Ruinair. Paul Kilduff
cheap Ruinair flights from Stansted to Newquay. Simon Price, the boarding school’s deputy head, said: ‘It would make perfect sense for someone from the Stansted area to board here. The flights are normally £10 if you book in advance, although we’ve got someone coming to visit this week who paid 79p.’ Bill Levene, 17, who is studying chemistry, physics and maths at A level, said: ‘The boys learn about co-operation and teamwork living in a boarding house. And I’ve learnt how to use the washing machine,’ he added.
TIMES ONLINE
THE LOW ESTEEM AIRLINE
A man who made bizarre attempts to kidnap female Ruinair staff had a toy gun and pieces of rope in his pocket when he was arrested. Gavin Plumb, 20, targeted women wearing the low-cost airline’s distinctive blue uniform as they travelled by train from Bishop’s Stortford to Stansted Airport. He sat in front of Ruinair employee Katazyna Pasek and handed her a note which read, ‘I will do anything’. She moved to another seat, but Plumb followed and showed her a piece of paper which read, ‘I will do anything, so keep quiet and get off with me at the next station. Otherwise I will shoot you and everyone on this train.’ He put his finger to his lip, indicating she should keep quiet, a prosecutor told Chelmsford Crown Court. Fearing she was going to be killed, Miss Pasek became upset and other passengers intervened. Plumb moved down the carriage and got off. Two days later, air stewardess Marlene Gaborit, also wearing her uniform, was in an almost empty carriage when Plumb sat beside her. He showed her a note which read, ‘I’m a police officer. You have to get off at the next station for a quick chat.’ He asked her if she wanted to see his ID and he produced a card. As Plumb got off he touched her leg and said: ‘No worries.’ He was still on the platform when transport police saw him later. He was asked if he had claimed to be a police officer, which he denied, but seemed agitated, said the prosecution. When asked if he had any police ID, he said: ‘My little brother uses my coat. He pretends to be a police officer. I’ve just remembered, there’s a gun in my pocket.’ He had a black toy handgun and three pieces of rope on him. When arrested, he said that he wanted to be a police community support officer. During questioning, he said that it had all been a silly prank because he was bored at home. Plumb, of Upper Stonyfields, Harlow, pleaded guilty to two charges of attempted kidnap. Defence counsel described the offences as very unusual with disturbing undertones and said Plumb, who was of previous good character, was a vulnerable young man who suffered from low self-esteem.
THE GUARDIAN
THE LOW AIRLINE
A Ruinair pilot was demoted following a serious incident on a flight carrying 128 passengers from Stansted to Cork, it has emerged. Poor communications between the pilot and co-pilot led to the incident, where the Boeing 737-800 aircraft flew too low over Bishopstown. The Air Accident Investigation Unit of the Department of Transport (AAIU) has published its investigation into the incident, which took place with 134 people on board. The AAIU report says the flight over Bishopstown was reported to the Cork Airport Authority by ‘at least 16 upset residents, whose independent and consistent complaints, submitted by telephone and in writing, referred to noise and how low the aircraft was being flown.’
THE IRISH TIMES
THE LOW VISIBILITY AIRLINE
A passenger jet which was destined for City of Derry Airport has landed at an Army base six miles away by mistake. The Liverpool to Derry service, operated by Eirjet on behalf of Ruinair, landed at Ballykelly airstrip. Ruinair said in a statement it was due to an ‘error by the pilot who mistakenly believed he was on a visual approach to City of Derry airport’. Ballykelly airfield, formerly RAF Ballykelly, has 2,000m of partially-paved strip, of which only around half is understood to be usable, not least since it is now intersected by a railway line. It has not been used for fixed wing aircraft since 1971. One of the passengers said ‘The pilot apologised and said, “We have arrived at the wrong airport. I ask you to be patient.”’ Another passenger said he knew the flight was landing at the wrong airport. ‘I tried to tell the crew that we were landing in the wrong place, but it was too late to do anything because the descent was almost over. It was hilarious.’ Brian Mather, a passenger, said the soldiers treated the passengers well. ‘They could see the funny side of it. Some of the soldiers came on board and laughingly welcomed us to their international airport.’ Captain Mervyn Granshaw, chairman of the British Airline Pilots’ Association, said there were several reasons why such an incident could occur. ‘Human beings are fallible—from simple things like putting teabags in a milk jug to the other end of the spectrum of landing at the wrong runway.’ Ruinair chief executive Mick O’Leery said, ‘The pilot seems to have made a stupid mistake.’
BBC NEWS
RUINAIR ANNOUNCES 16th EUROPEAN BASE IN DERRY BALLYKELLY
Ruinair, Europe’s largest low fares airline, today announced its 16th European base, in Derry Ballykelly airport. On Wednesday last, the independent surveyors, Eirjet, working on behalf of Ruinair held an impromptu meeting with representatives from Ballykelly Airport Loading and Logistics Services (BALLS). The military precision of the operation, un-congested, low cost facilities, impeccable turn out and well-drilled staff led Eirjet to advise Ruinair that these were clearly people it could do business with. Announcing the new base today, Leo Hairy Camel, Ruinair’s CEO designate, said: ‘This is not a load of Barracks. Since its inception, Ruinair has been waging war on high cost airports, and our announcement today of a new base at Costa Del Ballykelly is just another of our military manoeuvres to continue to lower fares for European consumers. Ballykelly Airport is a breath of fresh air and this development marks the demise of Taj-Mahal airports run by fat cats. Ballykelly secured this base by fluke despite intense competition from over so airports throughout Europe. Airport operators the length and breadth of Europe are today taking note that the future of airports lies in simple, functional, low cost facilities. Ruinair’s new route from Ballykelly to Nocincz (pronounced Nochance) go on sale today on www.ruinair.com/aprilfooledyou.
WWW.RUINAIR.COM
Ruinair Flight FR44 – Tuesday @ 11.50am – DUB-CRL-DUB
Fare €1 plus taxes, fees and charges €33
I must drive rather than take public transport because Dublin is the only large European capital without a rail link to its airport. I pass the Port Tunnel into which the government has poured €750 million of taxpayers’ money yet the builders want €350 million more to finish it and the tunnel roof leaks water on occasion, making it the most expensive car wash in Dublin. It’s a black hole. I stay out of the bus lanes since these are exclusively reserved for Polish motor cars. On the way to the airport there are Irish roadworks. A sign confirms the M1 is closed and there is a diversion along Griffith Avenue. However, in the best traditions of Irish motoring, all the cars ahead of me carry on along the M1. I follow. As expected, the M1 is open to traffic all the way to the short-term car park opposite the terminal. Sure we only put these sort of alarmist road signs up to present a challenge to our overseas visitors when travelling to the airport.
In a move reminiscent of Al Capone’s hey-day, the Dublin Airport Authority has increased the cost of short-term car parking by 50 per cent, so I drive the fifty miles to the barren wasteland of long-term. To park in short-term, one must now deposit several close family members in a bank vault as a security deposit. The Beautiful People of Dublin used to frequent Brown Thomas, the Ice Bar and Lillie’s Bordello but now they can ostentatiously display their personal wealth in the Lower Level of short-term car park A. In long-term the DAA has kindly provided visual reminder signage of the parking zones to aid those who return from two weeks in Majorca only to utter ‘Jaysus, where did I leave me feckin’ wheels?’ So there’s a Zone G for Guitar, Zone H for Helicopter and more recently Zone c for Criminal, Zone M for Monopoly and Zone R for Rip-off.