Twisted tales.
but a full-bodied, gut-busting, tear-inducing guffaw. He laughed until his ribs ached, until his landlady, Mrs. Finth, pounded on the door, threatening eviction and mentioning something about summoning the spirits of dead cats. The laughter subsided only with the dawn, leaving Charles feeling drained and vaguely ridiculous.
He tried to ditch the box, of course. He tossed it in the river, but it bobbed back like a persistent suitor. He buried it in the park, but it reappeared on his bedside table, as shiny and mocking as ever. Every morning, he’d wake to find that infernal box, and the cycle of giggles would begin anew.
Desperate, Charles consulted Old Man Fitzwilliam, the neighbourhood oracle, who smelled perpetually of mothballs and old regrets. Fitzwilliam, after peering at Charles with eyes that saw clear through him, cackled, a sound like rusty hinges opening. “Ah, the Laughing Box! Legend says Lord Featherbottom cursed it. No one can keep it, but no one is punished for stealing it. The curse is that the box has to be stolen, if it is not, the laughing gas will kill the owner.”
Charles saw the logic in it. The thing needed to be stolen. It was a societal laughingstock, a perpetual prank played on the world. He left the box on a park bench, under a sign that read “Free to a good home.” He watched from behind a tree as a gaggle of teenagers snatched it up, their laughter echoing through the park. The next morning, Charles woke up feeling lighter than air, the lingering scent of lemons a pleasant memory. He’d done his civic duty, redistributed the mirth, and, for the first time in weeks, he could face the day with a straight face and maybe, just maybe, a little stolen joy of his own.
The Stage is Set, and So Is the Table
Amanda, in her youth, was a wisp of a thing, a veritable sylph, if sylphs harboured ambitions of silver screen stardom. Her dreams were Technicolour epics, filled with sweeping romances, heartbreaking tragedies, and roles so characterful, they practically vibrated with life. She envisioned herself as the next Olivier, but with more mascara. There was, however, a fly in the ointment, a chink in her theatrical armour, and it came in the form of a cream puff.
Amanda adored pastries. More specifically, she worshipped them. A delicate eclair was to her as a sonnet to Shakespeare. Each bite was a tiny curtain call, each sugary crumb a standing ovation. Time, that ruthless stage manager, began to play his part. Amanda's waistline expanded, a slow, relentless expansion, mirroring the rising action of a particularly long play. Her once sharp features softened, blurring around the edges like a watercolour left in the rain. The leading roles, those glittering prizes, began to slip through her fingers like sand.
Yet, Amanda persevered. She saw herself still upon the stage, perhaps not as Juliet, but as Nurse, a role that, she argued, required a certain… amplitude. The silver screen beckoned less frequently, but character roles, the eccentric aunt, the gossiping neighbour, these were still within reach. Amanda, ever the pragmatist, adjusted her sights.
Years marched on, each one leaving its mark like a heavy-handed makeup artist. Amanda, no longer a wisp, had become a substantial presence, a veritable galleon in a sea of supermodels. Her hair, once the colour of spun gold, was now a wispy grey cloud framing a face etched with the stories of a thousand unbaked cakes. She was a fixture of the local theatre, a grumbling, generous, talented old soul. Her backstage pronouncements were legendary, her on-stage presence undeniable. She may not have been a star, but she was, without a doubt, a force of nature.
And why wouldn't she be? After all, she owned the theatre, having inherited it from her father, a renowned pastry chef who, in a stroke of genius, had invested all his profits into the building. The stage was not her passion, rather, it was her inheritance, but the pastries she sold at the intermission allowed her to fund her true love: the creation of even more delectable treats!
The Art of Vague Appreciation
Beatrice Bumblebee adored Art. Not in that stuffy, gallery-going, sherry-sipping way, mind you. Oh, no. Beatrice loved Art with the fervent passion of a lovesick baker for a perfect crème brûlée. She haunted theatres like a persistent ghost, consumed plays like a starving man devouring a five-course meal, and practically lived in the velvet-lined world of musicals, humming along just slightly off-key. She declared each performance “utterly devastating,” “breathtakingly poignant,” and “worth more than its weight in gilded doorknobs.”
