettle whistled, Fancy brewed them tea strong as coffee, telling Joan, “This is what our queen, the queen of England, drinks, tea just this black.”
Steam swirled up from their cups and Joan said, “Isn’t Canada an independent country now? I didn’t think the Queen still ruled there.”
“Well, it’s a little hard to pin our independence down to just one date. Some say it happened in 1867, but the truth is, it wasn’t official until 1931, and it’s only eight years ago that it was finalized, with the Canada Act of 1982. But the queen is still the official head of state, and she is our monarch. All Canadian children learn to speak the queen’s English, and we are taught our table manners by imagining we are dining with her, that she is sitting just across the table from us. For instance, did you know that the proper way, the queen’s way, of consuming soup is by sending the spoon through the liquid, away from yourself?”
“I don’t think I did,” said Joan, unable to picture the way her spoon moved through soup when she ate it.
Joan sipped her tea and Fancy drank hers down in two large gulps. “Nice, isn’t it, when tea is sharp and powerful?” and Joan said that it was and then led Fancy out of the kitchen, down the short hallway, and into the baby’s room, where Daniel was asleep in his crib.
Fancy took long strides across the room, leaned over the crib, her head falling forward, as if loose from her neck, and said, “He’s a beautiful cherub and sleeping so well. What time did he go down for his nap?”
“Thirty minutes ago,” Joan said. “He should wake in an hour.”
Fancy straightened, and Joan thought she must be close to six feet, a good six inches taller than Joan, just a couple of inches shorter than Martin. A basketball player in flowers.
“I’m so glad you’ve got him on a schedule,” Fancy said. “Too many mothers today think naptime is catch as catch can, which is nonsense in my book. A child on a sleep schedule is a happy child indeed.”
Fancy stepped back nearly to the doorway and Joan watched her take in all of the room, her eyes moving from painted blank walls to bookcase to closet to changing table and back to the walls. Joan was waiting for the day when Daniel crayoned pictures and she framed them and hung them up.
“This is a lovely nursery,” Fancy said. “I’m so pleased you chose yellow for the walls. Did you know that the yellow wavelength is relatively long and its stimulus is emotional, so it’s the strongest color, psychologically? A yellow like this lifts spirits and self-esteem. It is the color of confidence and optimism. Living within it will help the cherub’s emotional strength, his friendliness, his creativity. If you had chosen a brighter yellow, it could have caused his self-esteem to plummet, given rise in him to fear and anxiety, irrationality, emotional fragility, depression, anxiety, and a propensity for suicide. Or maybe in you, considering how much time you probably spend in here with him.”
“Yellow can do all of that?” Joan asked. She had not considered the psychological ramifications when she and Martin chose the paint at Olinsky’s Paint & Hardware in town, she had simply liked the shade.
“Definitely. Just think of that phrase, ‘He’s got a yellow streak,’” Fancy said. Joan thought that had to do with cowardice, rather than suicide, but who knew, perhaps cowardice could lead to suicide.
“Do you mind?” Fancy said, opening the closet door. Then she was murmuring to herself, “Nice sheets all lined up, nice clothes all hung up. Nice spare comforter for the crib. I’ll show you how fast I am,” and instantly Fancy was lifting the sleeping Daniel from the crib, cradling him in one long floral arm, stripping the mattress, remaking it, yanking the sheet tight as the navy vice admiral used to make Martin do, fluffing the small comforter, and in two minutes flat, Daniel, still asleep, was laid back down.
She was, Joan thought, a wacky kind of Mary Poppins. She hated that movie as a child, all that officiousness, as if children could not know their own minds, when Joan herself certainly did, but watching Fancy, Joan’s perspective altered.
Fancy ran her fingers over the colorful mobiles hanging above the crib, checking for dust, Joan thought.
“I hope you won’t be offended, but you could use my help. I can nanny and clean, and neither will take away from the other. And I was thinking, if you hired me, I could cook sometimes, if you’d let me. You have a very nice kitchen, and Trudy and I, our kitchen is just a pass-through sort of thing, not enough counter space to make anything real, and I miss cooking, which is a conundrum, I will say, since I swore I would never cook anything ever again once I hightailed it from home. All those mouths to feed morning, noon, and night.”
She was a Mary Poppins, an original kind of fairy godmother in action, now at the bookcase, checking out the novels on the shelves that Joan read to Daniel while she nursed, as he nodded off for a nap. She was reading him the second of Trollope’s Palliser novels, Phineas Finn. Since he had manifested as a real baby, sometimes Joan bent to convention and read him silly children’s books, about dogs and spots and hills and pails, which were stacked in the case as well.
“That’s quite a variety of books you’ve got there,” Fancy said, then continued on without taking a breath. “This is what I would suggest. I’ll be here by seven every morning. And if you trust me, you can give me a key. And if you want, or need me, I’m happy to sleep in here, with the little darling, stay over, take the night feedings to give you some solid sleep. I’ll just need a camp bed I can fold up and put away, or a mattress I can blow up, and a light blanket, nothing more. Otherwise, I’ll be out of your hair when the little one is down for the night.”
Fancy was offering to nanny and cook and clean and was willing to take the hateful night feedings, and Joan hired her on the spot.
“How wonderful. I can start tomorrow, if that’s good for you. And apologies, I forgot to ask you, what do you call the cherub?”
“Daniel,” Joan said. “Yes, please start tomorrow. Is there a list of things you’ll need?”
“I’ll get the lay of the land in the morning, and if it’s easier for you, we’ll make the list together, and I’ll shop for whatever we need. I don’t have a car, but I’m licensed to drive, so if you’ve got a car, I can use that.”
“I do. It’s in the garage. Should we talk about what you’ll be paid?” Joan asked.
“Whatever you think is right,” Fancy replied, and just like that Joan had an extra set of fast-moving hands helping her again.
Fancy was a miracle of competencies, a helpmate in motion, the way she danced around the kitchen, bathing slippery Daniel in the sink, bundling him up in a snowsuit, covering him with blankets, pushing him in the carriage over the Mannings’ land, up and down the snowy hillocks all the way to the property lines.
“Come spring, I’ll help you plant grass, if you want, and flowers, too, you’ve got so much space out there, you can’t even see your neighbors. Once the snow melts, it would be a shame to leave it unloved.” Fancy made the offer each time she came in with the baby hocked over her shoulder, Daniel blowing spit bubbles, his eyes dancing around.
Fancy sang to Daniel when she put him down for his naps, baked cakes and chickens while Joan napped too, or closed herself up in her study and sat at her desk, her hands folded in her lap, the Olivetti’s plug pulled from the socket, coiled on the white painted floor.
Martin liked Fancy too, calling out, “Hello, all my good people,” on the rare evenings he was home early. “It’s so great walking into the house,” he told Joan, and it was true, Fancy kept everything under control. The kitchen was always fragrant, something delicious cooking in the oven, a cake frosted on the kitchen counter, and the baby on the table, cooing in his portable bassinet.
On those early evenings of Martin’s, he stayed in the kitchen, making himself a drink, talking to Fancy, playing with Daniel. When Joan grew tired of trying to remember how writing was once as natural to her as breathing, the typewriter still unplugged, no paper rolled in, she listened