The Way to myself. Андрей Алексеев
results of those activities was a skill to see the thin world as well as the dense one. That was an amazing, breathtaking discovery: it occurred that everything around us is impregnated by different energies, everything is alive… I soaked up those unusual feelings of the fulfilled life, peacefulness, harmony, beauty and silence.
“How do you know that? Who taught you?” – I asked Maksim. “I’m a student of Pilot Babagi, a guru famous in India and all over the world. I’ll go to him as soon as we finish the seminar. If you want – you can join me…”
I had a feeling that everything was going too fast. I was concerned, if it was worth it to change my plans so suddenly. The date of our arrival back to Novosibirsk was arranged. Everybody was waiting for us at home… Regardless, I decided to go and we flew to Kathmandu with Maksim right from Sri-Lanka.
At night, we made it to ashram, situated in the mountains, and got settled in a room without much in terms of accomodations. Inside that place, there were many people from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, India, and other countries all over the world. Everyone was wearing Indian national clothes, looked and acted absolutely not like European people do. Dense smell of incense, unclear rituals, mantras spoken in an unknown language… Frankly, I felt a bit afraid of everything that happened around me. I didn’t understand where I was, who all of those people were, and what was happening.
We came to Babagi, said hello, and went away. But the feeling that there was something too strange and, I’d say, too extreme for me, stayed with me.
When the next morning came I got to the same place with the teacher and all of those people, surrounding him, all of a sudden, I felt an amazing feeling…
ENDLESS, UNIVERSAL PEACE, AND SO MUCH LOVE AT THE SAME TIME!
IT WAS A STATE OF BEING I HAD NEVER KNOW, WHEN YOU WANT NOTHING, EVERYTHING IS ALREADY GOOD, THE WORLD IS GREAT! THE STATE OF BEING ABSOLUTELY HAPPY RIGHT NOW WITH WHATEVER YOU HAVE AT THE MOMENT.
That day there was a Shivaratri holiday in ashram, and many different events happened. And we were about to spend the night next to the fire surrounded by nature.
Nights are always freezing in the Nepal mountains. So, here I am: sitting, freezing, and thinking that it’d be nice to move to a warm place. But then another idea came to my mind: “why don’t I try to ask Babagi for help? If he really is such a great master, he will warm me up and support me in that little challenge.” I mentally asked him to help me – to open the inner fire to me.
I felt better immediately. I decided to check my feelings – and put the jacket off. It was really cold, but I wasn’t feeling frozen wearing a T‑shirt only. I was sitting for over 2 hours that way, and I felt warm all of that time. And it was that inner fire that warmed me up – the inner feelings, unknown to me before.
In the morning, we came to the teacher. There were many people surrounding him, but suddenly Babagi looked at me and said: “Are you feeling warm now?” “Yes, I am” – I answered, understanding that this person is able to communicate with me even that way, without words and at a distance.
I wanted to know more about the teacher, about the knowledge he shares. I listened to Babagi and other people’s stories about him carefully. I felt a strong and pure power emanated from him. Everything I found out about the teacher showed that the person in front of me was a man of a high level of sense, a great master. My own feelings and his life story confirmed that.
I saw his attitude to people, animals, and nature. There was a lot of love in his actions and his behavior. That absolute love that I was struggling to find all over the world. He didn’t ask anyone for money, didn’t tell who and what people should do. Everything seemed to be happening on its own and the best way it could.
“Don’t seek the happiness outside” – Babagi used to repeat. “Don’t seek God in religions, and your joy and calmness – in other people. Everything that you are looking for outside is actually there – inside of you”.
After arriving back home in Novosibirsk, I understood: that’s it, my life has changed – completely and till the very end. I’ve found my escape from the dead end I was in for many years. Here it is – my path. It leads me towards myself.
Inspiration to live
There was a wonderful example in front of me – a true master of himself, and I didn’t want to stay what I was. By the way, after meeting and speaking with the Teacher, I stopped my search for new knowledge, there was no need for extra information sources anymore, neither did I need any advice on what would be “right”, or where I “should move to”… I found my way and started by doing everything I studied during Pilot Babagi seminars on daily basis. The knowledge and exercises helped develop and change myself faster and more qualitatively than hundreds of books, knowledge and practices I had tried before.
The teacher said that the main thing is to clean up your mind and body continuously. That’s what I started doing right after coming back from India. I totally changed my schedule: started waking up at 5 or 6 o’clock in the morning, did yoga, meditated, spent 3–4 hours a day doing breath practices, improved my ability to hold my breath for a long time. After about a month, I could hold my breath for 4 minutes at first, and for more than 5 minutes later on.
Thanks to active and consistent practicing and meditation, I got more and more inner freedom and calmness. My happiness seemed to be multiplying day by day. There were many big and small changes in my life. I started making decisions that were unusual for me, did unusual actions, thought in a different way.
I was cleansing my mind, changed my lifestyle, habits, and food. I tried to help people more, cared about my thoughts, feelings and behavior. I studied the ways my Ego showed itself, and tried to find new, purer and deeper, ways to live in peace and build relationships with other people.
Watching myself, I looked carefully at each and every negative feeling, every action or decision which might cause a passionate reaction, or anger, criticism, or pain. I started judging myself more fairly. If I am everything I do, why would I be unfair with myself? Why should I create an illusion of being a person I am not?
THE MORE I WORKED ON MYSELF, THE MORE CALMNESS, INNER FREEDOM, AND JOY I FELT.
Even a small change in any sphere of my life – food, yoga exercises, meditation, or watching myself – brought joy, and filled me up with energy, giving me more power.
I became freer: from business, from former habits, from the effect of the internet and television. I was getting rid of my outer ties, and gathering my inner freedom rapidly. I felt good just being. To feel happy, I didn’t need to drink alcohol, seek entertainment, or listen to funny stories, starving for joy… It was so inspiring that I couldn’t turn out off this way and stop. I felt the taste of another life!
My personal and professional relationships were far from ideal, though. By that time, I had already left my former thoughts about both: business and family, but I didn’t know how to put my life together. Only one thing was absolutely clear: I didn’t want to go back to the past.
For the first time after long years of soul-searching, I was inspired by my life and encouraged by everything surrounding me as well as by everything I felt inside. I allowed myself everything I couldn’t even dream about before: I began playing music, painting, studying new practices, watching what was happening around and what other people do during their search.
Everything turned out to be interesting for me! At the same time, I continued travelling to India and taking part in events organized by Pilot Babagi. I was deepening my understanding of myself.
I UNDERSTOOD: EVERYTHING I NEED IS ALREADY INSIDE ME. WEARINESS, DISAPPOINTMENT, ANXIOUSNESS AND SOUL-SEARCHING GAVE WAY TO INNER FEELINGS OF FULFILMENT.
Though, there was another side of the coin as well: the happier I felt, the less others could understand me. And those closest to me – first. My parents asked me the same questions again and again: “Andrey, what’s happening with you? What are you doing? Are you in a cult?!”
At first, my wife was just watching me, then she started criticizing, and after that she seemed to leave it alone, thinking: “the case is hopeless, my husband is crazy.