Element. Flame of Elisar. Marie K. JETH
was sitting by the fireplace looking at the fire, his face all reflective. Yoos was standing a little aside, silent, too, with his hands resting on the back of the chair. I was desperate. Of course they could guess immediately I was eavesdropping, and that made the whole situation extremely uncomfortable.
“How long you been there?” Truvle spoke first, stretching his lips into a smile and turning to me.
“Well, since around ‘it is too dangerous to stay here’, I tried to be honest.
The men exchanged glances. Truvle gave a short hum as Yoos drew in air through his nose a couple of moments letting it out just as slowly, obviously to subdue some strong language as long as I was there.
“You mean the entire place knows?” I was full of emotion.
“Yes, my girl, they all know about it but don’t know who that was, actually, which is good. The valley is sealed. Goortans are dead. Now all you and Elcha got to do is just never even bat an eyelid. Just live the way you used to.”
The glance Yoos gave to Truvle who was trying to reassure me was too skeptical and yet he said no word.
“We got to discuss it with your Mammy, she knows better. And, Ricka …” Trawl hesitated, as if pondering over something, and went on, “we have to tell you something else. I do not want you to learn it from people on the street…”
“What?” I sat on the bench at the wall getting prepared.
“You just…” he paused, “…just don’t take it too close to your heart.”
“I don’t get you,” I turned my eyes to Yoos who was still silent with a stony face expressing completely nothing.
“There is more…” Truvle hesitated and ran his hand through his hair as if collecting his thoughts. But Yoos stepped in there, “The explosion rolled all over the northern part of the valley and reached… It got to Mount Eagle…”
I felt a chill of some bad premonition crawling inside my chest, but I remained silent, waiting for more.
“The fortress is intact,” he said hastily, “but those who were on the gate and the walls at that moment…” he stopped short and fell silent again.
“What… what happened to them?!” I squeezed out the words still not knowing what they were getting at.
The men exchanged glances.
“They’re dead,” Trawl turned away.
I froze, staring at them my eyes open wide.
“How many?” I said with a voice that was not mine. Tears caught my throat.
“Eleven… And five more are with the healers now. Burnt badly.”
I could not hold my tears.
I killed eleven people! Eleven innocent people! How could this ever be possible? What was it going on with me? This is not right, no… it can’t be like that. Like I … I am a monster!”
Apparently, I involuntarily pronounced the last part loud since Yoos was right there next to me. “Listen! You are not a monster! Look at me, Ricka. You aren’t to blame for this. You had nothing to do with all that.”
I raised my eyes, full of tears and obedience, and looked into his weather-beaten face. As our eyes met, I realized he was lying to me. Both to me and to himself. It was my magic power that killed them, and nothing else. Our lives, Elcha’s and mine, had cost them theirs. And Yoos had known many of those people. I could read lots of pain in his gray eyes. And Captain of the Karun guard could not hide it, no matter how hard he was trying. I could also see he blamed himself. Not only he, by the way. Truvle was biting his lips every time he thought that no one was looking at him.
“Ricka, it’s all my fault!” Nargara entered the room, “and please…”
“No!” I jumped up, driven by anger and despair. “Don’t you ever lie to me! It’s all me! I killed them! I’m a monster! A killer!”
All of a sudden I could see my closest people’s faces get filled with fear. Truvle stepped forward stretching out a hand in a warning gesture.
But Nargara’s cold voice stopped him, “Truvle, don’t even try!”
I looked down at my hands and saw fire tongues crawling along, getting bigger and bigger. I tried to shake the flames off yet they went on spreading stubbornly over the skin, as if sticking to its master.
Suddenly, the room got freezing, and a white frost pattern crept across the floor and the walls. It was approaching me, stretching forward its curls as if begging for help.
“Ricka, calm down!” Mammy’s tough voice ordered. “Ricka, can you hear me, my girl? Please, don’t…”
I took my gaze off the fire and looked at her. Nargara’s eyes glowed somewhere deep
inside. His hair swayed as if supported by an invisible air stream. And only then I noticed that the same was going on with my hair, only my curls were sparkling with golden flames. A flow of heat was running from me to her outstretched hand, and turned into ice as it approached her.
Nargara is using her magic against me, I realized. And as I got it, I felt my anger and indignation taking another surge and kindling the flame anew. It enveloped me all over again, the euphoria was growing and spreading through my entire body.
It felt like it was not me but someone else. All my senses got dull, there was no more fear, and only my power was increasing. I felt fear coming off the people standing in front of me, and I saw confusion on their faces. However, for some reason I didn’t care a spit about it… My new self could no longer put up with anyone daring to suppress me with magic, and it stirred another wave of indignation inside me.
“Don’t? You really mean it?” my voice sounded mocking already as a wry smile touched my lips. “Don’t what?”
“We don’t want anyone else to die,” her quiet reply came.
The witch’s words seemed to freeze me and turn into an ice cube, even without magic. The fire went out instantly, and I slid down the wall, burying my face in my hands.
All the three rushed to me. I felt strong arms take me up and seat in a chair.
“Water,” Nargara ordered, and Yoos arrow-dashed to the kitchen coming back a couple of seconds later with a glass of water in his trembling hands.
“Okay, it’s over, my girl. You calm down, everything will be fine,” Mammy said while giving me a hug and stroking my hair.
“Block it… block the flow, like you did before… Please, do. I don’t want it again!” I began to scream through sobs.
“Can’t do it anymore,” she said softly, hugging me again and pressing my head against her chest, “your source is too strong. You have to learn how to control it. It’s all… All that happened in the Fortress was just an accident. Don’t blame yourself,” her quiet voice came.
I clutched at her arms, as hard as I could, and gave way to my loudest sobs, as if it would bring any salvation from all the horror I had gone through.
The Secrets Long Past
As I calmed down a little and began to come back to my senses, Mammy gave me a drink of elixir. I could not tell which exactly since a veil of tears had filled my eyes. However, it sent some nice warm feeling spreading all over my body further bringing a slight relaxation bordering on indifference.
“Baby’s sleep,” I realized. If taken in a small dosage, it worked as a sedative, while a full dose turned it into a sleeping drug.
They pushed my chair closer to the fire, which seemed angry as it was cracking and roaring at the wood that would not submit to its tongues. The everlasting fire in our home included thirteen logs – seven in the master fireplace in the hall, four in the kitchen, another two resting in the stove on the second floor. That was good enough to heat the house even through the