Coffee Stained Pages. Volume 1. Лилла Сомн
in spirit and body peasant women and hard workers. But for some reason this not-magic didn't work with Ami.
Can’t say she abandoned the attempts. Although nothing could be cut out of the grown-out part, persistent methodical attempts to tear it into shreds and sew it together in a new way were periodically renewed.
That’s why Ami tried to “show herself off” as little as possible and to catch the eye of her family, disappearing into thin air at work or, if she was really lucky, on a business trip, and at her favourite secluded edge.
Under this delightful starry sky, among the trees and on the moss-smelling earth. Isn’t it a wonder.
Not to pretend ‘normal’ anymore. Not trying to hide or to please someone. This is probably only possible in communication with nature.
Everything is easy. Just wander aimlessly and sing along with the voices in your head. The forest did not demand you to change, to behave, to be ‘as you should be’ so that “they wouldn’t be ashamed in front of the neighbours”, “make an effort”, “stop being a bungler”.
The just forest smelled wonderful and looked wonderful. May it always be as easy as that? They must move to a Forest some day. Forest has food and answers to almost everything. Perhaps she’ll move here after all. None of the cities like her.
Maybe she can travel to the Ocean. Some maps say there’s a real unimaginably huge Ocean on the other side of the Forest! Imagine! No, you can’t.
She could even go looking for elves on her way. She’s never seen them ever in her life, but would really like to.
They say elves rush past here on their unknown business.
… Well. Coming back to now. The ghouls are with this damned appointment. Let it be.
Who is she trying to cheat? She will gladly get away from here again. Even being indifferent and powerless. Even if it's not for a long time. She will just go, just because. Whatever. Even for appearance's sake. Just go there and come back with a dejected look: “I didn’t succeed again. It is fine.”
It’s not Prime, may it all be overgrown with grit!..
… Damn Mother Universe with her stupid manner of care, feeding us not with something “tasty” we want, but something that corresponds to her perverted ideas about “healthy”…
…but “it is fine” again…
Wait. What if someone else is sent to Omill instead of Ami? Ha-ha. And ha. Who? There are no other weak-minded people in the area.
Everyone has business in their houses and plots, fields, families. No one wants to mess with these “helpless, clueless, stupid” witches. Nobody wants to adapt to new people, new language, new circumstances, new everything, no one wants to look ridiculous, feel the lack of the usual and necessary and the abundance of the incomprehensible. It’s a daily basis for Ami.
It’s a daily basis here and there that no one bothers to tell you about it, but everyone is sincerely perplexed when you act differently. It’s a daily basis of you saying and doing something weird. It’s a daily basis you suddenly become a tiresome troublemaker, when you didn’t mean it and have no clue what part of your speech or deeds is a trigger. If she knew, maybe if not avoid, but she could use it somehow. But even asking and analysing didn’t help. She just didn’t see something common between the cases.
It’s a strange world, and maybe it’s a cursed gift to be a stranger anywhere in it.
Maybe.
So… Although her candidacy had not yet been officially approved, it was clear from the faces of her colleagues that they were relieved that it almost happened. In this situation, Ami was the invincible Stella the Clayhand. With whom no one fights.
The first night lights appeared above the edge of the forest. If you sit a little longer, you can see how shining stars float into the sky on trails with a haze between them.
Wait? Really?
Perhaps it’s better this way, she doesn't want to come home. Barely only managed to calm down, too weak to repel the attacks of her nosy loving family.
I didn’t want to listen again to the story about the complication with the repair due to the presence of her developed egoism and the lack of her not particularly skilful hands, la-di-da. The statement of the fact that she is hiding at work, and also, if she is sent somewhere again, then most likely she will return to the beginning of a new stage of construction and so on, and so on. We all know that diligent passive-aggressively shirking is the best way to go. What did they expect from a careless mistress?
And she was totally satisfied with the look and size of the house and her room; expanding the space and increasing their family was also not part of her plans and would even be an extremely undesirable event for many reasons. The house itself was strong, stood strong and only needed cosmetic repairs.
There are much more interesting things in this life. So, whoever requires it, let them do this useless work.
And Amelia had to wait until everyone fell asleep. Good thing kantinians went to bed traditionally early, because in the morning most had a new day of work in the fields and gathering in the forest.
On the other hand, Ami's habits did not exempt her from getting up early for work with everyone else. May the ghouls in the swamps gnaw at those who came up with this routine that was so deadly for the body.
Well. It’s not the first time she has anxious insomnia. And not the last one.
She will survive. Like she did before. Until she wouldn’t. Then she wouldn't. Why try to fight the inevitable?
My eternally alert anxious mind, pray tell me what else you have in store? Let’s pour it out.
… Our superiors decide that the witches have come up with yet another stupidity, and they shouldn't pay attention to this, nor to follow their lead.
Or they will suddenly find out that there are not enough people here in the Department. And they definitely need this useless one here.
Or the Omillians will finally understand that working with an ignoramus is of no interest to them.
And?
…
… That’s all you can say? I waited for more.
Great. Come what may. Everything is equally pointless.
Amelia smirked vindictively at invisible Fate, demonstrating with her whole appearance that nothing would be able to disappoint her anymore. She would like to hope this is undoubtedly the bottom. And there’s nowhere further to fall.
Okay, it was simply ineffective and useless to panic and freak herself out. Have to keep her mind and hands busy. We can start packing things. What could be an equally sweetly soothing continuation. It feels like an escape. And this is just what we require. Even if the authorities don’t plan us to move to Omill tomorrow.
Anyway, it’s time to finally go home and have some sleep.
The servicewoman stood up abruptly and reluctantly walked towards her dwelling. All the moons were hidden by clouds, and it was difficult to see the path, but the road was so familiar to her that she could walk there with her eyes closed if she wanted.
Literally. She tried. I only tripped a couple of times. She saw well in the dark.
Although, of course…
… The witch could now illuminate her way. Or stay away from these places.
The Kantinian quickly reached the partly undesired destination and quietly slipped inside.
Luckily, there was no one in the corridor. The tramp exhaled with relief. She quickly dashed into her room, hastily closing the door behind her.
The apathy that had become habitual was replaced by a somewhat malicious and gambling enthusiasm.
Let's go! Now we're talking.
About the feeling of escaping. Without hopes or plans. They all came out. For the very last time. They died with the previous version of Ami. And now… let's