Beaumont & Fletchers Works (2 of 10) – the Humourous Lieutenant. Beaumont Francis
you are an old and faithfull servant,
And know the wars, with all his vantages,
Be near to his instructions, lest his youth
Lose valours best companion, staid discretion,
Shew where to lead, to lodge, to charge with safetie;
In execution not to break, nor scatter,
But with a provident anger, follow nobly:
Not covetous of blood, and death, but honour,
Be ever near his watches; cheer his labours,
And where his hope stands fair, provoke his valour;
Love him, and think it no dishonour (my Demetrius)
To wear this Jewel near thee; he is a tri'd one,
And one that even in spight of time, that sunk him,
And frosted up his strength, will yet stand by thee,
And with the proudest of thine Enemies
Exchange for bloud, and bravely: take his Counsel.
Leo. Your grace hath made me young again, and wanton.
Ant. She must be known and suddenly: Do ye know her? [to Minippus.
Gent. Char. No, believe Sir.
Ant. Did you observe her, Timon?
Tim. I look'd on her, But what she is—
Ant. I must have that found. Come in and take your leave.
Tim. And some few Prayers along.
Dem. I know my duty, [Exit Ant. You shall be half my Father.
Leo. All your Servant: Come Gentlemen, you are resolv'd I am sure To see these wars.
1 Gent. We dare not leave his fortunes, Though most assur'd death hung round about us.
Leo. That bargain's yet to make;
Be not too hasty, when ye face the Enemie,
Nor too ambitious to get honour instantly,
But charge within your bounds, and keep close bodies,
And you shall see what sport we'l make these mad-caps;
You shall have game enough, I warrant ye,
Every mans Cock shall fight.
Dem. I must go see Sir:
Brave Sir, as soon as I have taken leave,
I'le meet you in the park;
Draw the men thither,
Wait you upon Leontius.
Gen. We'l attend Sir.
Leo. But I beseech your Grace, with speed; the sooner We are i'th' field.—
Dem. You could not please me better. [Exit.
Leo. You never saw the wars yet?
Gent. Not yet Colonel.
Leo. These foolish Mistresses do so hang about ye,
So whimper, and so hug, I know it Gentlemen,
And so intice ye, now ye are i'th' bud;
And that sweet tilting war, with eyes and kisses,
Th' alarms of soft vows, and sighs, and fiddle faddles,
Spoils all our trade: you must forget these knick knacks,
A woman at some time of year, I grant ye
She is necessarie; but make no business of her.
How now Lieutenant?
Enter Lieutenant.
Lieu. Oh Sir, as ill as ever; We shall have wars they say; they are mustring yonder: Would we were at it once: fie, how it plagues me.
Leo. Here's one has served now under Captain Cupid, And crackt a Pike in's youth: you see what's come on't.
Lieu. No, my disease will never prove so honourable.
Leo. Why sure, thou hast the best pox.
Lieu. If I have 'em, I am sure I got 'em in the best company; They are pox of thirty Coats.
Leo. Thou hast mewed 'em finely:
Here's a strange fellow now, and a brave fellow,
If we may say so of a pocky fellow,
(Which I believe we may) this poor Lieutenant;
Whether he have the scratches, or the scabs,
Or what a Devil it be, I'le say this for him,
There fights no braver souldier under Sun, Gentlemen;
Show him an Enemie, his pain's forgot straight;
And where other men by beds and bathes have ease,
And easie rules of Physick; set him in a danger,
A danger, that's a fearfull one indeed,
Ye rock him, and he will so play about ye,
Let it be ten to one he ne'er comes off again,
Ye have his heart: and then he works it bravely,
And throughly bravely: not a pang remembre'd:
I have seen him do such things, belief would shrink at.
Gent. 'Tis strange he should do all this, and diseas'd so.
Leo. I am sure 'tis true: Lieutenant, canst thou drink well?
Lieu. Would I were drunk, dog-drunk, I might not feel this backward?
Gent. I would take Physick.
Lieu. But I would know my disease first.
Leon. Why? it may be the Colique: canst thou blow
Lieu. There's never a bag-pipe in the Kingdom better.
Gent. Is't not a pleuresie?
Lieu. 'Tis any thing That has the Devil, and death in't: will ye march Gentlemen? The Prince has taken leave.
Leo. How know ye that?
Lieu. I saw him leave the Court, dispatch his followers,
And met him after in a by street: I think
He has some wench, or such a toy, to lick over
Before he go: would I had such another
To draw this foolish pain down.
Leo. Let's away Gentlemen, For sure the Prince will stay on us.
Gent. We'l attend Sir. [Exeunt.
SCENA II
Enter Demetrius, and Celia.
Cel. Must ye needs go?
Dem. Or stay with all dishonour.
Cel. Are there not men enough to fight?
Dem. Fie Celia. This ill becomes the noble love you bear me; Would you have your love a coward?
Cel. No; believe Sir, I would have him fight, but not so far off from me.
Dem. Wouldst have it thus? or thus?
Cel. If that be fighting—
Dem. Ye wanton fool: when I come home again I'le fight with thee, at thine own weapon Celia, And conquer thee too.
Cel. That you have done already, You need no other Arms to me, but these Sir; But will you fight your self Sir?
Dem. Thus deep in bloud wench, And through the thickest ranks of