The Bad Mother: The addictive, gripping thriller that will make you question everything. Amanda Brooke
locked away until it was needed, and she could retrieve it in an instant. She had known precisely where the cot was and she had been proven right. ‘They’re memory lapses, I suppose. I get confused for no reason at all,’ she offered.
Adam cleared his throat. ‘We were late this morning because she couldn’t find her car keys and her car was parked in front of mine so I was blocked in. I found the spare set, but you know what she’s like …’
‘I always leave them on the shelf in the kitchen, or sometimes in my coat pocket, but they weren’t in any of the obvious places,’ Lucy explained. She scrunched up her freckled nose when she added, ‘They were in the fridge beneath a bag of lettuce. I must have kept hold of them when I unloaded the shopping yesterday.’
A bemused smile had formed on Christine’s lips. ‘Welcome to my world,’ she said. ‘I almost put a loaf in the washing machine the other week.’
In no mood to be appeased, Lucy felt the first stirrings of annoyance, not liking that her mum should take the matter so lightly. ‘And do you find things in the wrong place when you have no recollection of moving them?’
Christine took a step nearer until she was close enough to lift Lucy’s chin. ‘No, but I live on my own.’
‘And I work from home, alone. I’m talking about when Adam’s at work.’
‘Have you mentioned it to the midwife?’ Christine asked, looking to Adam.
‘I wanted to raise it at our hospital appointment last week,’ he said, shifting from one foot to the other. ‘But I was overruled.’
Confusion clouded Lucy’s expression and she was grateful that no one was looking at her. She would like to think that she had laid down the law, but Adam was mistaken if he imagined she had been the one to decide against voicing her concerns. It was true that she had been reluctant, but it was Adam who had convinced her that her blunders would be laughed off. So far, he alone knew how unsettling the episodes had become.
‘You still should have mentioned it, Adam,’ Christine said, her smile persisting.
‘I’m glad I didn’t now,’ Lucy grumbled. ‘It was my twenty-week scan and we got to see all her little fingers and toes and I didn’t want to spoil the moment. This memory thing is separate anyway.’
‘Oh, honey, I’m sorry – it’s anything but. They even have a name for it,’ Christine said as she cupped her daughter’s face in the palm of her hand as if she were still her little girl. Her thumb brushed against Lucy’s cheek to encourage a smile that wouldn’t come. ‘It was called baby brain in my day. Though I can’t say I mislaid things, I definitely became a tad scattier. It’s your hormones, that’s all, and I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse. Just wait until you add childbirth and sleepless nights to the mix.’
Lucy’s lip trembled. ‘Baby brain? Really?’
‘Why didn’t you mention it before?’
‘I was scared it was something else,’ Lucy said, holding her mum’s gaze long enough for her to realize at last how frightened she had been. Tears brimmed in her mum’s eyes as she too caught a glimpse of the lingering shadows of the past that had been haunting her daughter.
With a sniff, Christine kissed her daughter’s forehead. ‘You’ve had such a lot of change in the last year or so, it’s no wonder your mind’s playing catch-up. You shouldn’t keep your worries to yourself.’
‘I don’t,’ said Lucy as she pulled away from her mum to look at Adam, who had been waiting patiently to be noticed. Her husband had a habit of tapping his fingers in turn against his thumb whenever he felt out of his comfort zone, and he was doing it now. It was a reminder that beneath that blunt exterior was a man who had his own moments of vulnerability.
Christine wrinkled her nose. ‘I know you have each other but, no offence to Adam, he’s a man.’
‘None taken,’ Adam said. The finger tapping continued.
With her gaze fixed on her daughter, Christine said, ‘I was telling Hannah’s mum the other day how you two girls should make more time for each other now that you’re pregnant. She’s been through it enough times and it would be a shame to let your friendship drift.’
‘I saw her not that long ago,’ Lucy said as she attempted to gauge exactly how long it had been. It was after she had moved in with Adam but before they had scurried off to Greece to get married last summer. ‘It wasn’t long after she had the baby.’
‘He’ll be turning one soon,’ Christine said. ‘I know you both have busy lives, but it would do you good to have someone else to talk to. Don’t you think so, Adam?’
Before Adam could answer, Lucy said, ‘I do love Hannah, but don’t you think she’s a bit chaotic?’ An image of screaming kids and barking dogs came to mind when she added, ‘The boys were all over Adam last time we were there and he ended up spilling coffee all down his shirt.’
‘Lucy was convinced it was deliberate,’ Adam offered.
‘And you weren’t?’ asked Lucy, astonished that Adam should be smiling as if the memory had been a pleasant one. He had tried not to show his annoyance at the time but the atmosphere had turned thick, and Hannah hadn’t helped by making a joke of it, clearly used to such disasters. ‘You couldn’t wait to get out of there, and it was a wonder you didn’t get a speeding ticket on the way home.’
‘I don’t see how I could when it was you driving.’
‘No, it was def—’ she said, stopping herself when she saw the frown forming on Adam’s brow. She could have sworn he had taken the keys from her, but it was so long ago now, maybe she was thinking of a different time. ‘Was it me?’
Adam winced as he looked to Christine. ‘Can you have baby brain before you’re pregnant?’
‘That’s why I think she should talk to Hannah, and New Brighton isn’t that far from you,’ Christine persisted. ‘Apparently she’s another one who thinks you need a visa to get back across the Mersey when you move to the Wirral.’
Lucy didn’t need reminding that she hadn’t seen nearly enough of her family and friends of late, but she had been busy building a new life with Adam. He had to come first and, while she would willingly make the extra effort for her mum, she wasn’t sure if keeping in touch with Hannah was the right thing to do. Feeling slightly wrong-footed, she turned to Adam. ‘I don’t know, what do you think? I could always try to meet up with her without the kids around, and you wouldn’t have to come.’
‘It’s entirely up to you. If you’re sure it will help, of course you should.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ she said after some hesitation, to which Adam wrapped an arm around her and she relaxed into his shoulder. She heard him blow on her unruly locks, but if he had spotted a trailing cobweb he didn’t complain.
‘At the very least, speak to the midwife,’ Christine said. ‘I don’t mind taking the day off and tagging along with you for your next appointment.’
‘You don’t have to do that,’ Lucy said, knowing that her mum had used up most of her leave on the wedding and a couple of other holidays abroad. ‘And I promise, I will mention it.’
‘Make sure you do,’ Christine said. ‘Honestly, Lucy, it’s nothing to worry about, it’s just a temporary blip.’
‘That’ll last the next eighteen years,’ joked Adam. In response to the look his mother-in-law shot him, he added, ‘Am I bad if I like the new Lucy Martin – version 2.1. with all its idiosyncrasies? It keeps me on my toes.’
‘So my daughter’s one of your computer programs now, is she?’ Christine asked. Her voice was soft but firm when she turned to her daughter and added, ‘It won’t be forever, love.’
Lucy was more inclined to agree with Adam’s