The Warrior’s Princess. Barbara Erskine
you again?’
‘I didn’t think –’
‘No, you didn’t think!’
‘If you would let me get a word in edgeways. I didn’t think you would want to see me. That’s why I came unannounced. I thought that way at least I would be able to see you face to face! I know we are finished, Jess, but at least give me credit for wanting to know you are all right.’
‘All right! Did you really think I would be all right after what you did?’
‘Oh, for God’s sake. Haven’t we got beyond that?’
They were both shouting now, their voices harsh and angry.
Can we stop playing now?
The words echoed round the kitchen.
Jess gasped.
‘Look, Jess,’ Will continued, jumping into the moment of silence before she could reply. ‘I am sorry we split up. You will never know how sorry. And I still care about you. How can someone stop caring after all that time?’ He didn’t appear to have heard the child’s voice. ‘I wanted to make sure you were all right. Clearly you are, so I will leave.’ He stood up. Then after a moment’s hesitation he sat down again. ‘Look, please, can we start this conversation again? You and I have muddled through since we broke up. We have managed to be civil in school; I thought we might become friends again, at least. I don’t know what I have done to cause this fury suddenly. Explain it to me.’
‘You don’t know? You thought what you did was OK?’ Her voice was shaking.
‘No. It wasn’t. I behaved badly. I was an arrogant bastard. And I’m sorry. You’ll never know how sorry.’
‘So you thought you would show me how much you still love me?’ Her voice sharpened. ‘You’ve got a very strange way of showing it. Get out, Will.’ Suddenly she was near to tears.
‘Jess –’
‘Get out!’ Her voice rose to a scream.
Please. Can we stop playing now.
The little girl was close to her, whispering in her ear. Jess put her hands to her ears and shook her head. ‘Go away!’ She was speaking to the child.
‘Jess –’
‘You go too, Will! Now. I never want to see you again!’
‘But, please –’
‘Go!’ Her voice was still dangerously near to a scream. ‘Get out! I came here to get away from you. I left school to get away from you. I thought it was Ash, but it wasn’t, was it. You let me think that! You would have let him take the blame, wouldn’t you, ruined the boy’s life to save your own beastly skin! You’re a coward as well as a pervert and a vicious bastard, and you’ll never know how nearly I went to the police. I could still go, you know!’
‘Jess –’
‘Get out, Will!’ Her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Get out now.’
He stood up and without a word went to the door. For a moment she was too paralysed to move, then running to the window she watched as he climbed into the car, revved the engine and shot backwards out of the gate. He drove off without looking back. Only when he was out of sight did she finally burst into tears.
It was a long time before she stopped crying. Only then did she go to the phone and dial Dan’s number. He picked up on the third ring.
‘Dan! How could you! Why in God’s name did you tell him where I was?’
‘Hold on.’ There was a moment’s silence. She heard muffled voices, then a door banged. Then Dan came on the line again. ‘What are you talking about, Jess?’
‘You know damn well what I’m talking about. You told Will where I was.’
‘He already knew, Jess. Well, it wasn’t hard for him to guess, was it.’
‘But you rang him. You rang him and told him.’
‘No. He rang me.’
She paused, confused. Will must have lied to her about that too. ‘Then you needn’t have confirmed it. You could have put him off. You could have told him to leave me alone.’
There was an amused chuckle at the other end of the line. ‘You credit me with more influence than I have with him, Jess. I don’t think I could have dissuaded him. He was obviously determined to find you. I take it he has spoken to you?’
‘He’s been here.’
There was a short pause. ‘I see. What happened?’
‘We had an argument. I told him to go away.’
‘And he did, presumably.’
‘Yes.’
‘So, no harm done, then.’
‘No harm done except that you betrayed me.’ She paused. ‘I’ve been trying to ring you, Dan. I’ve been thinking about what happened to my sketchbook. Was it you who messed up the house? Was that your idea of a joke? Did you break all that glass and spill the wine?’
‘Whoa! Hang on! What are we talking about now? You know I didn’t. How could I have done that? Why would I have done that? Get a grip, Jess.’
‘It was a joke, though, wasn’t it. What was it, you said? Mass hallucination? You took me for a complete fool, didn’t you! And now you compound it by sending Will here. What are you trying to do to me, Dan?’
‘I’m not trying to do anything, Jess!’ Dan was indignant. ‘Pull yourself together, love.’
‘Don’t patronise me!’
‘I’m not patronising you.’ His tone was exaggeratedly calm. ‘I’m trying to make you see sense. You seem to have lost all perspective. Why are you like this? You’ve changed into an hysterical lightweight. There could be all sorts of explanations for what happened. Have you considered for instance that perhaps a bird might have flown in and knocked over the wine bottles and the glasses. Perhaps it cut itself.’
‘And then miraculously got better?’ Her voice was icy. ‘No, Dan, it wasn’t a bird. A lot of awful things have been happening recently. Nothing to do with birds. Your hand, for instance. How did that so suddenly heal itself?’
There was another pause, then he gave another exaggerated sigh. ‘Poor old Will. Is all this because of what happened in London, Jess? For God’s sake, it wasn’t that bad; anyone would think a bit of rough sex and the odd slap was the end of the world. Talk about overreacting. You’ve cast him as the villain of the piece and he doesn’t stand a chance. No wonder he’s angry.’ There was a long moment of silence. ‘Jess, are you still there?’
‘How did you know what happened in London?’ Jess asked tautly. ‘I never told you what happened, Dan.’
‘Of course you did. Not in so many words perhaps, but it was easy to guess. You decided in your own mind that you didn’t like it; that it was rape or something and it has turned your head! You’ve become completely unstable.’
Jess could feel herself growing cold. For a moment she couldn’t even speak, then at last she found the words. ‘Who said anything about rape?’
He hesitated. ‘Well, rape may not have been mentioned, but it wasn’t very hard to work out what you thought had happened. A bit of non consensual sex! You decided to think of it as rape, didn’t you? You worked yourself up into a tizz over it because you were so drunk you couldn’t remember anything about it and then you decided to play the drama queen.’
There was a moment of total silence as once again she visualised the arm that had held her down. The tanned skin, the fine dark hairs.
It wasn’t Will. It couldn’t have been Will. Will was fair-haired.