Chipped blockheads. Fedor Laburchenko
My God, Mashenka! Did you do it all?
Maria nods, looking pleased.
MOTHER: That’s fine! Good for you! What about the kid’s room? Is it clean too?
Mother turns and goes to the children’s room. Maria’s face suddenly changes, and she runs to intercept her mother and prevent her from entering the room.
MASHA: Stop, mom. There… uh… it’s not done yet.
But mother had already pushed the door and saw that the nursery was a terrible mess.
Mother frowned and looked sternly at her daughter.
MASHA (avoiding her eyes, getting angry): Why are you looking like that? Kolya did this. He was meant to clean the nursery and I was meant to clean the living room. As you can see, he hasn’t even started.
MOTHER: And where is he?
MASHA: Where, where…somewhere! He had escaped to the street with his friend.
MOTHER: What Mityai do you mean?
MASHA: Sure, he’s with him. (Sighs.) Mom, after all, it’s all your fault!
MOTHER (surprised, putting her hands on her hips): I like that! Will you explain please?
MASHA: You fuss over him like over a kid, but he’s no longer a child! He’s nine!
MOTHER (smiles and puts her hand on Maria’s shoulder): Darling, no matter how old you are, you will always be children for me. As for Kolya, let’s consider this… creative chaos!
MASHA (smirks): Hmm, it’s interesting! There is no creativity, but there is chaos!
MOTHER: Why not? What about chess?
MASHA: Mom, are you serious? Who needs these chess?
MOTHER: I need them, my daughter! I need…
Maria’s memory ceaased. She smiled sadly, brushed away a tear, and remembered another episode from her life. Here she is, a young university graduate, standing in the middle of a cluttered laboratory. It was her first day at work. Fyodor nicknamed Point Head is standing next to her, he is her fellow graduate who got a job the same day Maria got it.
FYODOR (with his eyes round in surprise): Holy vibrios! And how will we work here?
MARIA (looks suspiciously at Fyodor): How, how… First let’s start cleaning!
FYODOR (spreads his hands, turns to the door): No, no, I graduated from uni with honors not for going through this junk!
Maria grinned. Several minutes passed. Maria was sittinh at the desk with her legs dangling. In her hand she had a big red apple, which she periodically nibbled on. Fyodor walked in front of her, taking objects from a heap in the middle of the laboratory and carrying them out the door. He shot glances at Maria, not hiding his resentment.
MARIA: Why are you looking at me like that? We agreed: you take it all away, I wash the floor and put everything in its place.
Remembering that day, Maria smiled, looked again at the room she had to clean up, got up from the sofa and continued cleaning. A few hours later, Maria stood in the yard next to the metal barrel where she burned old things. Her eyes were fixed on the horizon, where the fading rays of the setting sun were still visible. The north wind forced Maria to grab a long knitted jacket from home; she was forced to wrap herself in it, shivering at times when the wind cut through it.
Looking at the sunset, Maria worried about her brother. She imagined him in some garage, where his loyal drinking buddies sat around him. They empty one bottle after another and cackle loudly. Kolya tries to relax, pretending that he is also having fun, but from the look on his face it’s clear that he is thinking about something else and feels concerned. The phone rang. Maria reluctantly took it in her hand, looking at the screen.
MARIA (before picking up the phone): Fyodor! Of course, who else needs me in this world? Only the crazy programmer from my previous work!
The girl answered the phone, smiling.
MARIA (with a shade of humour): The laboratory. The genius microbiologist Maria is speaking. How can I help you?
FEDOR (laughs): Hello again! Looks like it’s you who needs help, Masha. Are you turning crazy? Have nothing to do?
MARIA (sarcastically): Yeah, nothing! Come here, we’ll idle away together! I just need an assistant.
FYODOR: Okay, I’ll be there tomorrow!
MARIA: Stop mocking me! He will be here tomorrow!
FEDOR: I’m serious. It’s kind of dull here without you. Tomorrow I’m taking a vacation and coming to see you.
MARIA: Who will let you go? Especially now.
FYODOR: I won’t ask them. It’s settled, wait for me tomorrow. You’ll tell me more about your ideas. That’s all, astalavista! Smack-smack!
Kissing sounds are heard in the phone.
MARIA: Listen, it’s cool! I am waiting! Till tomorrow!
Masha hung up. She didn’t take her partner’s playful advances seriously, so she never responded to his “smack-smack” and similar antics. The girl stood for a while in the yard, looking at the dying fire in the barrel, and entered the house.
The end of the episode.
Episode 2
Scene 1
On one of the countless regional roads, which distinguished feature was multi-layered asphalt and colorful patches, a matte black Toyota Land Cruiser of a Pickup configuration stopped. Inside the car was a broad-shouldered skin-headed man of about forty or forty-five wearing dark jeans and a tight black T-shirt, showing his beefed-out arms. On the man’s wrist was a rare commander’s watch made during the period of stagnation, at Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev’s times. The man was holding a smartphone, with which he was trying to call a person indicated in his phone book as Boss. But every call ended with the annoying phrase: “The subscriber is busy.”
The man was nervous but kept trying. Finally someone answered on the other end of the line.
BOSS (in a tired voice): Hello.
SKIN-HEADED (in a drawling manner): Rudolfich, you, like Smolny, are hard to reach!
BOSS (ignores his words): Something urgent? I have no time to waste. Spit it out.
SKIN-HEADED (starts to speak faster): The village with a spring, remember?
BOSS: Well…
SKIN-HEADED: People are charged, equipment is fueled.
BOSS: Did you find out everything?
SKIN-EHEADED: Yes, there is an old farter there and a cunt with him. Right now we’ll scare them a little, and they’ll sign everything like one o’clock. Don’t worry, Rudolfych, they aren’t the first we’ve brought to heel!
BOSS: Be careful, Ignat, times are different now. We should talk to people. Psychology, my friend, makes life easier. Got it?
IGNAT (a stupid smile appears on his face): No.
BOSS (sighs): It’s a pity. Well, forget it.
IGNAT: So what?
BOSS: What do you mean by “what?”
IGNAT: Do you give me a green light for starting the operation?
BOSS: You’ve said it: People are refueled, equipment is charged.
IGNAT: Wow, did I say it that way?
BOSS: No, Ignat, I’m kidding! I’m trying to make you smile. But in vain, as I can see. In short, you better go as you are. Without a smile, you’ll look even more terrifying. I give the green light. Shift yourself to the area. If something or someone is in the way, bring them down to hell.
IGNAT: So, it’s