The Rain Wild Chronicles: The Complete 4-Book Collection. Robin Hobb
far too swiftly for her comfort in the flimsy basket. Leftrin had a tendency to stroll, and to chat with every passing acquaintance. She stood impatiently at his side through what seemed like dozens of encounters on their way back to the docks.
To every acquaintance, he introduced her as ‘the Bingtown dragon expert that will be heading upriver with the dragons to get them settled’. The title that at one time would have filled her with elation now agitated her. Her discomfiture was complete when she finally arrived back at the Tarman to discover that Sedric was not there.
Hennesey was already occupied with loading a stream of crates and barrels of supplies. He seemed surprised to see her. ‘Well, we all thought you was just taking some extra sleep. That Sedric fellow said to tell you that he’d gone off to find “suitable lodgings” for the two of you.’ The way he parodied Sedric’s diction made her fully aware of just how the crew viewed Sedric’s aristocratic manners and fastidiousness.
For a time, she stayed on the deck, watching with awe just how much the crew could fit into the Tarman’s holds. She went back down to the captain’s stateroom and tried to imagine living in it for over a week or possibly as long as a month. It had seemed quaint and nautical, but when she considered it for a longer period, she began to feel claustrophobic. She made an excuse to put her head into the crew’s living quarters, and then hastily withdrew. No. She could not imagine Sedric existing there any longer than he already had. She was certain now that he would veto her participation in the expedition. She went back on deck and looked anxiously upriver. Several times Leftrin tried to engage her in conversation about what her own needs might be, and once when she asked in some agitation when she would get to see the dragons, he explained that the dragon beach was less than an hour away by river, but quite a bit more than that if she wished to travel there by re-entering the city and using the footbridges and lifts to reach it. She gratefully declined to do that and attempted to find both her patience and her aplomb.
She had caught sight of Sedric before he saw her. He strode down the dock, his normally pleasant face set in grim disapproval. When he looked up from the dock and saw her seated on top of the deckhouse, she saw him take a deep breath and hold it. Then he clambered aboard and came immediately to her. He didn’t greet her at all but demanded, ‘What are these ridiculous rumours I’m hearing? I tried to rent some rooms for us, but the landlady asked whatever I would need them for, when she had heard that the Bingtown lady who came to study dragons would be heading upriver on the Tarman before the day was out.’
She was shocked to find she was trembling. For all his sly mockery of her, Hest had never raised his voice to her. And in all her years of knowing Sedric, she had never heard him speak so severely, with anger so plainly bubbling under his words. She clenched her hands together in her lap and tried to force steadiness into her voice. ‘I’m afraid that, yes, I did volunteer to go. You see, when I accompanied Captain Leftrin to a meeting with the Cassarick Traders’ Council, I discovered that they intended to remove all the dragons from here, transferring them upriver. No one quite knows exactly where they are to be resettled, but the Council is quite determined that they must be moved immediately. Malta the Elderling was there, and was very dejected that she herself could not accompany the dragons, but when I said that I could, she was—’
‘Impossible.’ He cut off her flow of words. His face had gone quite red. ‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! I can’t believe what you’ve done! You left the boat without my knowledge and went off with that man, and now you’ve involved yourself in Rain Wilds politics, making offers that we can’t possibly fulfil! You can’t go off on some hare-brained expedition to an unnamed destination, with no fixed date to return. Alise, what are you thinking? This isn’t some sort of pretend game. They are talking of going upriver beyond any settlements, perhaps beyond explored areas. They may encounter all sorts of dangers, not to mention the discomfort and primitive conditions of such travel. You are scarcely fit to endure such things. You cannot even imagine what you are suggesting. Or perhaps you can, but that “imagining” is all that you are doing. You have no concept of the reality. And there is the time factor to consider. Summer does not last forever, and we did not pack the clothing or make any arrangements for an extended stay in the Rain Wilds. You may not have real commitments to return to, but I do! This is ridiculous! And backing out of it will be endlessly embarrassing! Hest has trading partners here in the Rain Wilds. How is it going to look, that his wife agreed to do a thing that she could not possibly do and then backed out of it? What were you thinking?’
Between the time when he began his speech to the moment he finished it, a strange thing happened. The trembling inside Alise stilled, and then hardened. In Sedric’s outraged gaze she suddenly saw herself reflected as he saw her. Foolish and sheltered. Living out an imaginary adventure before fleeing home to her lifetime of no ‘real commitments’. Ignorant of the real world in which he and Hest moved so competently.
And perhaps she was, but through no fault of her own. She had never been allowed to gather the experiences she needed to be competent and independent. Never been allowed. That was the thought that burned in her like molten iron and suddenly hardened into cold resolve. She was not going to be ‘allowed’ to do anything. Never again would she submit to being ‘allowed’ or ‘not allowed’. She would follow her resolve if it killed her. For being killed by it would certainly be better than going home and dying of not being allowed to follow her dream.
So when he had asked her, so rhetorically, what she had been thinking, she replied literally. ‘I was thinking that I would finally study the dragons, as Hest promised me I could. It was one of the conditions for me marrying him, you know. That I would be allowed to come here and study them. If he had kept his word, I would have been here years ago, and all of this would have been much simpler. But as he chose, over and over again, to ignore the terms of our bargain, here we are. And the only way that his promise to me will be fulfilled is if I follow the dragons upriver and study them as we go.’ She ran out of breath and had to pause.
He was staring at her, his mouth open. She saw him take breath to speak and beat him to it. ‘So. I have signed an agreement with the Traders’ Council. We will be going upriver with the Tarman to see the dragons resettled. And we’ll be leaving by this afternoon, so Captain Leftrin will need a list from you of what supplies must be picked up for us. I’ll see to balancing accounts with him when we return to Trehaug. I’ll be earning a wage aboard the vessel, of course, so I’ll have money to settle with the captain. And of course I’ll be speaking to him about changing the sleeping arrangements so that we can both be more comfortable during the journey.’
She tossed the last comment toward him as a peace offering, hoping he would focus on it and simply accept the rest. It didn’t work.
‘Alise, this is crazy! We aren’t prepared—’
‘Nor will we be, if you don’t go to work promptly and make that list! That is, isn’t it, the sort of duty that you perform for Hest? And isn’t that what he instructed you to do for me, on this journey? So do it.’
And then she had stood up abruptly and walked away from him. Just like that. She had been shocked when he had actually done what she told him to do, and uneasy ever since. She’d avoided him successfully, not an easy feat on a ship. Leftrin had been surprisingly reasonable about changing quarters for them.
‘I’ve already put my mind to that, and the materials are on their way. I don’t mind giving up my bunk for a night or two, but much longer than that simply won’t work. But you’ll see. We can set up some temporary shelters on the deck. I’ve done it before for cattle, and it won’t be much different for passengers. The Tarman was built to be versatile. Oh, don’t look at me like that! You’ll see, I’ll make it comfortable enough for even Dapperlad there.’ And with an outrageous grin, he’d tossed his head toward the sulking Sedric.
Leftrin had been as good as his word. She had not noticed the fittings set into the deck that allowed for walls to be raised. The chambers created were neither large nor elegant, being not much roomier than a large box stall, but they were private, and when hammocks were slung in them and her own luggage set in place, she found she could arrange her boxes to make a cosy little den for herself. She had a place to sit and write, and a lantern