It’s a Wonderful Life: The Christmas bestseller is back with an unforgettable holiday romance. Julia Williams
seems so genuine and warm, it’s hard to remember the Jack who broke my heart, and all I can think of is the Jack who I fell in love with way back then. I feel as though I’ve entered another life, and for a minute it’s as if the intervening years have slipped away. I didn’t used to have responsibilities – instead I had ambitions, ideas and fun. Who was that girl I used to be? So full of life and love and hope? Where has she gone? I miss her.
‘Thanks,’ I say. My heart is doing a silly fluttering thing. Which is ridiculous.
Jack’s worn well. He looks fit and healthy, and at nearly forty is still devastatingly handsome.
‘So how’s life with you?’ I say. ‘Any kids?’
‘One,’ he says, ‘a daughter, aged five.’
He shows me pictures. She’s cute as a button.
‘I’m not with her mum though. My fault.’ He looks rueful.
‘Ah, right,’ I say. The leopard clearly hasn’t changed his spots. ‘Sorry to hear that.’
‘I don’t have a great track record with women,’ he says. ‘Mainly because I have a bad habit of letting the good ones slip through my fingers …’
He pauses and looks at me, in a way that feels significant. Shit, he can’t mean …? My heart is racing at the thought.
‘… So I’m not great with commitment.’
He doesn’t mean me, I admonish myself. He’s just being nice.
‘Unlike you, I see,’ he says, clocking my rings.
‘Yes, happily married to Daniel for eighteen years,’ I say, looking down at my ring finger with a flash of guilt. ‘Two kids, a boy and a girl.’
I find myself telling him about them enthusiastically, as if by doing so I can put a barrier between me and my fluttering heart.
Because sitting here with Jack is nice – too nice. It feels dangerous. I should go.
‘I’m really glad you’re happy,’ says Jack, and his pleasure seems genuine.
‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘I am.’
Which I am really, I know I am, but there’s a part of me now, here with Jack, that’s wondering how life could have been. Whether that girl I was wouldn’t have got lost under a welter of responsibilities if Jack had stayed in my life. I think of us sitting together in the college bar, talking about life over beer and packets of crisps.
‘I was an idiot back then,’ he says, and I realise he’s trying to apologise.
‘It’s a long time ago,’ I say, ‘all forgotten.’
‘There’s no fool like a young fool,’ he says, and smiles at me. ‘Your Daniel is a lucky man.’
He shoots me a look. It’s regret, I think, mixed with something else. Desire? I am temporarily poleaxed. I have to get a grip.
‘I’m the lucky one,’ I say firmly. ‘I have a great life, wonderful children, and a gorgeous husband. I couldn’t want for anything more.’
I am deliberately hiding behind the wall of my perfect domesticity, and trying to turn away from the dangerous feelings Jack is evoking.
I think he senses it, because he comes over all business-like and says, ‘If you need to chat over the storyline and pictures some more, please do get in touch.’
‘That would be lovely,’ I say and give him a hug. The hug I receive in return is warm and heartfelt. It is with some regret that I pull myself away. ‘It’s been great to see you again.’
‘And you,’ he says.
I watch him head back to the office, turning the card he’s given me over and over. I won’t take him up on his offer, I decide. It was lovely to catch up. But despite Jack Stevens’ devastating blue eyes and charming manner, the past should stay where it belongs. In the past.
Daniel
Daniel got in late from work to find Beth cooking and the kids, as usual, in their rooms. Sometimes it felt as if they’d already left home and it was just him and Beth in the house. For all the notice the kids took of them, they might as well be invisible. Still, it was always good to come home, to Beth, to their shared life. He was lucky to have such a family, lucky to have a four-bedroomed detached house, lucky to have a garden. He could never have imagined this happening to him when he was growing up, in the small flat he and his mum had shared in south London.
‘Good day?’ Beth asked, giving him a welcoming hug. He pulled her to him, breathed her in. She was every bit as gorgeous to him now as she had been that first day he’d met her at teacher training, when she’d walked into the lecture hall and smiled at him. He’d taken one look at the pretty arty girl with the long curling hair, and known that he was smitten. All these years later and he still was.
‘Busy,’ said Daniel. ‘How did the meeting go?’
‘It was dire,’ said Beth. ‘That girl. Ugh. I’m more confused than ever. I feel this bloody book is going to be the death of me.’
‘I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that,’ said Daniel. Beth always fretted when she was in the middle of a book, but she pulled it off every time. It was a constant source of astonishment to him as to how she did it. He was so proud of her.
‘It really is,’ said Beth. ‘Oh, and you’ll never guess who the new art director is.’
‘Who?’
‘Do you remember me telling you about a guy called Jack Stevens?’
‘The guy from college?’ Daniel had faint memories of Beth mentioning a friend from art school called Jack years ago. Apparently he had always encouraged her when they were students, which had given her the confidence to do what she was doing now. For some reason they’d drifted apart after college; she was always a bit vague as to why.
‘The very same,’ said Beth. ‘Small world, huh?’
‘Isn’t it?’ Daniel said. ‘How was he?’
‘Just the same,’ said Beth. She seemed a bit preoccupied. ‘At least I know he’s on my side.’
‘Well that’s something,’ said Daniel. He sighed. ‘I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got paperwork to catch up on. How long till supper?’
‘You have half an hour,’ said Beth.
Daniel went upstairs and poked his head round Megan’s door.
She was sitting in her bed, wrapped up in a blanket, transfixed to a screen.
‘Good day?’ he asked.
‘It was OK,’ said Megan, barely looking up.
‘I hope that’s homework you’re doing,’ said Daniel.
Megan blushed. ‘Not exactly. I’m just watching something on YouTube.’
‘Well, look at that after you’ve done your homework,’ said Daniel. ‘You know, you’ve got—’
‘I’ve got GSCEs next year and need to knuckle down,’ said Megan rolling her eyes. ‘I know, Dad, and I am working.’
‘Good,’ said Daniel, smiling. Megan always had an answer for everything, but at least she still talked to him.
He paused outside Sam’s room, thinking about Jason Leigh. Maybe Sam needed a similar kick up the arse.
Sam was also hunched over a computer, sitting at his desk with his back to Daniel.
‘How’s it going?’ said