The Flashman Papers: The Complete 12-Book Collection. George Fraser MacDonald
now.”
“You realize this is tantamount to refusing an honour from the Throne itself? That you can never again hope for any similar mark of favour? I know that you are dead to most dictates of decent behaviour and common discretion, but surely even you can see—”
“D---t, uncle!” cries I. “I’ve got to go!”
He squinted down his long nose. “You sound almost desperate. Am I right in supposing there will be some scandal if you do not?”
“Yes,” says I, reluctantly.
“Well, then that is entirely different,” cries he. “Why could you not say so at once? I suppose it is some woman or other.”
I admitted it, and dropped a hint that the Duke of—was involved, but that it was all a misunderstanding, and Bindley sniffed again and said he had never known a time when the quality of the House of Peers was quite so low. He would speak to Wellington, he said, and since it was advisable for the family’s credit that I should not be seen to be cutting the painter, he would see if some official colour couldn’t be given to my Far Eastern visit. The result was that a day or two later, at the room over the pawn-shop where I was hiding out, I got a note instructing me to proceed forthwith to Singapore, there to examine and approve the first consignment of Australian horses which would be arriving next spring12 for the Company’s Indian Army. Well done, old Bindley; he had his uses.
So then it was just a question of skulking down to Dover for the last of the month, which I accomplished, arriving after dark and legging it along the crowded quay with my valise, hoping to G-d that neither Tighe nor the Duke had camped out their ruffians to intercept me (they hadn’t, of course, but if I’ve lived this long it’s because I’ve always feared the worst and been ready for it). A boat took me out to Solomon’s steam-brig, and there was a great reunion with my loved ones – Elspeth all over me clamouring to know where I had been, she was quite distracted, and Old Morrison grunting: “Huh, ye’ve come, at the coo’s tail as usual, “and muttering about a thief in the night. Solomon seemed delighted to see me, but I wasn’t fooled – he was just masking his displeasure that he wouldn’t have a clear run at Elspeth. That quite consoled me to making the voyage; it might be d---lish inconvenient, in some ways, and I couldn’t be quite easy in my mind at venturing East again, but at least I’d have my flighty piece under my eye. Indeed, when I reflected, that was my prime reason for going, and rated even above escaping Tighe and the Duke; looking back from mid-Channel, they didn’t seem nearly so terrible, and I resigned myself to enjoying the cruise; why, it might turn out to be quite fun.
I’ll give it to Solomon, he hadn’t lied about the luxury of his brig, the Sulu Queen. She was quite the latest thing in screw vessels, driven by a wheel through her keel, twin-masted for sail, and with her funnel well back, so that the whole forward deck, which was reserved for us, was quite free of the belching smoke which covered the stern with smuts and left a great black cloud in our wake. Our cabins were under-deck aft, though, out of the reek, and they were tip-top; oak furniture screwed down, Persian carpets, panelled bulkheads with watercolour paintings, a mirrored dressing-table that had Elspeth clapping her hands, Chinese curtains, excellent crystal and a well-stocked cellarette, clockwork fans, and a double bed with silk sheets that would have done credit to a New Orleans sporting-house. Well, thinks I, this is better than riding the gridirona; we’ll be right at home here.
The rest of the appointment was to match; the saloon, where we dined, couldn’t have been bettered for grub, liquor and service – even old Morrison, who’d been groaning reluctantly, I gathered, ever since he’d agreed to come, had his final doubts settled when they set his first sea meal before him; he was even seen to smile, which I’ll bet he hadn’t done since he last cut the mill-hands’ wages. Solomon was a splendid host, with every thought for our comfort; he even spent the first week pottering about the coast while we got our sea-legs, and was full of consideration for Elspeth – when she discovered that she had left her toilet water behind he had her maid landed at Portsmouth to go up to Town for some, with instructions to meet us at Plymouth; it was royal treatment, no error, and d--n all expense.
Only two things raised a prickle with me in all this idyllic luxury. One was the crew: there wasn’t a white face among ’em. When I was helped aboard that first night, it was by two grinning yellow-faced rascals in reefer jackets and bare feet; I tried ’em in Hindi, but they just grinned with brown fangs and shook their heads. Solomon explained that they were Malays; he had a few half-caste Arabs aboard as well, who were his engineers and black gang, but no Europeans except the skipper, a surly enough Frog with a touch of nigger in his hair, who messed in his cabin, so that we never saw him, hardly. I didn’t quite care for the all-yellow crew, though – I like to hear a British or Yankee voice in the foc’sle; it’s reassuring-like. Still, Solomon was a Far East trader, and part-breed himself, so it was perhaps natural enough. He had ’em under his heel, too, and they kept well clear of us, except for the Chink stewards, who were sleek and silent and first-rate.
The other thing was that the Sulu Queen, while she was fitted like a floating palace, carried ten guns, which is about as many as a brig will bear. I said it seemed a lot for a pleasure-yacht, and Solomon smiled and says:
“She is too valuable a vessel to risk, in Far Eastern waters, where even the British and Dutch navies can afford little protection. And” – bowing to us – “she carries a precious cargo. Piracy is not unknown in the islands, you know, and while its victims are usually defenceless native craft – well, I believe in being over-cautious.”
“Ye mean – there’s danger?” goggled Morrison.
“Not,” says Solomon, “with ten guns aboard.”
And to settle old Morrison’s qualms, and show off to Elspeth, he had all forty of his crew perform a gun practice for our benefit. They were handy, all right, scampering about the white-scrubbed deck in their tunics and short breeches, running out the pieces and ramming home cold shot to the squeal of the Arab bosun’s pipe, precise as guardsmen, and afterwards standing stock-still by their guns, like so many yellow idols. Then they performed cutlass-drill and arms drill, moving like clockwork, and I had to admit that trained troops couldn’t have shaped better; what with her speed and handiness, the Sulu Queen was fit to tackle anything short of a man-of-war.
“It is merely precaution piled on precaution,” says Solomon. “My estates lie on peaceful lanes, on the Malay mainland for the most part, and I take care never to venture where I might be blown into less friendly waters. But I believe in being prepared,” and he went on to talk about his iron water-tanks, and stores of sealed food – I’d still have been happier to see a few white faces and brown whiskers around us. We were three white folk – and Solomon himself, of course – and we were outward bound, after all.
However, these thoughts were soon dispelled in the interest of the voyage. I shan’t bore you with descriptions, but I’m bound to say it was the pleasantest cruise of my life, and we never noticed how the weeks slipped by. Solomon had spoken of three months to Singapore; in fact, it took us more than twice as long, and we never grudged a minute of it. Through the summer we cruised gently along the French and Spanish coasts, looking in at Brest and Vigo and Lisbon, being entertained lavishly by local gentry – for Solomon seemed to have a genius for easy acquaintance – and then dipping on down the African coast, into the warm latitudes. I can look back now and say I’ve made that run more times than I can count, in everything from an Indiaman to a Middle Passage slaver, but this was not like any common voyage – why, we picnicked on Moroccan beaches, made excursions to desert ruins beyond Casablanca, were carried on camels with veiled drivers, strolled in Berber market-places, watched fire-dancers under the massive walls of old corsair castles, saw wild tribesmen run their horse races, took coffee with turbaned, white-bearded governors, and even bathed in warm blue water lapping on miles and miles of empty silver sand with palms nodding in the breeze – and every evening there was the luxury of the Sulu Queen to return to, with its snowy cloths and sparkling silver and crystal, and the delicate Chink stewards attending to every want in the cool dimness