One Tuesday, mid-intermission of what Beatrice declared was “a particularly moving tragedy about… well, something with emotional baggage,” she found herself chatting with a bewildered-looking gentleman struggling to navigate the overflowing throng. He was, as far as Beatrice could tell, quite taken with her enthusiasm. So, naturally, she launched into a dazzling, breathless monologue about the current season. “Oh, darling, have you seen the one with the, you know, the thing? The one with all the… feelings? Simply divine! And then there’s that other one, with the chaps, the costumes, and the, ah… you know… theatrics! Positively splendid!”
The gentleman, a kindly soul named Mr. Plumson, raised a curious eyebrow. He’d been attempting to figure out which play he was even at. “Indeed,” he said, stroking his chin. “And what did you think of Lady Bracknell's delivery in… ah… that one?” Beatrice blinked. Lady… what-now? She tilted her head, the picture of thoughtful contemplation. “Oh, she was… simply marvelous! Absolutely riveting! The way she… well, the way she… did things! Truly unforgettable!” Mr. Plumson leaned in, a twinkle in his eye. “And did you find the subtext particularly resonant, considering the playwright's… shall we say… complex relationship with… his muse?”
Beatrice beamed. “Oh, absolutely! The… the resonances! So… resonant! You see, that's what I adore about Art. It's so… you know… arty!” Mr. Plumson, suppressing a chuckle, finally cleared his throat. “And of course, you're familiar with the author's other works, such as… ah… “Whimsical Wanderings in the Wisteria Woods”?” Beatrice paused, a flicker of panic in her eyes. She knew she was cornered, like a butterfly in a very elegantly decorated net. “Oh, well, you see,” she confessed, her voice suddenly small, “I've never quite been one for… names. I just… love the experience! It's all so… so…” She spread her arms wide, a gesture encompassing the entire theatre, the entire idea of Art. “So… performance-y!”
Mr. Plumson, quite charmed, simply smiled. “I understand perfectly,” he said, winking. “One can appreciate the beauty of a rose without knowing its Latin name, can't one? Now, tell me, have you seen the one with the… you know… the… music?” And Beatrice, relieved and delighted, launched into another enthusiastic, completely nameless, review. After all, what's in a name? For Beatrice Bumblebee, Art was a feeling, a whirlwind of emotions, a breathtaking experience, and knowing the actual title would have been, well, utterly superfluous. And besides, “the one with the music” was much easier to remember.
The Sartorial Saboteur
Old Silas Finch, purveyor of sartorial splendour (or what passed for it in Oakhaven), considered himself a master of his trade. He could coax a rumpled houndstooth into an elegant suit worthy of the mayor, and his alterations were legendary. But Silas had a secret, a vexing imperfection that haunted him more than a frayed cuff or a mismatched button: a hole, not in his fabric, but in his own pocket. It wasn't a large hole, mind you, barely enough to lose a stray coin or two. But it was a symbol, a tiny, persistent flaw in a life meticulously crafted and stubbornly maintained. He'd mend it, time and again, only to find it resurrected, a tiny, mocking grin stitched into the lining.
Silas, naturally, attributed the hole to the cheap thread he'd been buying from young Timmy down at the general store, a cost-saving measure he justified with elaborate arguments about the fickle economy. He swore off Timmy's thread, replaced it with the finest Italian silk he could find, and meticulously repaired the offending pocket. For a week, he felt a surge of triumph, a renewed sense of order restored to his universe. He even started humming old tunes while he pressed a particularly stubborn wrinkle out of a tweed jacket.
Then came the day Mrs. Abernathy, the mayor's wife, arrived with a gown demanding immediate