Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby. Sarah Beeson
definitely general practices we can follow, they have to be shaped around that child and their family.
You will probably start to notice patterns developing and have a mini-routine going for about a week, and then things will change again (have a look at the adaptable mini-routines in Chapter 3). Many mothers find that a baby does not behave exactly the same two days in a row, so I think the secret to success is anticipating your baby’s needs but having enough flexibility to enjoy each day with your baby. Having too strict a structure can make mothers feel trapped, and that’s not good for them or their Little One.
Nap times and feed times will vary, but you can exercise influence over your day. You and your baby will develop a rhythm that helps you read them more easily so you can pick up on the cues that tell you they’re getting tired or hungry, and act on them before things escalate and tears appear. This is your baby and your life, so do what works for you. As long as your baby’s needs are met, all will be well.
Is it normal for me to be this hungry?
If you are breastfeeding, yes it is! You are very likely to have a much bigger appetite than usual when you start breastfeeding – you do need to eat (you can’t breastfeed a baby successfully on a salad and a crispbread). Many women crave carbohydrates, chocolate and sweet things because you need a good intake of carbohydrates to make that milk. You’ll want to balance this out with a good helping of protein-rich foods and adequate fats, plus plenty of fruits and vegetables each day.
In order to make rich, plentiful breast milk, eat at least three portions of carbohydrate a day. Healthy choices are cereals, oats, bread, potatoes, rice and pasta – they are all a good source of carbohydrate as part of a balanced diet.
Never try to diet when breastfeeding, as you need your calories from a wide range of foods for nutrients (particularly no-carb or very low-carb regimes are no good for milk production). This is because breast milk has a high proportion of carbohydrate (if your milk leaks you’ll see that when it dries it starches your clothing, which shows the sugar levels in the breast milk made by a good intake of carbohydrate).
Eat the foods you want and like, and only avoid foods if you think they are upsetting you or the baby. Tastes do change during pregnancy and during breastfeeding, so it may be you can no longer stomach that old favourite but you are craving things you didn’t like before. Many women find they can’t eat certain foods whilst breastfeeding, and if you notice your baby is very grumpy and difficult to settle or satisfy all of a sudden, look back over the past 24 hours to see if you’ve eaten or drunk something that might have disagreed with them. It may be that some foods that are high in fibre like bran or new potatoes, or too many fresh berries or fruit juice may upset the breast milk. It may also change your LO’s poos, but this can be difficult to detect as normal poo is runny and explosive anyway.
I remember when ... my daughter Amy had just had her baby and I was staying with them to help out for the first couple of weeks. Baby Ava would feed all night long, and I used to bring Amy tea and toast in the middle of the night as it was feed, feed, feed and she needed to eat and drink enough to keep on going. I would often sit up and chat and laugh with her till the sun came up to help Amy make it through those long nights, and then once the baby had finally had enough (at about breakfast time) I used to make Amy some breakfast, and then look after the baby while she got a few hours’ much-needed sleep.
Solutions to common breastfeeding problems
Sore nipples
Having sore or painful nipples is probably the most frequently experienced problem women have when breastfeeding. In the first week it can be the result of your baby first learning to feed and your milk coming in, and it can be a toe-curling experience.
When your baby first starts to suck it may be painful for the first few seconds. If the pain persists, check the position of your baby – they may be sucking on the end of the nipple and not getting the big mouthful of breast they get when correctly attached (revisit the Latching Technique section at the beginning of this chapter). If this happens, slip your little finger in at the corner of their mouth and break the suction. Adjust your position and try using a pillow if you want to (even if you are out and about, there are little travel cushions you can slip into the change bag to make life easier when feeding in public). Raise the baby up and bring them up to the breast. Check they are nose to nipple and ensure they have an open mouth coming from below the breast to latch on, getting as much of the brown area of the nipple into their mouth as possible and having a good seal, not a ‘gappy’ one, and keeping the nose clear from obstruction.
When they have finished, squeeze out some hind milk and gently rub it into the nipple to help soothe and protect it. Using breastfeeding gels before and after feeding may also help make you more comfortable. Also, don’t over-wash the breasts as this may actually be a cause of soreness.
Trust Yourself
Aching Back? Maybe You Need a Bigger Bra
The size of your breasts increases as the milk comes in, and many women go up several cup sizes. Having an ill-fitting bra can cause backache. A loose-fitting bra to begin with for your hospital bag and wearing around the house is fine until you feel like a trip out to get properly fitted.
Cracked nipples
If your nipples are very sore and using expressed breast milk or gel is not sufficient, then you may need to get a prescription for cream to heal the nipples. Any cream you use will need to be washed off before feeding the baby so they are fiddly and more time-consuming than using gel or hind milk. But sometimes if you use a cream for just 24 hours and let plenty of air get to the breasts, the nipple will heal a lot faster.
If you are suffering, using a cream to heal faster is well worth the bother, and much better in the long run than feeding on a very sore breast. Apply the cream in a thick layer, then wipe off with damp cotton wool before you feed your baby. I know this can be a real pain during night feeds, but do make sure it’s all gone, as the baby should not ingest any of the cream.
While the nipple is healing you may want to breastfeed on only one side and express milk from the sore breast, just until it is comfortable to feed again.
If you are diagnosed with thrush, then not only will you need to finish any course of treatment to clear the infection but the baby will need to take oral medication as well (see also the A–Z section for more about thrush).
Blocked ducts
You may notice a small tender lump in your breast that could indicate a blocked duct. Try massaging the breast or using the warmth from a covered hot water bottle or warmed pad to help to disperse it. You may find this works best if you gently massage the breast to unblock the duct while you are in the bath or shower. This is best done after a feed; a good feed will help to empty the affected breast and clear the blockage. If a blocked duct does not clear it may lead to mastitis, so ask your health visitor or doctor for further advice at the earliest opportunity.
Mastitis
Mastitis can be a mild or severe inflammation of the breast and sometimes can cause fever and vomiting. If the breasts are painful and swollen and/or hot and red, you may have mastitis. Seek medical advice as soon as you notice the symptoms, especially if you have flu-like symptoms and are feeling hot and cold with achy joints and feeling generally unwell. Your doctor may prescribe some antibiotics if the mastitis has become infected. Only take medication as instructed by your health practitioner.
Drink lots of fluids and try using warm packs, or sometimes an ice pack can help, or even a small quantity of frozen peas in a plastic bag wrapped in a clean towel (remember not to eat the peas later on, though you could label them and refreeze for medicinal use again).
Do keep feeding the baby if you can, and check the position for breastfeeding and how the baby latches on to ensure you’re going to be as comfortable as possible. (Revisit the Latching Techniques and positioning advice earlier in this chapter to double-check.)
Expressing breast milk (EBM)
You can express breast milk either by hand or by using a hand