Nobody’s Son: Part 3 of 3: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own. Cathy Glass

Nobody’s Son: Part 3 of 3: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own - Cathy  Glass


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of a similar age to Alex, but I really don’t see that as an issue.’

      Lorraine nodded as she wrote, and then said, ‘Thank you, Cathy. Is there anything else you would like to tell us about Alex?’

      ‘He does get angry sometimes, but that’s only to be expected.’ I then outlined the instances of his anger at home and the ones I knew about at school. ‘But that’s not the real Alex,’ I said. ‘He’s upset at present. I’m doing all I can to help him, but it breaks my heart to see him so unhappy.’ Embarrassingly, I teared up.

      Lorraine smiled at me kindly. ‘Hopefully the referral to CAMHS will come through before too long.’ I nodded. ‘When I saw Alex at his last review it was clear then that he had all his hopes pinned on his new family,’ Lorraine said. ‘Do you think that finding a suitable long-term foster family will help him? He’s never had a family of his own and he obviously knows he’s only here temporarily.’

      ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I suppose it might. I would offer to keep him, but I’m aware of the concern that Adrian is the same age.’

      ‘Thank you, Cathy,’ Lorraine said noncommittally. ‘And thank you for looking after Alex so well.’

      It was Debbie’s turn to speak now. She began by giving an update on what had happened since the last review, including Alex’s first move to me, the introductions to Rosemary, Edward and James (which she said had gone well), Alex’s move to them and then the swift breakdown of the placement, and Alex’s return to me.

      ‘And their reasons were that Alex and James didn’t get along and that James was happier as an only child?’ Lorraine clarified.

      Debbie nodded. ‘Rosemary said they’d made a big mistake in wanting to adopt at all.’

      ‘Some mistake,’ Lorraine said dryly, making a note. Then she looked up. ‘But sadly this is not the only case I’ve come across recently. Last month I was the reviewing officer for two brothers – aged six and seven – who were placed for adoption and then returned to care after only a week.’

      Chapter Seventeen

       Not to Blame

      Debbie continued her report to the LAC review by confirming the changes in the care plan for Alex – that the permanency team were looking for a long-term foster family for him. She said that as they couldn’t find a suitable family locally they were widening their search (through independent fostering agencies) to other parts of the country. This is not unusual and some children in care end up living hundreds of miles from their place of origin because there isn’t a suitable carer nearer. None of us commented. The priority was to find Alex the right family, but I’m sure we all thought that a move out of the area would mean more disruption for him – leaving all that was familiar, including his school. And supposing that placement didn’t work out? It happens.

      Lorraine nodded sombrely, noted what Debbie had said and then referred to her checklist to see what else she needed to include in the review.

      ‘Has Alex had any serious illnesses or accidents since his last review?’ she asked. Debbie confirmed he hadn’t and that his health checks were up to date.

      ‘Friends and family?’ Lorraine now asked. ‘Contact with his mother was stopped in preparation for the adoption. Does Alex have friends at school?’

      ‘Yes,’ Debbie said. ‘But I’m not sure he sees them out of school.’

      ‘I’ve asked Alex if he would like to invite a friend here,’ I said. ‘But he doesn’t want to at present. I’ll ask him again.’

      ‘Thank you,’ Lorraine said, and made a note. All the points raised would be revisited at the next review to see what progress had been made.

      ‘Any complaints from anyone?’ Lorraine now asked. It was a question the IRO was obliged to ask at the review.

      ‘No,’ Debbie confirmed.

      ‘No,’ Jill and I said.

      Satisfied that she’d covered everything on her checklist, Lorraine now asked Jill if she would like to add anything to the review.

      ‘As Cathy’s support social worker I visit her at least every month and we speak on the phone in between when necessary. I didn’t see Alex when he was here before on the bridging placement, but I have seen him since. I think Cathy has given an accurate account of how he is at present. He’s upset and obviously has a lot to come to terms with. Cathy provides a high level of care for Alex and I know she will ask for help if she needs it.’

      ‘Thank you,’ Lorraine said. She then set a date and time for the next review – in three months. Although Alex might not be with me by then, possibly having moved to his long-term carer, I noted the date in my diary just in case.

      ‘I’ll go and see Alex now,’ Lorraine said. She tucked her notepad and pen into her bag and stood.

      ‘Would you like us all to come?’ Debbie asked, putting away her pad and pen.

      ‘No. I think it could be a bit overwhelming for Alex, as he’s feeling wobbly.’ This was sensitive of her. Most children in care take part in reviews far bigger than this one, with all the attention focused on them. They do incredibly well to cope with it.

      ‘That’s a lovely picture, Alex,’ we heard Lorraine say as she went in. ‘Can you tell me about it?’ There was no reply. ‘Do you like art at school?’ she asked. ‘Is that one of your favourite subjects?’ If Alex replied, it was too quiet for us to hear. ‘Do you remember who I am?’ Lorraine then tried, ‘We’ve met a few times before at your previous reviews.’ Nothing.

      There was silence and then Paula ran into the living room, looking concerned, and jumped onto my lap. ‘There’s a strange lady in there talking to Alex,’ she said. Jill and Debbie laughed.

      ‘I know, love,’ I said. ‘It’s OK. Alex knows her.’

      We heard Lorraine compliment both boys on their artwork and then she returned to the living room. ‘Alex doesn’t want to talk to me today,’ she said easily. She picked up her bag and Debbie and Jill stood.

      The three of them went into the kitchen to say goodbye to Alex and Adrian, and then Paula and I saw them to the front door, where I helped them into their coats. Once they’d gone, we returned to Adrian and Alex. ‘You’ve all done well,’ I said. They’d been amusing themselves for over an hour. ‘Thank you for your cooperation. I was thinking we might go out for lunch and then to the cinema this afternoon. There’s the new Walt Disney film showing.’

      ‘Yes!’ Adrian cried. ‘Chicken nuggets and chips for me!’ Going to a fast-food restaurant was a treat for my children, as we didn’t go that often.

      ‘Chicken nuggets and chips for me,’ Paula agreed.

      While Alex managed a small, indifferent nod.

      I’d suggested this outing as being seated in a restaurant and then the cinema offered less opportunity for Alex to run away. It was a pity I had to think this way, but I needed to be practical.

      It was the end of the half-term holiday, so families were making the most of the last day and the restaurant and cinema were busy. Alex was quiet as usual, looking around and taking it in but not saying much, while Adrian and Paula chatted excitedly as they ate, and also after the film. I think Alex liked the film as much as he liked anything at present, but as soon as we were home he went straight up to his room and began throwing things in anger.

      ‘Not again,’ Adrian sighed, and he took Paula through to the living room to look after her.

      Once I’d calmed Alex down and he’d had a little cry, I asked him why he’d suddenly become angry after a nice day out. I was puzzled as well as concerned.

      ‘All the other


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