Letters of Not Lite. Dale Shaw

       A letter from a wise man

       10th January 1AD

      Dear Balthazar,

      Hope you got back OK. My journey home was a total nightmare. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say I’ve had enough of camels for a while.

      Wow, that was some crazy trip wasn’t it? Sort of started out as one thing, then ended up as another thing altogether. The three of us really went through something, right? Weird times.

      I don’t know about you, but since I’ve got back and had a chance to think about stuff, I’ve got to say I’m still not altogether sure what went down. Obviously it was a total blast to be out with you guys on this madcap adventure, but on reflection, I’ve started to have a few reservations. Especially about that whole stable/baby scene.

      I mean, we didn’t really check these people out before we started bestowing gifts on them did we? Feels as if we all got a bit over-excited with the whole ‘King of the Jews’ angle and lost our heads a little. Just having a bit of distance from it and thinking about it rationally, it seems to me, looking back in the cold light of day, to an impartial observer it could seem as if we just handed over a large selection of luxury items to a bunch of vagrants in a barn.

      Now, I know we thought they seemed really holy. But maybe they were just really happy? After all, one second they’re bunking down with some farm animals in filth, then we pitch up and start handing out goodies. Perhaps I’m being paranoid, but is it too crazy to think we’ve been taken for a ride somehow? I mean, that star and the trumpets and all that glowing? It doesn’t really add up. We were out in the sun for a really long time, I think we may not have been in the best state of mind to be making those types of judgement calls.

      You know, I’ve known you for years, so obviously you are above reproach in my book. But how much do you know about that Melchior guy? I mean Melchior – is that even a name? Of course he’s a wise man – we’re all wise men and it takes one to know one. But being a wise man doesn’t preclude you from also being a con man. Do you think he could have been in on it with them? He was in a bit of a hurry to get away afterwards and I’m just going to assume it was Frankincense in that bottle. Could have been anything. Can you vouch for that guy?

      I know we all wanted it to be real. Who doesn’t want to discover a godhead at that early stage? That’s a real career booster. But I realise now that I’ve ended up with nothing to show for it except an empty shelf where my Myrrh used to be. Which wasn’t the easiest situation to explain to the wife. Now it’s not just those folks who are sleeping in a barn.

      Anyway, I guess what’s done is done. But I think maybe we should try to keep this whole thing under wraps as far as possible, if we can. If that story gets out there, I’m not sure people are going to think that we’re all that wise after all. But then, what are chances of that happening, right?

      Happy Hanukkah,

      Gaspar