The Disagreeable Woman. Alger Horatio Jr.
Woman,'" I made answer.
"I don't know. She is not beautiful, certainly, nor attractive, but I don't think she is as ill-natured as she appears."
"Is this conjecture on your part?"
"Not wholly. Did you notice the young woman who sat on her left?"
"Yes."
"We know her as the young woman from Macy's. Well, a month since she was sick for a week, and unable to pay her board. She occupies a hall bed-room on the upper floor. Miss Blagden guessed her trouble, and as she left the table on Saturday night put into her hands an envelope without a word. When it was opened it proved to contain ten dollars, sufficient to pay two weeks' board."
"Come, there seems to be something human about the Disagreeable Woman."
"Just so. To us it was a revelation. But she would not allow herself to be thanked."
"That last piece of information interests me. My office practise at present is very limited, and I find my small capital going fast. I may need the good office of Miss Blagden."
"I hope not, but I must leave you. My employers have sent me an orchestra ticket to Palmer's theatre."
"I hope you will enjoy yourself."
So we parted company. I went to my office, and spent a part of the evening in searching among my medical books for some light on a case that had baffled me. But from time to time my attention was distracted by thoughts of the Disagreeable Woman.
CHAPTER III.
PROF. POPPENDORF
Dinner was nearly over. The dessert had been succeeded by a dish of withered russet apples, when Mrs. Gray, leaning forward a little, said: "If the boarders will kindly remain a short time, Prof. Poppendorf has an interesting communication to make."
The learned professor cleared his throat, removed his goggles for an instant, and after wiping them carefully with a red silk handkerchief, replaced them on a nose of large proportions.
"My friends," he said, "on Thursday next I am to deliver a lecture at Schiller Hall, on Second Avenue, and I hope I may have the honor of seeing you all present. The tickets are fifty cents."
"May I ask the subject of your lecture, Professor?" asked Mrs. Wyman, with an appearance of interest.
"I shall lecture on 'The Material and the Immaterial,'" answered the Professor, in a deep bass voice.
The boarders looked puzzled. The announcement of the subject did not seem to excite interest.
"Shall you treat the subject in a popular manner, Prof. Poppendorf?" asked the Disagreeable Woman, in a tone that did not necessarily suggest sarcasm.
Prof. Poppendorf seemed puzzled.
"I do not know!" he answered, "if it will be popular—I hope it will be instructive."
"Will there be any jokes in it, Professor?" asked Sam Lindsay, a vocalist from an uptown Dime Museum.
"Jokes!" repeated the Professor, evidently scandalized. "It would not be appropriate. The subject is metaphysical. If you want jokes you must go to the variety theatre."
"True," said Lindsay, "or to the Dime Museums. We've got a man at our place who will make you split your sides laughing."
"I have here some tickets," continued the Professor, "some tickets which I shall be glad to dispose of in advance," and he drew out a package of perhaps twenty-five. "Miss Blagden, I hope you will patronize me."
"You may give me two," said the Disagreeable Woman, drawing a dollar bill from her pocket, and passing it to the Professor.
"You take two tickets?" said Mrs. Wyman, with a knowing smile. "I suppose there is a gentleman in the case."
"You are mistaken," said the Disagreeable Woman, quietly.
"You don't want both tickets for yourself, surely?"
"No, I shall use neither of them."
"You will give them away, then?"
"I do not think so."
"Why, then—"
"Why then do I buy them? Out of compliment to our friend, Prof. Poppendorf, who, I hope, will win a success."
"I thank you," said the Professor, "but I should be glad to have you honor my lecture with your presence."
"I feel no particular interest in 'The Material and the Immaterial,'" said Mrs. Blagden. "Besides I am not sure whether I should get any clearer ideas respecting them from attending your lecture."
"You do not flatter the Professor," said Mrs. Wyman, appearing shocked.
"No, I never flatter any one. Why should I?" returned the Disagreeable Woman.
"I like to be flattered," said the widow, simpering. "I like to be told that I am young and charming."
"Even if you are not."
Mrs. Wyman colored, and looked annoyed. She evidently did not care to continue her conversation with the Disagreeable Woman.
"Professor Poppendorf," she said, "will you allow me to suggest something which will enable you to sell a good many tickets?"
"I should be very glad to hear," said the Professor, eagerly.
"Get Chauncey M. Depew to preside, and introduce you to the audience."
"I did ask him, but he could not come. He is engaged to preside at a dinner given to the Yale Football Team."
"Does Mr. Depew kick football?" asked the young woman from Macy's.
"I think not," I ventured to say. "Gentlemen over forty seldom indulge in athletics."
"I am so sorry you can't get Mr. Depew," said Mrs. Wyman. "I should so like to hear him."
"You will hear me," said Prof. Poppendorf, with dignity, "if you will kindly buy a ticket."
Mrs. Wyman looked embarrassed. She had a fair income, but carried economy to a fine point.
"Perhaps," she said, with a hesitating glance at the person of whom she spoke, "Miss Blagden will give me one of her tickets, as she does not intend to use either."
"That wouldn't help the Professor," said Miss Blagden, quietly. "You had better buy one of him."
The Professor evidently approved this suggestion.
Mrs. Wyman reluctantly drew from her pocket forty-five cents in change, and tendered it to the Professor.
"I will owe you a nickel," she said.
"You can pay it any time, my dear lady," said the Professor, politely, as he passed a ticket to the widow.
Nearly all at the table took tickets, but the young woman from Macy's was not of the number. The price was small, but she needed gloves, and could not spare even fifty cents.
"Prof. Poppendorf," said a young man, who was attached as a reporter to one of the great morning dailies, "did I not hear you say once that you knew Bismarck?"
"Ah! yes," said the Professor, "I was at the University with Bismarck."
"How nice!" said Mrs. Wyman, with girlish enthusiasm. "It must have been a great privilege."
"I don't know," said Prof. Poppendorf, deliberately. "Bismarck was not a great student. He would not study. Bismarck was wild."
"Did he drink beer?" asked the widow.
"Of course," answered the Professor, surprised; "why should he not? I drank beer myself."
"Is it possible? I would not have believed it. Fie, Professor!"
"Beer is a very good thing," said the Professor, gravely. "There were not many of the students who could drink as much as Bismarck."
"And did Bismarck care for young ladies?"
"I should think so. I had a duel with Bismarck myself about a young mädchen."
More than one of the boarders smiled. It was so difficult to associate the gray old Professor with anything