Robert Falconer. George MacDonald
always associated with the boy, and avenged upon him. I must, however, allow that those delicate, dirty fingers of his could not with safety be warranted from occasional picking and stealing.
At this period of my story, Robert himself was rather a grotesque-looking animal, very tall and lanky, with especially long arms, which excess of length they retained after he was full-grown. In this respect Shargar and he were alike; but the long legs of Shargar were unmatched in Robert, for at this time his body was peculiarly long. He had large black eyes, deep sunk even then, and a Roman nose, the size of which in a boy of his years looked portentous. For the rest, he was dark-complexioned, with dark hair, destined to grow darker still, with hands and feet well modelled, but which would have made four feet and four hands such as Shargar’s.
When his mind was not oppressed with the consideration of any important metaphysical question, he learned his lessons well; when such was present, the Latin grammar, with all its attendant servilities, was driven from the presence of the lordly need. That once satisfied in spite of pandies and imprisonments, he returned with fresh zest, and, indeed, with some ephemeral ardour, to the rules of syntax or prosody, though the latter, in the mode in which it was then and there taught, was almost as useless as the task set himself by a worthy lay-preacher in the neighbourhood—of learning the first nine chapters of the first Book of the Chronicles, in atonement for having, in an evil hour of freedom of spirit, ventured to suggest that such lists of names, even although forming a portion of Holy Writ, could scarcely be reckoned of equally divine authority with St. Paul’s Epistle to the Romans.
CHAPTER VIII. THE ANGEL UNAWARES
Although Betty seemed to hold little communication with the outer world, she yet contrived somehow or other to bring home what gossip was going to the ears of her mistress, who had very few visitors; for, while her neighbours held Mrs. Falconer in great and evident respect, she was not the sort of person to sit down and have a news with. There was a certain sedate self-contained dignity about her which the common mind felt to be chilling and repellant; and from any gossip of a personal nature—what Betty brought her always excepted—she would turn away, generally with the words, ‘Hoots! I canna bide clashes.’
On the evening following that of Shargar’s introduction to Mrs. Falconer’s house, Betty came home from the butcher’s—for it was Saturday night, and she had gone to fetch the beef for their Sunday’s broth—with the news that the people next door, that is, round the corner in the next street, had a visitor.
The house in question had been built by Robert’s father, and was, compared with Mrs. Falconer’s one-storey house, large and handsome. Robert had been born, and had spent a few years of his life in it, but could recall nothing of the facts of those early days. Some time before the period at which my history commences it had passed into other hands, and it was now quite strange to him. It had been bought by a retired naval officer, who lived in it with his wife—the only Englishwoman in the place, until the arrival, at The Boar’s Head, of the lady so much admired by Dooble Sanny.
Robert was up-stairs when Betty emptied her news-bag, and so heard nothing of this bit of gossip. He had just assured Shargar that as soon as his grandmother was asleep he would look about for what he could find, and carry it up to him in the garret. As yet he had confined the expenditure out of Shargar’s shilling to twopence.
The household always retired early—earlier on Saturday night in preparation for the Sabbath—and by ten o’clock grannie and Betty were in bed. Robert, indeed, was in bed too; but he had lain down in his clothes, waiting for such time as might afford reasonable hope of his grandmother being asleep, when he might both ease Shargar’s hunger and get to sleep himself. Several times he got up, resolved to make his attempt; but as often his courage failed and he lay down again, sure that grannie could not be asleep yet. When the clock beside him struck eleven, he could bear it no longer, and finally rose to do his endeavour.
Opening the door of the closet slowly and softly, he crept upon his hands and knees into the middle of the parlour, feeling very much like a thief, as, indeed, in a measure he was, though from a blameless motive. But just as he had accomplished half the distance to the door, he was arrested and fixed with terror; for a deep sigh came from grannie’s bed, followed by the voice of words. He thought at first that she had heard him, but he soon found that he was mistaken. Still, the fear of discovery held him there on all fours, like a chained animal. A dull red gleam, faint and dull, from the embers of the fire, was the sole light in the room. Everything so common to his eyes in the daylight seemed now strange and eerie in the dying coals, and at what was to the boy the unearthly hour of the night.
