The Complete Helen Forrester 4-Book Memoir: Twopence to Cross the Mersey, Liverpool Miss, By the Waters of Liverpool, Lime Street at Two. Helen Forrester
the way to the city and then across it to William Brown Street. I pulled the Chariot up and down three huge flights of steps until I found the right building, and was just struggling to get the pram through a recalcitrant door when a voice boomed, ‘Where are you going with that thing?’
A very large commissionaire stood behind me.
‘I’m going to the museum,’ I replied nervously.
‘Not with that you’re not.’
His remark was clear enough, but there was a hint of puzzlement in the tone of his voice when he made it.
I looked sadly down at Avril. I was afraid to leave the Chariot outside, in case some urchin thought it was abandoned and took it to play with.
I looked up at the commissionaire and was prepared to do battle.
He must have seen the malignant gleam in my eye, because he said sharply, ‘Now you just take that thing back to where you found it, and don’t let me find you loitering round here again.’
Loitering was something one could be arrested for, I knew, so I swallowed the bitter words that came to mind, and silently turned and bounced the Chariot back down the steps so fast that I cannonaded into an elderly, distinguished-looking gentleman coming up.
‘Oh, I beg your pardon, sir,’ I said, horrified at having struck such a gentle, scholarly type of person. ‘I hope I haven’t hurt you badly.’
‘Not at all. My briefcase took the blow,’ he replied kindly, as he stared in surprise at Avril and me. His lips parted, as if to ask me something, but I had been so humiliated by the commissionaire that I felt I was going to cry, and I hastened onward across the street to St George’s Hall. Once there, I looked back.
The gentleman was standing at the door of the museum still staring curiously at me.
I giggled suddenly through my tears. An Oxford accent coming from a bundle of rags and bones like me must have really puzzled him. It had not, however, impressed the commissionaire and gained me entry to the museum.
So much for public cultural emporia.
Summertime had always meant to me a period of waving green wheat slowly turning yellow, a time for walks along a meadow-bordered river where buttercups waited to be threaded into chains, a time to lie under a plum-tree and read to my heart’s content, a time to play at theatres and dressing-up with my friend, Joan, while the walnuts ripened overhead.
Liverpool summers are not like that. In the nineteen-thirties not much was understood about pollution; and on days when it did not rain the acrid smoke was enough to obscure the sun until a harsh, Atlantic wind temporarily lifted the veil. On hot days the alleyways and garbage cans stank, despite the ministrations of an army of dustmen who not only laboriously cleared the garbage but also washed down the alleys themselves. There were still a lot of horses in Liverpool and where there are horses there are always myriads of flies to carry dysentery. Our milkman kept his cows in a shippen at the back of his dairy, but fortunately in summer for part of the time they grazed outside the city, and took their quota of flies with them.
Hens and pigeons were common in back yards. Men kept fighting-cocks, though this was illegal, and many were the bloody battles in the long summer evenings on which men wagered a large portion of their public assistance money.
Much of this the younger children were able to accept as a way of life as they slowly forgot their earlier life, though Tony once said to me earnestly as I bathed a grazed knee he had acquired while playing rounders in the street, ‘I don’t like the kind of life we live, Helen, and when I grow big I shall change it’
‘I hope you will,’ I replied equally gravely. ‘You’ve got brains and you could get a scholarship to a better school – and that would get you out of it’
‘Why don’t you go to school, Helen?’
The tears, never far from my myopic eyes, sprang up. I bent my head so that he could not see them. ‘Mother needs me at home, dear.’
‘How will you get out of it then?’
‘I really don’t know.’ I made myself sound cheerful, as I carefully dried the small wound because wounds seemed to go septic so fast ‘When Daddy gets a job, things will change a lot.’
He stood up and stretched his thin little body. ‘Perhaps you will marry a prince,’ he suggested hopefully.
‘Perhaps,’ I agreed, though I knew that girls as ugly as I who also wore spectacles did not stand a chance of matrimony; my mother had always indicated that such was the case and I think I had already been written off as a future maiden aunt. This did not stop me, however, from dreaming for the rest of the afternoon that I married the beautiful, humane and exciting Edward, Prince of Wales.
Tony and Brian also had a dream world of their own. They rarely quarrelled and, with Fiona, they played highly imaginative games in which they sailed the world – Brian always fell overboard and was rescued by Tony – or drove trains and cars which had innumerable comic accidents.
Playing in the open, even if the air was polluted, made them more hungry and it was impossible to satisfy them. If we were to cook anything, we still had to buy coal, so that summer expenses were much the same as winter ones.
We approached our second winter in Liverpool with undisguised dread. We had commenced the first bitter January there with one set of good winter clothing apiece and two blankets. Now, not one of us had a whole garment or a pair of shoes without holes in them. Indeed, four of us were reduced to ragged running-shoes or nothing at all on our feet.
My father was a pitiful sight even in comparison with the ragged crew who lined up with him for public assistance. His elbows stuck through the sleeves of what had once been a tweed jacket and his knees were equally naked. He had no socks and there was very little left of his shirt. He used to thread the remains of his old school tie through the torn collar and knot it, in the mistaken belief that nobody would notice the bare chest underneath it. His underwear had, like that of the rest of the family, worn out, its life shortened by inadequate laundering. His chest was red from being chapped by the wind; but he suffered most from pain in his hands.
Both hands had been badly frost-bitten during his military service in Russia, and, on the hospital ship which brought him home, the surgeons had debated whether or not they should be amputated. The wonderful care he received, however, saved him from this; but intensely cold weather turned them white, and I used to sit and massage them to revive the circulation. It was then that they became most painful.
One freezing November day, urged on by two shipping clerks shivering with him in one of the endless queues in which he spent most of his life, he applied to the relieving officer of the public assistance committee for help to buy a pair of shoes and a pair of gloves.
Clothing, he was told tardy, was given in kind and stamped with the initials of the public assistance committee, so that it could not be sold or pawned.
‘I don’t mind what it is stamped with,’ replied Father humbly, ‘as long as it lessens the pain in my hands.’
His case file was sent for and examined.
‘You are not eligible for help with clothing,’ was the verdict. ‘You do not come under the jurisdiction of Liverpool.’
The same old problem. We were not from Liverpool. Our rate of public assistance was that given in the small town from which we came, and the sum was collected from that town by Liverpool. We got none of the little extras such as money for winter coal or for Christmas which Liverpool struggled to give its less fortunate citizens, nor were we eligible for clothing.
‘What shall I do?’ my father cried, in despair.
‘Try one of the voluntary agencies.’
So Father got the