Soldiers Three - Part 2. Rudyard Kipling
paid.’
“The docthor sez to me quiet one day, ‘Has Tighe there anythin’ on his mind?’ he sez. ‘He’s burnin’ himself out.’
“‘How shud I know, Sorr?’ I sez, as innocent as putty.
“They call him Love-o’-Women in the Tyrone, do they not?’ he sez. ‘I was a fool to ask. Be wid him all you can. He’s houldin’ on to your strength.’
“‘But what ails him, docthor,’ I sez.
“‘They call ut Locomotus attacks us,’ he sez, ‘bekaze,’ sez he, ‘ut attacks us like a locomotive, if ye know fwhat that manes. An’ ut comes,’ sez he, lookin’ at me, ‘ut comes from bein’ called Love-o’-Women.’
“‘You’re jokin’, docthor,’ I sez.
“‘Jokin’!’ sez he. ‘If iver you feel that you’ve got a felt sole in your boot instead av a Government bull’s-wool, come to me,’ he sez, ‘an’ I’ll show you whether ‘tis a joke.’
“You would not belave ut, Sorr, but that an’ seein’ Love-o’-Women overtuk widout warnin’ put the cowld fear av attacks us on me so strong that for a week an’ more I was kickin’ my toes against stones an’ stumps for the pleasure av feelin’ them hurt.
“An’ Love-o’-Women lay in the cot (he might have gone down wid the wounded before an’ before, but he asked to stay wid me), and fwhat there was in his mind had full swing at him night an’ day an’ ivry hour av the day an’ the night, an’ he withered like beef rations in a hot sun, an’ his eyes was like owls’ eyes, an’ his hands was mut’nous.
“They was gettin’ the rig’mints away wan by wan, the campaign bein’ inded, but as ushuil they was behavin’ as if niver a rig’mint had been moved before in the mem’ry av man. Now, fwhy is that, Sorr? There’s fightin’ in an’ out nine months av the twelve somewhere in the Army. There has been — for years an’ years an’ years, an’ I wud ha’ thought they’d begin to get the hang av providin’ for throops. But no! Ivry time it’s like a girls’ school meetin’ a big red bull whin they’re goin’ to church; an’ ‘Mother av God,’ sez the Commissariat an’ the railways an’ the Barrick-masters, ‘fwhat will we do now?’ The ordhers came to us av the Tyrone an’ the Ould Rig’mint an’ half a dozen more to go down, and there the ordhers stopped dumb. We wint down, by the special grace av God — down the Khaiber anyways. There was sick wid us, an’ I’m thinkin’ that some av them was jolted to death in the doolies, but they was anxious to be kilt so if they cud get to Peshawur alive the sooner. I walked by Love-o’-Women — there was no marchin’, an’ Love-o’-Women was not in a stew to get on. ‘If I’d only ha’ died up there!’ sez he through the doolie-curtains, an’ then he’d twist up his eyes an’ duck his head for the thoughts that came to him.
“Dinah was in Depot at Pindi, but I wint circumspectuous, for well I knew ‘tis just at the rump-ind av all things that his luck turns on a man. By token I ad seen a dhriver of a batthery goin’ by at a trot singin’ ‘Home, swate home’ at the top av his shout, and takin’ no heed o his bridle-hand — I had seen that man dhrop under the gun in the middle of a word, and come out by the limber like — like a frog on a pave-stone. No. I wud not hurry, though, God knows, my heart was all in Pindi. Love-o’-Women saw fwhat was in my mind, an’ ‘Go on, Terence,’ h sez, ‘I know fwhat’s waitin’ for you.’ ‘I will not,’ I sez. ‘’Twill kape a little yet.’
