Cæsar's Wife: A Comedy in Three Acts. Maugham William Somerset

Cæsar's Wife: A Comedy in Three Acts - Maugham William Somerset


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have in my wife an enthusiastic admirer of this country, Pasha.

Osman Pasha

      J'en suis ravi.

Arthur

      I've told Ronny to come in and have a cup of coffee. [To Anne.] I thought you'd like to say how d'you do to him.

Anne

      Are you very busy to-day?

Arthur

      We're always busy. Isn't that so, Excellency?

Osman Pasha

      En effet, et je vous demanderai permission de me retirer. Mon bureau m'appelle.

      [He gets up and shakes hands with Violet.]

Violet

      It was charming of you to come.

Osman Pasha

      Mon Dieu, madame, c'est moi qui vous remercie de m'avoir donné l'occasion de saluer votre grâce et votre beauté.

      [He bows to the rest of the company. Arthur leads him towards the door and he goes out.]

Anne

      You take all these compliments without turning a hair, Violet.

Arthur

      [Coming back.] You know, that's a wonderful old man. He's so well-bred, he has such exquisite manners, it's hard to realise that if it were possible he would have us all massacred to-morrow.

Appleby

      I remember there was a certain uneasiness in England when you recommended that he should be made Minister of Education.

Arthur

      They don't always understand local conditions in England. Osman is a Moslem of the old school. He has a bitter hatred of the English. In course of years he has come to accept the inevitable, but he's not resigned to it. He never loses sight of his aim.

Appleby

      And that is?

Arthur

      Why, bless you, to drive the English into the sea. But he's a clever old rascal, and he sees that one of the first things that must be done is to educate the Egyptians. Well, we want to educate them too. I had all sorts of reforms in mind which I would never have got the strict Mohammedans to accept if they hadn't been brought forward by a man whose patriotism they believe in and whose orthodoxy is beyond suspicion.

Anne

      Don't you find it embarrassing to work with a man you distrust?

Arthur

      I don't distrust him. I have a certain admiration for him, and I bear him no grudge at all because at the bottom of his heart he simply loathes me.

Appleby

      I don't see why he should do that.

Arthur

      I was in Egypt for three years when I was quite a young man. I was very small fry then, but I came into collision with Osman and he tried to poison me. I was very ill for two months, and he's never forgiven me because I recovered.

Appleby

      What a scoundrel!

Arthur

      He would be a little out of place in a Nonconformist community. In the good old days of Ismael he had one of his wives beaten to death and thrown into the Nile.

Appleby

      But is it right to give high office to a man of that character?

Arthur

      They were the manners and customs of the times.

Mrs. Appleby

      But he tried to kill you. Don't you bear him any ill will?

Arthur

      I don't think it was very friendly, you know, but after all no statesman can afford to pay attention to his private feelings. His duty is to find the round peg for the round hole and put him in.

Anne

      Why does he come here?

Arthur

      He has a very great and respectful admiration for Violet. She chaffs him, if you please, and the old man adores her. I think she's done more to reconcile him to the British occupation than all our diplomacy.

Mrs. Appleby

      It must be wonderful to have power in a country like this.

Violet

      Power? Oh, I haven't that. But it makes me so proud to think I can be of any use at all. I only wish I had the chance to do more. Since I've been here I've grown very patriotic.

      [Ronald Parry comes in. He is a young man, very good-looking, fresh and pleasant, with a peculiar charm of manner.]

Arthur

      Ah, here is Ronny.

Ronny

      Am I too late for my cup of coffee?

Violet

      No, it will be brought to you at once.

Ronny

      [Shaking hands with Violet.] Good morning.

Violet

      This is Mr. Parry. Mr. and Mrs. Appleby.

Ronny

      How d'you do?

Arthur

      Now, Ronny, don't put on your Foreign Office manner. Mr. and Mrs. Appleby are very nice people.

Mrs. Appleby

      I'm glad you think that, Sir Arthur.

Arthur

      Well, when you left your cards with a soup ticket from the F.O. my heart sank.

Appleby

      There, my dear, I told you he wouldn't want to be bothered with us.

Arthur

      You see, I expected a pompous couple who knew all about everything and were going to tell me exactly how Egypt ought to be governed. A Member of Parliament doesn't inspire confidence in the worried bosom of a Government official.

Violet

      I don't know if you think you're putting Mr. and Mrs. Appleby at their ease, Arthur.

Arthur

      Oh, but I shouldn't say this if I hadn't been most agreeably disappointed.

Mrs. Appleby

      I never forget the days when Mr. Appleby used to light the kitchen fire himself and I used to do the week's washing every Monday morning. I don't think we've changed much since then, either of us.

Arthur

      I know, and I'm really grateful to the Foreign Office for having given you your letter.

Mrs. Appleby

      It's been a great treat to us to come and see you. And it's done my heart good to see Lady Little. If you don't mind my saying so she's like a spring morning and it makes one glad to be alive just to look at her.

Violet

      Oh, don't!

Arthur

      I'm inclined to feel very kindly to everyone who feels kindly towards her. You must enjoy yourselves in Upper Egypt and when you come back to Cairo you must let us know.

Appleby

      I'm expecting to learn a good deal from my journey.

Arthur

      You may learn a good deal that will surprise you. You may learn that there are races in the world that seem born to rule and races that seem born to serve; that democracy is not a panacea for all the ills of mankind, but merely one system of government like another, which hasn't had a long enough trial to make it certain whether it is desirable or not; that freedom generally means the power of the strong to oppress the weak, and that the wise statesman gives men the illusion of it but not the substance – in short, a number of things which must be very disturbing to the equilibrium of a Radical Member of Parliament.

Anne

      On the other hand, you'll see our beautiful Nile and the temples.

Arthur

      And perhaps they'll suggest to you that however old the world is it's ever young, and that when all's said and done the most permanent on the face of the earth is what seems the most transitory – the ideal.

Appleby

      Fanny, it looks to me as though we'd bitten off as big a piece of cake as we can chew with any comfort.

Mrs. Appleby

      Oh, well, we'll do our best. And though I never could do arithmetic I've always thought perhaps one might be saved without. Good-bye, Lady Little, and thank you for having us.

Violet

      Good-bye.

      [There


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