The Abstinence Teacher. Tom Perrotta
this close to graduation.”
SHE HAD only one bad memory from those days, but it had stuck with her over the years, its power undiminished by the passage of time. It happened on a warm evening near the end of school, a couple of weeks after Paul's cast came off and he was reclaimed by real life, Missy, and the marching band. Ruth was in the kitchen, helping her mother clean up after dinner when her father called from the living room.
“Hey, get a load of this.”
What he wanted them to see was the white stretch limo parked in front of the Carusos’. A small crowd of curious neighbors had gathered around to admire the vehicle—it was gleaming in the dusk, giving off a soft shimmery luster—some of them chatting with the uniformed driver, others circling the car, peering into the windows and kicking the tires, as if they were thinking about buying one for themselves.
“Must be the prom,” Ruth's mother said.
Ruth's father was a man who liked to know what was going on. Whenever an ambulance or fire truck appeared on Peony Road, no matter what time of day or night, he headed out to investigate, buttonholing as many bystanders and emergency workers as he could, then returning home with the bulletin: Mrs. Rapinksi was short of breath, it was a grease fire in the oven, the old man felt dizzy. Ruth wasn't surprised to see him putting on his shoes.
“This oughta be interesting,” he said.
“Who's his date?” her mother asked. “Is it that big girl? The baseball player?”
“How should I know?” Ruth snapped.
Her parents headed outside, unable to resist the glamorous pull of prom night. Ruth stayed in, staring out the window, wishing she had the courage to return to the kitchen and continue loading the dishwasher but finding it impossible to turn away from the spectacle.
The limo driver—he was an older man with a carefully expressionless face—had just pulled out a handkerchief and begun rubbing at something on the windshield when the people around him began to clap, as if applauding his diligence. It took Ruth a moment to realize that Paul and Missy must have just emerged from the house, though she couldn't see them from where she stood. Even with her face pressed against the glass, her field of vision only encompassed the bottom half of the front lawn, where Paul's father and another man—a burly guy in a windbreaker who must have been Missy's dad—were kneeling and snapping flash pictures.
Onlookers shouted out jokey-sounding comments that Ruth couldn't quite make out; she saw her own mother and father laughing on the sidewalk. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, the sense of being cut off from the action, of being stuck in here while it was all happening out there.
She headed for the front door, hesitating for a moment as she took stock of her unflattering outfit—baggy sweatpants and an old South-side Johnny T-shirt inherited from her sister—nothing you'd want to be seen wearing in public. She wondered if there was time to at least grab a jean jacket from her room or run a brush through her hair, but there wasn't.
She stepped onto her porch just in time to see Paul and Missy making their way toward the limo, where the driver was waiting, holding the back door open and extending an eloquent gesture of invitation with his free hand. They stopped by the curb, posing for one last photo, Paul bulky and imposing in his rented tux, Missy a bit awkward in a sleeveless orange dress with a poufy skirt, a tight bodice—an unwieldy corsage had been pinned directly over her left breast—and spaghetti straps that emphasized the powerful girth of her shoulders. Her blond French twist seemed strangely luminous, almost iridescent, as she kissed Paul on the cheek, straightened his bow tie, and then ducked into the car. He was just about to follow her when he turned suddenly, as if drawn by Ruth's gaze, and looked straight at her.
That moment of eye contact couldn't have lasted more than a second or two, just long enough for Ruth to see that he'd gotten a haircut— nothing drastic, just a trim of a couple inches all around—and to notice his peculiar expression, as if his face had gotten stuck halfway between a fake smile for the cameras and a mute apology to her.
Or maybe she was imagining the apology part, because what did he have to apologize for? Ruth wasn't his girlfriend, never had been. They'd just had some fun, and now it was over. She had no right to be jealous, no right to wish herself inside the limo in a pretty dress after having just been applauded by her neighbors, no right to call out and ask him to reconsider, to remember how he'd stroked her hair and told her that she was the kind of girl guys wrote love songs about.
He held his arms close to his body and shrugged, as if to say there was nothing he could do. She had the feeling he was about to say something, but the limo driver stepped in before he had the chance, placing his hand on Paul's shoulder and guiding him gently into the car. He was still looking at her as the door slammed shut, his face baffled and unhappy, then lost behind the tinted window.
RUTH ARRIVED LATE AND MILDLY HUNGOVER FOR HER DAUGHTER'S soccer game on Saturday morning. Smiling queasily, she made her way down the sideline, nodding hello to the more punctual parents, many of whom she hadn't seen in quite a while. A few of the spectators were sitting in collapsible chairs, but most were on their feet, chatting in sociable clumps as they sipped from state-of-the-art, stainless-steel travel mugs, giving the whole scene the air of an outdoor cocktail party.
As usual, Ruth's ex-husband, Frank, had removed himself from the talkers, his attention focused solely on the game. He stood like the baseball player he'd once been—knees bent, hands resting on his thighs— observing the action with an expression of intense absorption that Ruth might have mistaken for disgust if she hadn't known him so well.
“Morning,” she said, tugging gently on his sleeve. “How we doing?”
“Tied at two,” he muttered, shooting her a reproachful glance. “First half's almost over. Maggie thought you forgot.”
“I overslept.”
“Ever hear of an alarm clock?”
“Didn't go off,” she explained, leaving out the part about how she'd unplugged the thing in a fit of three-in-the-morning insomniac misery. Because, really, what was worse than lying wide-awake in the dark, watching your life drip away, one irreplaceable minute after another?
“Come on, blue!” Frank bellowed through the loudspeaker of his cupped hands. “Move the ball! You're dragging out there!”
Ruth squinted at the field, cursing herself for forgetting her sunglasses. She'd actually had them on the first time she left the house, but she'd decided to dart back inside for one final pit stop, knowing all too well that once she got to the game, her only alternative would be an off-kilter Port-A-Potty at the edge of the woods. She must have removed her shades to use the toilet—not that she couldn't pee perfectly well in the dark—because they were no longer on her face when she pulled into the gravel parking area at Shackamackan Park.
“Candace!” Frank had both hands above his head and was waving them like one of those guys with the sticks on the airport tarmac. “You're sweeper! Get back!”
Candace Roper, a very pretty girl whom Maggie had known since preschool, had drifted up near midfield, apparently unaware that one of her opponents—they wore shiny yellow jerseys with the word Comets emblazoned on the front—had slipped behind her and would have a clear path to the goal if her teammates could get her the ball. Candace glanced over her shoulder, clapped one hand over her mouth in guilty surprise, then scampered back into position.
“Jesus,” he said. “We're sleepwalking out here.”
“Where's Eliza?”
Frank jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Ruth turned to see her older daughter sitting at a picnic table beneath a fiery red maple that had already lost half its leaves. She was engrossed in a magazine, most likely a back issue of O or Martha Stewart Living that Frank's lady friend,