The Brown Owl. Ford Ford Madox
shall not.’
‘Then leave the room.’
‘I shall not.’
The Princess did not know what to do; he was really very rude, and he was walking towards her evidently intending to attack her. When he was within ten feet of her he stopped, and though he tried to get nearer he could not.
‘Ha! ha!’ he cried; ‘you think to keep me off by magic, but it is not so easy, I can tell you. By virtue of my magic power I command you to turn into a mouse.’
But the Princess, leaning her head against the soft feathers of the Owl, only smiled, and did not turn into a mouse at all.
The Chancellor seemed perplexed.
‘Is that not enough for you?’ he said; ‘I thought I told you to turn into a mouse.’
But the Princess smiled calmly and said:
‘Do you suppose I am going to do anything of the sort – you have forgotten your manners to speak to your Queen thus. I believe there is a fine of five shillings for any one who speaks to the King or Queen without saying “Your Majesty.” You had better pay it, Sir Chancellor, and turn those pages back again, or I shall have you turned out of the kingdom.’
But the Chancellor laughed. ‘You can’t send me out if you wanted to. Meanwhile I shall not turn those rats back, for if I am not much mistaken your Owl there will carry them off.’
It really seemed as if the Owl were going to obey him, for greatly to the Princess’s surprise it sprang off her shoulder and seized the three rats, one in each claw, and one in its beak – but it returned at once to her and laid them squeaking on the table in front of her – but no sooner did they touch the table than they turned into men again just as quickly as they had become rats. When Merrymineral saw this he became perfectly frantic, and tried in vain to get at the Princess – he even went back a little and tried to run at her – but it was no use, for no sooner did he reach a certain spot than he was suddenly stopped, just as if he had run against a wall. At last he became so frantic that the Princess could stand it no longer. So she said:
‘Will you be quiet, you naughty old man? – leave the room or I will send for the police.’
But Merrymineral answered:
‘Oh, send for the police and the soldiers and sailors and candlestick-makers.’
So the Princess rang the bell that stood on the table: a page at once appeared at the door.
‘Send for a policeman and ask him to step this way.’
The page looked astonished, but he saluted and left the room. Almost immediately a policeman came in – for you see there was one always on the palace steps. He entered the room with a low bow.
‘Take the Chancellor out of the room,’ said the Princess, ‘and put him in prison for three days.’
But the policeman shook his head.
‘Excuse me, mum – I mean your most gracious Majesty – but it is against the law to imprison a member of Parliament, much less a chancellor.’
The Chancellor laughed sarcastically.
‘Oh, is it?’ said the Princess; ‘never mind, take him into custody; I depose him – he is no longer Chancellor.’
Merrymineral looked astonished, but the policeman cleared his throat and said:
‘Come, I say, young fellow; will you go quietly, or shall I make you?’
‘Oh, make me, by all means,’ answered Merrymineral.
So the policeman advanced and held out his hand to take him by the collar, but had no sooner touched Merrymineral than he fell to the ground as if he had been thunderstruck.
The Chancellor smiled. ‘I told you so,’ he said.
The Princess was now thoroughly nonplussed. However, she rang the bell again. Again the page appeared.
‘Summon the Lords of the Council; let them come here at once.’
Almost immediately afterwards the lords appeared. As they came in each one bowed profoundly to the Princess. But in spite of their grave appearance they could not help looking astonished at the policeman, who was lying on the floor, and at the three pages who were still sitting on the table – for as they had not yet been told to go they could not depart.
But each one took his seat without questioning. Last of all came the Court doctor, who looked in an alarmed manner at the Owl – nevertheless he took his seat.
When all was quiet the Princess began to speak.
‘My lords,’ she said, ‘I have been obliged to assemble you on the first day of my reign; but the matter is a very grave one. I have found it necessary to dismiss the Chancellor, for these reasons: first, he attacked these three pages who were executing my bidding; next, he attacked me; and lastly, he attacked the law, in the person of the policeman there, whom he knocked down. Now I ask your advice as to how I am to get rid of him, for he refuses to leave the room at my command.’
So spoke the Princess, but before any one could answer Merrymineral spoke:
‘My lords,’ he said, ‘are we, we, the lords of the kingdom, to be governed by this schoolgirl, who is not even a magician as we are? What good has she ever done us? What power is to keep us from deposing her and electing as a ruler one of ourselves?’ – but before he could finish a perfect uproar of shouts of rage interrupted him.
The Princess put her fingers in her ears to keep out the sound, and when the lords saw that the noise was annoying her they stopped at once. When they were quiet the Princess spoke again:
‘What he has just said is right,’ she said; ‘I have no right to reign over you, for I am but a girl. Do ye therefore elect a ruler.’
For a moment all was silence in the Council, but all eyes were turned on a lord who stood next to Merrymineral in rank. He was a portly man, and a great magician too, though his power was not quite so great as Merrymineral’s. When therefore he saw that all eyes were turned on him, Lord Licec, for so he was called, rose.
‘Your most gracious Majesty,’ he began, ‘although you had no need to command us to elect a ruler, we are of course bound to obey your commands, whatever they are. I therefore speak, giving my vote, and I believe the vote of all the rest of the assembly, that you shall be our ruler according to the oath which we sware to your father.’
And then turning to the rest of the assembly he said:
‘Am I not right, my lords?’ and with one voice they answered:
‘We will die for our Queen Ismara.’
Only one voice objected, but as that was Merrymineral, no one noticed him.
So the Princess rose and thanked them for their confidence in her, though, to tell the truth, she had known all along what they would say. That done she said:
‘And now what are we to do about turning this man out? for he refuses to go of his own accord.’
No one could suggest anything better than to send for the Lifeguards and let them carry him off. But before this was done they decided to try to persuade him to go. But it was of no use, for he stood on the spot where he had stopped, with his arms folded and his hat on, looking down at the ground in a brown study, and he took no notice of anything they could do, even though they rang the bell close to his ear. Now he did no particular harm as he stood there, but you see no one could tell whom he might attack next. So they determined to send for the Lifeguards as a last resource.
So they were sent for, and in a short time they came, although they left their horses outside in the courtyard. Fifty of them were then marched into the hall and they were ordered to move the man out. So they divided into two parties of twenty-five each, and they put a rope round him, and each body of twenty-five took an end of the rope and pulled, but it was no good, for he took no more notice of the pulling than if he had been Samson or any other strong man. So the fifty gave up the attempt in despair; the only thing to do seemed to be to cut him