I Know You. Annabel Kantaria
And together for one before that.’
‘Not so long then.’
‘How about you and Rob?’
‘Seven years married. And you know what they say about that.’ Anna rolls her eyes.
‘Seven-year itch?’ I ask, and she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. It surprises me. Young couple, pregnant wife – I’d assumed, I suppose, that their marriage was a garden of roses. But I, of all people, should know that’s not necessarily true.
‘It’s difficult keeping things alive when we’re apart so much,’ Anna says carefully. ‘I only see him for a few nights every four to six weeks. Sometimes it feels as if he spends more time on aeroplanes than he does with me. It’s a joke I even got pregnant. And now…’ she exhales. ‘Now, I guess I’ll be pretty much raising this baby alone.’
‘But he’ll come home for the birth, won’t he? Stick around a bit?’
She shrugs. ‘You’d hope so, wouldn’t you?’ We walk a few steps while I digest this, then Anna speaks again. ‘God knows what he gets up to when he’s away.’ She looks away from me, across the park.
‘Surely not a lot? It’s Qatar, isn’t it?’ I’m really out of my depth now but, from what little I’ve heard about Middle Eastern countries, I imagine Rob’s living in some sort of compound with other male members of staff. Segregated from the women. Or is that Saudi Arabia? I’m ashamed how little I know, but it can’t be like California, can it, where temptation-in-a-bikini is all around.
Anna sighs. ‘I think it’s pretty relaxed in the big hotels. They can get alcohol and stuff. There are clubs and bars, and pretty, young cabin crew a-plenty.’ She shuts her eyes. ‘I just try not to think about it. So how do you and Jake keep it alive while he’s away?’ she says.
I laugh, thrown off guard by the question. ‘I’m hardly the right person to ask.’
‘Oh, come on! I need some tips.’
I go to kick another pile of leaves and remember I mustn’t. ‘I just try to keep him interested, that’s all. So he doesn’t look elsewhere. But, you know… with the baby…’
‘It’s safe, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah. Course it is. It’s just…’
Anna smiles. ‘I know exactly what you mean. The most important thing is to get the baby to full term, right? After what you’ve been through.’
‘Yes!’
‘And surely he understands that? I mean – it’s his precious son and heir, right?’
‘Exactly. Yes, of course.’
We smile, understanding each other perfectly.
‘But before that. What did you do to keep him interested?’ she asks. ‘You’ve got to have some tricks up your sleeve, right?’
I suck my teeth. ‘Well, we’d talk on the phone…’
‘Like… dirty talk?’ She’s peering at me, her curiosity naked.
‘Sometimes. And I’d send him pictures. Nothing that’d be worth hacking my iCloud for. Just a bit of a tease.’
‘To keep him interested?’
‘Yeah. You know how it is… handsome man; travels a lot…’ I exhale, plastering over the wound of Jake’s infidelity in my head; thinking further back to a time before I’d caught him cheating. ‘I dunno. I might buy some fancy new underwear when he was coming home after a longer trip. Not every trip, just now and then. And he likes a bit of role play, so – wow, this goes back to before we were married, I don’t think we’ve done it in ages – god, I’m embarrassed to say, but I’d get some dress-up costumes. We used to be quite playful.’ I laugh, self-conscious now, and sneak a sideways look at Anna. ‘It sounds seedy, doesn’t it? It was just a bit of fun.’
‘It’s not seedy, and I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I hope you didn’t mind me asking, but who else can you ask but your girlfriends?’
I shake my head. ‘It’s fine. You don’t do any of that, I take it?’
‘Rob’s not the sort. He’s more your wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am type. You know, straight-up, no frills. If I put on fancy underwear he’d think I’d got a boyfriend coming over.’
I can’t imagine lovely Anna with someone who sounds, frankly, so dull. ‘How did you two meet?’
‘Long story. Boring story. Not-telling-you story.’
I pout to disguise my hurt. ‘Really?’
‘It’s not worth the breath. But let’s just say I was vulnerable at the point at which he came into my life and I think that’s got something to do with the fact we got together. He was what I needed at the time. Manly. Protective.’ She looks off into the distance and I remember the picture of him in her house; how much taller than her he is.
‘Sounds intriguing, not boring.’
Anna sighs. ‘It’s a story for another day.’
We walk in silence for a while. It hurts that she doesn’t want to tell me after everything I’ve just told her. It’s like three steps forward, one step back but I don’t want to push too hard.
‘So have you made any other friends?’ she says.
‘Well, funny you should mention that,’ I say, ‘but I’ve been invited to join a book club.’
‘Wow, I used to be in a book club in Bristol.’ She laughs to herself. ‘Fun times. Who’s running that?’
Even as she’s speaking, my mind’s running at high speed. Sarah said I could bring a friend, and Anna’s within walking distance.
‘Would you be interested?’ I ask. ‘I mean, I’d have to check, but it’s run by a woman in my street. It’d be awesome to have you there – if you’re a reader, I mean. Don’t join if you don’t like reading. What do you think?’
‘Really?’ We’re walking quite fast and Anna’s face, as she turns to me, is flushed. ‘I’d love that. Thank you!’
And, for the first time since I arrived in London, I feel I’m doing something useful – making friend connections – and it fills me with happiness, which is probably why, when footsteps run up behind us and I turn to see that it’s Simon, I give him a huge smile.
‘Hello, Taylor,’ he says, falling into step with us. ‘I thought that was you. Very distinctive walk you’ve got. And you’re Anna, aren’t you?’
Anna nods and gives him what I realize is clearly a fake smile and he smiles back then looks away.
‘How’s your dad?’ I ask.
He smiles again and I notice a couple of hairs sticking out of his nose. They quiver with every breath. He pushes his glasses back up his nose. ‘He had a much better week, thank you for asking.’
‘Good. And what about you? How was your week?’
He gives me another smile and shrugs. ‘Comme ci, comme ça. It is what it is.’
‘How long have you been caring for him?’ I ask.
‘It’s been a year since I moved in to Father’s place. I had to. It was too difficult otherwise. I couldn’t be everywhere at once.’
‘There’s no one else who can help?’ I realize what a daft question that is as it comes out of my mouth. Anna, who’s remained silent throughout this exchange, gives me a sideways look.
‘I don’t have any siblings,’ says Simon. ‘It’s okay. I don’t mind. It can just be a bit intense sometimes, which is why I enjoy coming to this group