“Ye know the turn of the pass forninst Jumrood and the nine mile road on the flat to Peshawur? All Peshawur was along that road day and night waitin’ for frinds — men, women, childer, and bands. Some av the throops was camped round Jumrood, an’ some went on to Peshawur to get away down to their cantonmints. We came through in the early mornin’, havin’ been awake the night through, and we dhruv sheer into the middle av the mess. Mother av Glory, will I ever forget that comin’ back? The light was not fair lifted, and the furst we heard was ‘For ‘tis my delight av a shiny night,’ frum a band that thought we was the second four comp’nies av the Lincolnshire. At that we was forced to sind them a yell to say who we was, an’ thin up wint ‘The wearin’ av the Green.’ It made me crawl all up my backbone, not havin’ taken my brequist. Thin, right smash into our rear, came fwhat was left av the Jock Elliotts — wid four pipers an’ not half a kilt among thim, playin’ for the dear life, an’ swingin’ their rumps like buck rabbits, an’ a native rig’mint shrieking blue murther. Ye niver heard the like. There was men cryin’ like women that did — an’ faith I do not blame thim. Fwhat bruk me down was the Lancers’ Band — shinin’ an’ spick like angels, wid the ould dhrum-horse at the head an’ the silver kettle-dhrums an’ all an’ all, waitin’ for their men that was behind us. They shtruck up the Cavalry Canter, an’, begad, those poor ghosts that had not a sound fut in a throop they answered to ut, the men rockin’ in their saddles. We thried to cheer them as they wint by, but ut came out like a big gruntin’ cough, so there must have been many that was feelin’ like me. Oh, but I’m forgettin’! The Fly-by-Nights was waitin’ for their second battalion, an’ whin ut came out, there was the Colonel’s horse led at the head — saddle-empty. The men fair worshipped him, an’ he’d died at Au Musjid on the road down. They waited till the remnint av the battalion was up, and thin — clane against ordhers, for who wanted that chune that day? — they wint back to Peshawur slow-time an’ tearin’ the bowils out av ivry man that heard, wid ‘The Dead March.’ Right across our line they wint, an’ ye know their uniforms are as black as the Sweeps, crawlin’ past like the dead, an’ the other bands damnin’ them to let be.
“Little they cared. The carpse was wid them, an’ they’d ha’ taken ut so through a Coronation. Our ordhers was to go into Peshawur, an’ we wint hot-fut past the Fly-by-Nights, not singin’, to lave that chune behind us. That was how we tuk the road of the other corps.
“‘Twas ringin’ in my ears still whin I felt in the bones of me that Dinah was comin’, an’ I heard a shout, an’ thin I saw a horse an’ a tattoo latherin’ down the road, hell to shplit, under women. I knew — I knew! Wan was the Tyrone Colonel’s wife — ould Beeker’s lady — her gray hair flyin’ an’ her fat round carkiss rowlin’ in the saddle, an’ the other was Dinah, that shud ha’ been at Pindi. The Colonel’s lady she charged at the head av our column like a stone wall, an’ she all but knocked Beeker off his horse throwin’ her arms round his neck an’ blubberin’, ‘Me bhoy! Me bhoy!’ an’ Dinah wheeled left an’ came down our flank, an’ I let a yell that had suffered inside av me for months, and — Dinah came. Will I iver forget that while I live! She’d come on pass from Pindi, an’ the Colonel’s lady had lint her the tattoo. They’d been huggin’ an’ cryin’ in each other’s arms all the long night.
“So she walked along wid her hand in mine, askin’ forty questions to wanst, an’ beggin’ me on the Virgin to make oath that there was not a bullet consaled in me, unbeknownst somewhere, an’ thin I remimbered Love-o’-Women. He was watchin’ us, an’ his face was like the face av a divil that has been cooked too long. I did not wish Dinah to see ut, for whin a woman’s runnin’ over wid happiness she’s like to be touched, for harm aftherwards, by the laste little thing in life. So I dhrew the curtain, an’ Love-o’-Women lay back and groaned.
“Whin we marched into Peshawur, Dinah wint to barracks to wait for me, an’ me feelin’ so rich that tide, I wint on to take Love-o’-Women to hospital. It was the last I cud do, an’ to save him the dust an’ the smother I turned the doolie-men down a road well clear av the rest av the throops, an we wint along, me talkin’ through the curtains. Av a sudden I heard him say: —
“‘Let me look. For the Mercy av Hiven, let me look!’ I had been so tuk up wid gettin’ him out av the dust and thinkin’ of Dinah that I had not kept my eyes about me. There was a woman ridin’ a little behind av us, an’, talkin’ ut over wid Dinah aftherwards, that same woman must ha’ rid not far on the Jumrood road. Dinah said that she had been hoverin’ like a kite on the left flank av the column.