How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success. Leil Lowndes
her a nod. If she returns your gaze within the decisive 45 seconds, nod slightly. The nod reads, ‘I like you. May I make a reservation to talk with you?’
Move within her range. The final step is to move close enough to her to talk.
You are now in position for conversation. What should you say to her first? Abolish the words opening line from your thoughts. Generic lines come across just like that – lines. After my love seminars, many a shy Hunter has asked me, ‘What’s a good opening line?’ I find it charming that men ponder such dilemmas.
Once an extremely shy chap attending my seminar pulled a dog-eared book out of his pocket called How to Pick up Girls. Apparently he was not the first to seek such guidance. The book is twenty-five years old and has sold over two million copies, primarily through advertising in men’s magazines. It suggests antique gems like, ‘Don’t tell me a beautiful girl like you doesn’t have a date tonight’ and ‘Are you a model?’ This scintillating repartee may have worked when Dad met Mum, but in our more enlightened times women abhor lines. Far more significant that what you say is how you look and how you say whatever you say.
Gentlemen, your opening words should relate to the woman or the current situation. Ask her what time it is. Compliment her watch or her outfit. Ask her for directions. Inquire how she knows the host or hostess of the party. In fact, the less clever your opener, the better, because this early in your relationship she is not metabolizing your words – she is checking you out. Her brain is hard at work sizing you up on your manner and your words. Whatever you say, she knows it is just an excuse for you to talk to her. If she likes you, that is fine with her.
Although you should not memorize any line, do pay attention to the first words which flow from your lips. Just as the first glimpse of you should please your Quarry’s eyes, so should your first words delight her ears. Remember, that first sentence to your Quarry is 100 per cent of her sampling of you so far. If you open with a complaint, in her book you will be a complainer. If you open with a conceited remark, she will label you a braggart. But if your first words charm her, she will find you charming.
Gentlemen, you may be wondering why you have to play it cool. Why do you have to be so subtle, controlled and precise in your approach? It all goes back to nature. Buried deep in a woman’s instincts, when she looks at you, is a subconscious judgement of you as a possible partner. She wants to feel you are captivated by her. But she also wants to know that you can control your animal passion, thus demonstrating what a suave and effective partner you would be in life.
Huntresses, Make the Fast Move … First
Huntresses, you may think the responsibility for the pickup rests on the man’s shoulders. Surprisingly enough, though, research shows that women initiate two-thirds of all encounters.
This, too, is part of nature’s grand design. In the animal kingdom wannabe-lovers attract each other by hooting, crowing or stomping the ground. They are more overt than Homo sapiens are. A female chimpanzee in heat will spot her Quarry, ‘stroll up to the male, and tip her buttocks towards his nose to get his attention. Then she’ll actually pull him up to his feet to copulate.’19 This behaviour is known as female proceptivity. Female proceptivity (as opposed to receptivity) is not unknown to our species, although we are, I should hope, a little less obvious.
How do women initiate encounters? The same way kids do. The same way the birds, the bees and all the wonderful animals in God’s kingdom do: with an attention-getting device.
Ladies, let’s say you behold Mr Handsome Stranger dancing at the disco, seated across the table from you, or huffing and puffing on the next StairMaster at the gym. What should you do? The usual scenario goes something like this. Upon spotting him, a woman locks eyes with him for a split second and then glances away. More courageous women flash a little smile and then look away, hoping that he will then take the initiative (after all, she doesn’t want to appear forward).
As 50,000 tiny seeds blow from a flower and only one takes root, your chances at love might as well be one in 50,000 with Mr Handsome Stranger if this is your entire attack. You must do more than just flash a little smile and leave the rest to nature.
First Moves That Work for Women
Let’s look at the studies and see what works. A researcher named Monica Moore heard that women made two-thirds of the approaches and wanted to find out exactly how they did so. She set up a study where she observed more than 200 women at a party and recorded what are scientifically known as their non-verbal solicitation signals.
Here, in descending order, are the results of Monica Moore’s findings. The number following each move is the number of times Moore saw it work successfully during the experiment.20 Need I spell it out? Huntresses, these are the moves that make a man come over and talk to you at a party.
| How Women Successfully Make the First Move | |
| Smile at him broadly | 511 |
| Throw him a short, darting glance | 253 |
| Dance alone to the music | 253 |
| Look straight at him and flip your hair | 139 |
| Keep a fixed gaze on him | 117 |
| Look at him, toss your head, then look back | 102 |
| ‘Accidentally’ brush up against him | 96 |
| Nod your head at him | 66 |
| Point to a chair and invite him to sit | 62 |
| Tilt your head and touch your exposed neck | 58 |
| Lick your lips during eye contact | 48 |
| Primp while keeping eye contact with him | 46 |
| Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement | 41 |
| Ask for his help with something | 34 |
| Tap something to get his attention | 8 |
| Pat his buttocks (My note: not advised!) | 8 |
Sisters, do not be hesitant about making the first move. If you need more courage, think of it this way. Female choice is an evolutionary mandate given to a woman so she may select the best mate and thus assure the survival of the species. You are merely fulfilling your instinctive destiny when you overtly lure Mr Handsome Stranger. Mother Nature would approve.
Still shy? Do you feel he will think you are too forward if you smile broadly at him in the crowd or ‘accidentally’ brush up against him? He won’t, because, happily, the male ego takes over … retroactively. Ten minutes later he won’t even realize that he was not the one who made the initial overture. Researcher Moore said that men think they are making the first move when they