So I Have Thought of You: The Letters of Penelope Fitzgerald. Penelope Fitzgerald
We’ve got her a slip with lace, which seems to be a status symbol at the school. Meanwhile she went to confession all by herself which was quite an effort.
It’s a lovely day here but cold. I see it’s raining in Barcelona but I think this is a good thing as it will surely clear up and be really sunny when you arrive.
Do remember to wash your stockings or socks every night and please if you can get some Spanish playing cards, the ordinary cheap kind, you will, won’t you? Señor Ramos can easily get a pack from a bar or a fonda, but perhaps he is not very approachable.
Mrs Morris’s baby does not seem to have arrived yet, and there is a terrible smell of cooking from Mr Morris’s kitchen. Some new people are moving in downstairs. Mrs Ladas says that a large family with fierce Alsatian and 3 ponies have moved into the Wright’s house and she feels that between them and the Pages she would have no peace at all. The Alsatian is always on the lawn.
I am off now to the Post Office to send the eggs to Wangford – choc. drops for Ralph and I knitted a pair of bootees for Martha.* Ria has gone to play two-balls with Jane.
Hasta la vista y diviértete bien
much love mum
Flat 5144 Earls Court Road
London, sw5
Easter Saturday [1964]
Dearest Tina,
I do hope you will get this letter in time before you leave on the long trek home. The Express says it is sunny in Barcelona, so I hope you’re in for a good Easter.
Great distress as Maria has just eaten all the pips of her orange, so none can be planted.
We went down to see the Boat Race at Hammersmith Bridge but arrived too late – which didn’t matter because Cambridge was winning easily it turned out. We took the opportunity to look at Godolphin school again and it certainly didn’t look too bad. We also visited the Doll Museum – were taken round by the excessively kinky proprietor with a flickering oil lamp. He showed all the dolls sitting round like corpses ‘having a fish tea’ as he said with a queer laugh – Maria misses you very much, and is very obstreperous. Valpy back on Tuesday.
I have been asked to coach a Buddhist girl, but she wants to come here, so I can’t do it; such a pity as it would have been money for nothing.
Longing to see you and hear about your trip. Hope you are keeping Miss Taylor in order.
love from Mum
X
Squalid Council Estate
[7 April 1965]
Dearest Tina,
I wasn’t able to say the many things I intended in the Lighthills’ hall – just as well I expect – but I must say now that I miss you very much – as we all do – and what to do without you I cannot think, but I do hope you may get some amusement of it at least. I thought you looked exceedingly nice when you went off in the white stockings. I’m afraid I’m not at all successful, as a mother, in not getting on your nerves: but I do love you very much. It’s so queer with no voice coming from your room.
Maria was asleep when I got back, worn out with the excitement of your departure. I ought to go to see Mme. Aubrey in hospital tomorrow, but it seems hard on her to drag her all that way. I’m not quite sure what to do. One of my ivy plants looks as though it’s dying: I must sneak out by night and see if I can get some more earth from the Agnes Riley gardens.
Please don’t be depressed by the thought of our flat &c, I know it isn’t grand, but I am sure we’ll be able to manage so she* doesn’t notice too much. The Lighthills’ carpet doesn’t meet properly in the hall anyway. But I did rather fall for the Professor, he’s just like a professor in a comic. Anyway it was very kind of them and better by far than struggling up from s.w.4.
I am dying to know what life is like in Avenue du Cèdre (only one cedar presumably) and look forward very much to a letter; I’ve nothing to say in this one as you see, but wanted to tell you how much I was thinking of you. I feel so low, but this won’t do, and is not the right attitude of mind. I really want you to have a rest, and a good time if at all possible, as you’ve been so very tired lately. – We’ll send on the Musical Express as I see it’s all a great crisis as to whether Cliff is top or not. I’m surprised he’s celebrating with champagne – I thought he was a non-drinker and non-smoker?
Poor Daddy aghast at the budget.
much love from us all Mum XXX
185 Poynders Gardens, sw4
[10 April 1965]
Dearest Tina,
So glad to get your letter even though it was rather a sad one and while I think of it the Lighthills were very pleased that you had written to thank them, it was a good idea.
I think you are facing up very bravely to the horrors of staying in a large French family – so much more efficiently than I did for instance – I was always in tears and then I got hungry in the middle of the night and went and got some cold potatoes out of the kitchen and the Italian cook was accused of stealing them. José sounds nice, though.
I do hope all will be well at the skiing, perhaps the brother will be nice, though I don’t feel inclined to bet on this. I think it rather odd of Madame to be away when you came – a relief in a way though, I suppose. You seem to be managing well with the French language though.
You say it’s not like what you thought, but it does sound rather like a French family, all the same. I agree it’s a pity they live in quite such style, but you’ll do quite different things with her – sightseeing and packed lunches – and I’ll try and cook something really nice in the evening and it’ll be something quite different for her – also we’ll give her something to do all the time, even if it’s only getting birdseed from Woolies.
I do rather envy you going up into the mountains, I always feel so well there, and am longing to hear about the skiing – I’m amazed that Madame is skiing too, no dull domestic duties.
Maria and Daddy and I miss you very much. Maria recalls with nostalgia the time when I was away (so much preferable) and you cooked such nice things and had Cornflakes every day. She’s bought a cuckoo clock with her gift voucher, which hiccups at the quarters as poor Daddy dropped it while trying to put it up, and there were many tears, but now all is well and she’s gone to Titia’s party in her new dress. What does Milène wear by the way?
We went to see Mme. Aubrey in hospital – grim ward with dying patients grasping for fumigation bottles – but Ria rather liked it.
much love
Mum
X
185 Poynders Gardens, sw4
15 April [1965]
Dearest Tina,
Thankyou so much for your lovely letters and the p.c.* I could hardly believe there’d be another breakdown in your trip, but you’re getting an old hand now, and seem to deal with everything wonderfully well. I can’t make out quite where you were for the skiing though – do they have a chalet of their own or what? Anyway if they’re as rich as all this we couldn’t compete anyway. And I think it would have been worse to stay with people who didn’t do anything at all, perhaps. I’m glad there really is a cèdre in the avenue – can’t say the same for Cedars Road, S.W.4.
Ria has gone off to spend the afternoon with Sylvia and is going again tomorrow, I’m glad really as it’s less dull for her though I can’t really approve of