The Daltons; Or, Three Roads In Life. Volume II. Lever Charles James
n’t know them. There are others he treats the same way because he does know them, – very equitable, eh?”
The observation seemed more intelligible to the Pole than polite, for he bit his lip and was silent, while Haggerstone went on, —
“He ‘s gone, and that, at least, is a point gained; and now that these Onslows have left this, and that cur Jekyl, we may expect a little quietness, for a while, at least; but here comes Purvis.” And that worthy individual was led in on Martha’s arm, a large green shade over his eyes, and his face plentifully sprinkled with flour.
“What’s the matter with you, man? you ‘re ‘got up’ like a ghost in a melodrama.”
“They ‘ve taken all the cuti-cuti-cuti – ”
“Call it skin, sir, and go on.”
“Sk-skin off my face with a lin-liniment,” cried he, “and I could sc-scream out with pain whenever I speak!”
“Balm of marigolds, with the essential oil of crab-apple,” said Martha. “I made it myself.”
“I wish to Hea-Heaven you had tr-tried it, too,” whispered he.
“Brother Scroope, you are ungrateful,” said Mrs. Ricketts, with the air of a Judge, charging. “The vicissitudes of temperature, here, require the use of astringents. The excessive heat of that police-court – ”
“By the way, how has that affair ended?” asked Haggerstone.
“I’ll tell you,” screamed out Purvis, in a burst of eagerness. “They ‘ve fi-fi-fiued me a hundred and f-f-fifty scadi for being w-where I never was, and fighting somebody I n-never saw.”
“You got off cheaply, sir. I ‘ve known’ a man sentenced to the galleys for less; and with a better character to boot,” muttered he to himself.
“Lord Norwood and the rest said that I was a pr-pr-principal, and he swore that he found me hiding in a cave.”
“And did he so?”
“Yes; but it was only out of curi-curi-curi – ”
“Curiosity, sir, like other luxuries, must be paid for; and, as you seem a glutton, your appetite may be expensive to you.”
“The mystery remains unsolved as to young Onslow, Colonel?” said Mrs. Ricketts, half in question.
“I believe not, madam. The explanation is very simple. The gallant guardsman, having heard of Guilmard’s skill, preferred being reported ‘missing’ to ‘killed,’ having previously arranged with Norwood to take his place. The price was, I fancy, a smart one, – some say five thousand, some call it ten. Whatever the amount, it has not been paid, and Norwood is furious.”
“But the accident?”
“As for that, madam, nothing more natural than to crack your skull when you lose your head.” And Haggerstone drew himself up with the proud consciousness of his own smartness.
“Then of course the poor young man is ruined?” observed Martha.
“I should say so, madam, – utterly ruined. He may figure on the committee of a Polish ball, but any other society would of course reject him.” This was said to obtain a sneer at Petrolaffsky, without his being able to guess why. “I believe I may say, without much fear of contradiction, that these Onslows were all humbugs! The old banker’s wealth, my lady’s refinement, the guardsman’s spirit, were all in the same category, – downright humbugs!”
“How he hates us, – how he detests the aristocracy!” said Mrs. Ricketts, in a whisper to the Pole.
“And de Dalton – what of her? – is she millionnaire?” asked Petrolaffsky.
“The father a small shopkeeper in Baden, sir; children’s toys, nut-crackers, and paper-knives being the staple of his riches. Foglass can tell you all about it. He wants to hear about those Daltons,” screamed he into the deaf man’s ear.
“Poor as Job – has n’t sixpence – lives ‘three-pair back,’ and dines for a ‘zwanziger.’ Lame daughter makes something by cutting heads for canes and umbrellas. He picks up a trifle about the hotels.”
“Ach Gott! and I was so near be in loaf wid de sister!” muttered the Pole.
“She is likely to d-d-do better, Count,” cackled in Purvis. “She caught her Tartar – ha, ha, ha!”
“Midchekoff doesn’t mean marriage, sir, depend upon it,” said Haggerstone.
“Martha, leave the room, my dear,” said Mrs. Ricketts, bridling. “He could no more relish a pleasure without a vice than he could dine without caviare.”
“But they are be-be-betrothed,” cried Purvis. “I saw a letter with an account of the ceremony. Midchekoff fitted up a beautiful chapel at his villa, and there was a Greek priest came sp-epecial from M-M-M-Moscow – ”
“I thought you were going to say from the moon, sir; and it would be almost as plausible,” croaked Haggerstone.
“I saw the letter. It was n’t shown to me, but I saw it; and it was that woman from Breslau gave her away.”
“What! old Madame Heidendorf? She has assisted at a great many similar ceremonies before, sir.”
“It was the Emperor sent her on purpose,” cried Purvis, very angry at the disparagement of his history.
“In this unbelieving age, sir, I must say that your fresh innocence is charming; but permit me to tell you that I know old Caroline Meersburg, – she was sister of the fellow that stole the Archduke Michael’s dress-sword at the Court ball given for his birthday. I have known her five-and-thirty years. You must have met her, madam, at Lubetskoy’s, when he was minister at Naples, the year after the battle of Marengo.”
“I was wearing trousers with frills to them, and hunting butterflies at that time,” said Mrs. Ricketts, with a great effort at a smile.
“I have n’t a doubt of it, madam.” And then muttered to himself, “And if childishness mean youth, she will enjoy a perpetual spring!”
“The ceremony,” resumed Purvis, very eager to relate his story, “was dr-droll enough; they cut off a – a – a lock of her hair and tied it up with one of his.”
“A good wig spoiled!” croaked Haggerstone.
“They then brought a b-b-b – ”
“A baby, sir?”
“No, not a b-baby, a b-basin – a silver basin – and they poured water over both their hands.”
“A ceremony by no means in accordance with Russian prejudices,” chimed in Haggerstone. “They know far more of train-oil and bears’ fat than of brown Windsor!”
“Not the higher nobility, Colonel, – not the people of rank,” objected Mrs. Ricketts.
“There are none such, madam. I have lived in intimacy with them all, from Alexander downwards. You may dress them how you please, but the Cossack is in the blood. Raw beef and red breeches are more than instincts with them; and, except the Poles, they are the dirtiest nation of Europe.”
“What you say of Polen?” asked Petrolaffsky.
“That if oil could smooth down the acrimony of politics, you ought to be a happy people yet, sir.”
“And we are a great people dis minet. Haven’t we Urednfrskioctsch, de best general in de world; and Krakouventkay, de greatest poet; and Vladoritski, de most distinguish pianist?”
“Keep them, sir, with all their consonants; and Heaven give you luck with them,” said Haggerstone, turning away.
“On Tuesday – no, We-Wednesday next, they are to set out for St. P-P-Petersburg. And when the Emperor’s leave is gr-granted, then Midchekoff is to follow; but not before.”
“An de tyrant no grant de leave,” said the Pole, gnashing his teeth and grasping an imaginary dagger