Moscow Diary. By An American Living in Moscow. Francesca de Bardin
a big-city girl, I was eager to again live in an international city with all the cultural things I enjoy: opera, ballet, art museums, interesting people, the promise of new cultural experiences, and an adventure every day. Living in the center of the civilizational changes taking place reinforced my decision. Many Russians tell me that I was very brave to move to Moscow alone. I always respond, «It wasn’t bravery. I was escaping tyranny.»
Before making a final decision to relocate, I moved to Moscow for two months to explore neighborhoods and to see how I would feel living there. I contacted five real estate brokers to search for an apartment. Unbeknownst to me, most apartments in Moscow are rented furnished. It took two months to find an unfurnished apartment that met my criteria and budget. Having found something perfect, organizing the move was the next project.
When I arrived, my Russian friends told me that most people 30 to 40 years of age spoke English, so if I needed assistance I should look for someone that age. It was advice I followed daily. My first experience with the kindness of Russian strangers occurred almost immediately.
After I found the apartment I wanted, buying a tape measure was a necessity. I decided to walk around the neighborhood to find a hardware store. Remembering the advice of my friends, I saw three young men ahead of me and said, «Excuse me, do you speak English?» «A little,» they responded. I explained that I needed to buy a tape measure and asked if they knew where I could find a hardware store. They said yes, that it’s not far, and began giving me directions. They saw the worried look on my face, and knowing I didn’t understand the directions, one of them said, «Never mind, we’ll take you there.» We walked for several minutes to the store and they came inside to help me select and buy a tape measure. I invited them to coffee afterward, but they declined as they were off to visit a sick friend. «Don’t worry,» one of them said. «We’re not going to leave you here. We’ll walk you back to where we found you so you can find your way home.» Thank goodness, I thought. One of the men, who also spoke French, gave me his telephone number and said, «Call me if you need anything.»
CHAPTER 2
Challenges and Discoveries I Didn’t Expect
Two months after my arrival in Moscow, the sanctions against Russia began. Suddenly, most of my old friends in America ignored or responded superficially to my messages. Having access to U.S./Western media in Moscow, I could see how the media was constantly pushing an anti-Russian narrative. and any semblance of media balance was non-existent. I never discussed the conflict in Ukraine with any of them, nor did they ask me any questions about life here. I became a ghost to them. It was unsettling for me to lose contact with so many friends, but I understood they were being bombarded with only a biased narrative, and also were probably fearful of writing to someone in Moscow.
My friends in Europe didn’t react this way at all. They viewed the media as one-sided and were skeptical of what they read. One of my French friends actually said, «You left France just in time.»
I now began to wonder how all these sanctions might affect my relationships with Russians. I had learned to say, in Russian, «I’m sorry, I don’t speak Russian, I’m American.» The reaction was always very positive. They told me about their families in the United States, where they had visited and how much they enjoyed their travels there.
Sanctions or not, I decided to continue saying, «I’m American,» and to be ready for negative reactions from Russians. It never happened. Nothing changed. They were always so happy to see an American living in Moscow and frequently gushed over me. They were eager to speak with me in English, ask me questions, and express how happy they were to meet me. If I struggled to communicate, someone usually came forward, speaking English, to help translate. My worries about being an American living in Moscow disappeared. Russians embraced me – not only adults, but children too.
It was a warm spring day and I had just made my frequent pilgrimage to Hall 37 of the Tretyakov Museum to see the paintings of my favorite Russian landscape artist, Isaac Levitan. I was sitting on a bench in a small park pondering my next stop. A group of young students on a field trip to the museum were waiting together across from me. One of the young men approached me. When I told him I didn’t speak Russian, that I was American, he ran over to his teacher and gave her the news. She came over immediately for a chat in English. She then announced to the children they had an American in their midst and they should speak to me in English! A small group of the students came over to practice English and asked me questions. They were open, friendly, and playful. One wanted to know my age. I told him I was 16. He laughed and shook his head. I tried 22, but he didn’t believe that either. We had a good laugh and he finally gave up. We all took pictures and waved goodbye.
St. Petersburg and Moscow are dazzling cities for tourists. Prior to my decision to move to Moscow, I had visited them three times. In addition, I also took the Volga/Neva River cruise to the Gulf of Finland, stopping in small towns and visiting great palaces along the way. I had guides for my private visits, so that I could learn as much about local history and culture as possible. While the experience of visiting a city as a tourist can be rich and enlightening, it’s never the same as living in the actual city.
What astonished me the most, from the first day I resided full time in Moscow, was the kindness I encountered from Russian strangers I would meet on the street or in stores. I was overwhelmed by their warmth, concern, humanity, generosity, and compassion. I remember the many times they would personally take me where I needed to go even if it was out of their way. They would personally stay with me until I had accomplished my goal. It was much more than a kind gesture – they always remained with me to the end. I have traveled around the world and never experienced anything like this. Not only did it surprise me, but also touched me deeply. I was very curious how and why this compassion became such an integral part of Russian character and culture. I began to notice that their compassion brought out the best in me. I felt embraced here and I returned the embrace.
CHAPTER 3
Russians Are «We» Not «I» Oriented
It seemed that every day a Muscovite was aiding me with something over and above the normal polite assistance one encounters in most countries. I shall share some of those experiences with you throughout this book. It baffled me, and I wanted to learn why these people were so special – so eager to offer assistance, so humane and kind. I began researching to understand the source of this compassion. The first person I contacted was Ludmilla Selezneva, a Russian historian and professor whose lectures I had attended on my first trip to Russia and whose book Growing Up Russian I had read. I explained my mission and she generously agreed to a meeting. Her vast knowledge opened me to new revelations that I eagerly pursued. Not only that, but Ludmilla graciously agreed to review the chapters in this book for historical accuracy, and for which I’m incredibly grateful.
Further meetings and studies revealed the genesis of Russia’s «we» culture – customs and behaviors that intertwined and reinforced each other over centuries of history.
Deep faith and common values are nurtured by the fundamental teachings of the Russian Orthodox Church. Prince Vladimir adopted the Orthodox faith from Constantinople in 988 which introduced cultural influences that profoundly affected the Russian consciousness. Orthodoxy had a major impact on politics, art, and nearly every other aspect of Russia’s culture. The church affected the thought patterns and motivations of a whole culture and changed the way Russians thought about themselves and the ways that they lived their lives. Orthodoxy was the spiritual and moral core of society. It helped shape the character of the Russian people, their cultural traditions, ethical norms, and aesthetic ideals.
The Orthodox Church also played a role in developing laws and had a strong influence on international relations. The church acted as a unifying factor for the Russian nation with its shared traditions and holidays. Russians feel a strong sense of community with one another through