Sexual Performance Anxiety: 10 steps to beat it!. Larisa Pletneva
need to look into the mechanism of erection.
How Erection Works
I suppose you’ve already read and seen tons of erection-related publications and pictures, but I’m going to tell you something that can be rarely found in popular literature.
What does it read everywhere?
An erection results from the blood flow into the corpora cavernosa of the penis, two muscles – ischiocavernosus and bulbospongiosus – compress the base of the penis and it erects.
That is right, but most likely you’ve never taken notice of the first part of this process, which is as follows:
Before the deep arteries of the penis dilate and their blood supply increases, the smooth muscles of the cavernous tissue relax and their resistance decreases, meaning that in order to get an inflow of blood and, as a result, an Erection, you literally need to RELAX, and that’s the whole point.
My favorite question I ask those who make appointments with me:
– Why do you need an erection?
Ponder it when you have an idle moment.
The word “erection” comes from the Latin “erigere”, which means “to be erect, firm”.
So, if the penis is filled with blood but not hard and firm, it means that the erection is incomplete.
The word “erection” has many other meanings.
“Erectus” means “lofty”, “noble”, “elevated”.
Therefore, to continue the association, we can say that an erect penis is sort of advanced and, so to speak, it lords over a vagina, and not the other way around.
It must be “erect”, that is, quite hard to penetrate into the passive, vulnerable vagina.
We find the word MUST in these earlier definitions, which imposes certain responsibilities on You as the one who has a penis, and it is the must-drive that eventually results in losing erection.
Erection is a very important element of any male’s life; for example, squirrel monkeys show an erect penis not only during courtship but also as part of aggression, greeting, and when they see their own reflection in the mirror (Ploog D.W.,1966). W. Wickler (1967) described sentinel baboons and green monkeys which use an erect penis as an alarm signal to other individuals, warning them against intrusion.
If an unfamiliar genus specimen approaches, an erection is demonstrated to the one. Hamadryas baboons demonstrate flaccid penis for the same purpose.
Some of these genera featured certain anatomical changes, when the penis became particularly brightly colored, enhancing its signaling value. R.E.Miller and J.H.Banks (1962) state that demonstration of an erect penis is aggressive, while the flaccid one is a calming reaction; various genera sometimes use both flaccid and erect penis as a warning, though.
Speaking about human beings, primitive tribes feature similar tendencies underlying some copulation rituals, which become more and more covert as the culture sophistication develops (Roper P.,1966).
Let’s first define if you have a problem at all.
People tend to catastrophize their health problems, especially when it comes to the genitals.
How will we find out that the problem does exist? A real medical questionnaire will help here.
Doctors check for erectile disorders using the IIEF-5 (International Index of Erectile Function) questionnaire, it’s on page 93 of the book.
You read a question and answer it choosing one of the given options, each of which has its score, and then add up all the scores.
If You score 21 or less in this questionnaire, then you do have a problem! But what kind of a problem is it exactly? Is it SPA or something else? That’s what we’re going to try to puzzle out together with you.
How can you tell the difference between SPA and a disease?
First you need to make sure that you have SPA, for loss of erection can be caused by many factors being both harmless and very serious. Further work makes no sense if the diagnosis is unclear.
It is SPA if:
1. You are in good physiological shape.
2. You have morning/night erections.
3. You have erections and orgasms when masturbating.
4. You have an erection and orgasm when you have spontaneous sex or sex with a woman who “means nothing to you”.
5. You have intrusive thoughts about upcoming intercourse and your failing again.
Let’s develop each of the SPA symptoms separately:
1. You are in good physiological shape.
The first thing You should do after the first failure is to see the doctor. You need to make sure that you have no organic disorders. Erection failures are often indicative of cardiovascular system disorders.
And this is very serious!
The doctors to go to are cardiologist, andrologist/urologist.
Be sure not to take any medications to maintain erections on your own initiative.
These are prescription-only medicines that should be taken in minimum doses and for the short term.
But let’s assume that you cannot reach out to the doctor for some reason. Then the following paragraph will help you.
2. You have morning/night erections.
How does this help us? It’s very simple: a nighttime erection is indicative of your sexual function being good.
The hydraulic system of blood flow to the penis works well and erections occur. Your brain is asleep at night and does not interfere with operation of your sexual system, that is, it does not control it.
There is an important point: if SPA has been experienced for a long time, spontaneous night/morning erections may become less frequent and even disappear at all.
As you can see from this table, night/morning erections are the most indicative factor proving that you have psychogenic erectile dysfunction, which should be “treated” psychologically.
3. You have erections and orgasms when masturbating.
How does that help us? All this means that there are no physiological reasons for losing erection, i.e. the problem resides not in the body but in the head.
4. You have an erection and orgasm when you have spontaneous sex or sex with a woman who “means nothing to you”.
How does this help us? SPA is the “stage fright”, you are unconsciously or consciously afraid of being judged. You must play your part giving one, maybe even two, hundred percent.
So, if you happen to have quick sex with your partner or a girl being a perfect stranger to you, your mind is late to react in its usual way, you have no time to work yourself up into anxiety, and the sex come together perfectly well.
The case is the same when you have sex with an “unimportant” woman, for example, a prostitute (forgive me, Ladies of Easy Virtue, for saying so). You owe this woman nothing, her opinion is of little interest to you, and then everything is great and goes well.
5.