He felt that he ought not to listen to grannie, but terror made him unable to move.
‘Och hone! och hone!’ said grannie from the bed. ‘I’ve a sair, sair hert. I’ve a sair hert i’ my breist, O Lord! thoo knowest. My ain Anerew! To think o’ my bairnie that I cairriet i’ my ain body, that sookit my breists, and leuch i’ my face—to think o’ ‘im bein’ a reprobate! O Lord! cudna he be eleckit yet? Is there nae turnin’ o’ thy decrees? Na, na; that wadna do at a’. But while there’s life there’s houp. But wha kens whether he be alive or no? Naebody can tell. Glaidly wad I luik upon ‘s deid face gin I cud believe that his sowl wasna amang the lost. But eh! the torments o’ that place! and the reik that gangs up for ever an’ ever, smorin’ (smothering) the stars! And my Anerew doon i’ the hert o’ ‘t cryin’! And me no able to win till him! O Lord! I canna say thy will be done. But dinna lay ‘t to my chairge; for gin ye was a mither yersel’ ye wadna pit him there. O Lord! I’m verra ill-fashioned. I beg yer pardon. I’m near oot o’ my min’. Forgie me, O Lord! for I hardly ken what I’m sayin’. He was my ain babe, my ain Anerew, and ye gae him to me yersel’. And noo he’s for the finger o’ scorn to pint at; an ootcast an’ a wan’erer frae his ain country, an’ daurna come within sicht o’ ‘t for them ‘at wad tak’ the law o’ ‘m. An’ it’s a’ drink—drink an’ ill company! He wad hae dune weel eneuch gin they wad only hae latten him be. What for maun men be aye drink-drinkin’ at something or ither? I never want it. Eh! gin I war as young as whan he was born, I wad be up an’ awa’ this verra nicht to luik for him. But it’s no use me tryin’ ‘t. O God! ance mair I pray thee to turn him frae the error o’ ‘s ways afore he goes hence an’ isna more. And O dinna lat Robert gang efter him, as he’s like eneuch to do. Gie me grace to haud him ticht, that he may be to the praise o’ thy glory for ever an’ ever. Amen.’
Whether it was that the weary woman here fell asleep, or that she was too exhausted for further speech, Robert heard no more, though he remained there frozen with horror for some minutes after his grandmother had ceased. This, then, was the reason why she would never speak about his father! She kept all her thoughts about him for the silence of the night, and loneliness with the God who never sleeps, but watches the wicked all through the dark. And his father was one of the wicked! And God was against him! And when he died he would go to hell! But he was not dead yet: Robert was sure of that. And when he grew a man, he would go and seek him, and beg him on his knees to repent and come back to God, who would forgive him then, and take him to heaven when he died. And there he would be good, and good people would love him.
Something like this passed through the boy’s mind ere he moved to creep from the room, for his was one of those natures which are active in the generation of hope. He had almost forgotten what he came there for; and had it not been that he had promised Shargar, he would have crept back to his bed and left him to bear his hunger as best he could. But now, first his right hand, then his left knee, like any other quadruped, he crawled to the door, rose only to his knees to open it, took almost a minute to the operation, then dropped and crawled again, till he had passed out, turned, and drawn the door to, leaving it slightly ajar. Then it struck him awfully that the same terrible passage must be gone through again. But he rose to his feet, for he had no shoes on, and there was little danger of making any noise, although it was pitch dark—he knew the house so well. With gathering courage, he felt his way to the kitchen, and there groped about; but he could find nothing beyond a few quarters of oat-cake, which, with a mug of water, he proceeded to carry up to Shargar in the garret.
When he reached the kitchen door, he was struck with amazement and for a moment with fresh fear. A light was shining into the transe