The Sandman Slim Series Books 1-4. Richard Kadrey
have cleaned them the moment I dug them out from under the floorboards at Vidocq’s. Wild Bill would be ashamed of me.
I’d picked up the cleaning kit at an upscale gun club in West Hollywood on the way back to Max Overdrive. Also a can of WD-40 to clean the na’at. On the night table next to the bed is the bottom half of a Coke can I ripped in half. There’s an inch of Spiritus Dei floating in the can and I dip each bullet into it before reloading the guns.
That encounter with the Kissi back at Donut Universe woke me up. I need to be more careful now that I don’t have any real backup.
I can’t get the bloody image of the green-haired girl out of my mind. Every time I think I’ve pushed her away, Alice drifts in to take her place.
No wonder I’m so popular.
There’s a knock at the door. I stay sitting on the bed, but hide the reassembled .45 under one leg, where I can get it quickly. I don’t say, “Come in,” but she comes in anyway.
Allegra only takes a couple of steps into the room, like she’s afraid there are snakes under all the furniture. She sits on Kasabian’s old bootlegging table, knocking over a couple of stacks of DVDs that I’d stolen from the racks downstairs. I soak another cotton patch in solvent and go back to cleaning the guns.
“Why didn’t you tell me before about what happened to you? What Mason did?”
“Vidocq told you my little secret? Is he in some contest I don’t know about? Rat out your friends three times in a day and win Springsteen tickets.”
“He just wanted me to understand why you’re the way you are.”
“And now everyone knows. Did you come up here to gloat? I give up. You win. You and Vidocq showed me up for the chump I truly am.”
“That’s not what this is about and you know it.”
“Princess, I only know two things. One is that I’m going to kill Mason and Parker, and nothing human or inhuman is going to stop me. And two, I’m on my own.”
“Don’t play that martyr shit with me. I’ve seen how you are.”
“You don’t get it. You think I’m saying this because I’m still mad. I’m not. I just understand things better now. A friend laid it out for me. I’m not one of you. The only thing I live for now is to kill as many people and break as many things as I need to, to get what I want. By the standards of most sane people, that makes me a monster. I’m fine with that. And, if I’m alive when this is over, I’m going back to where the monsters live.”
“Hell?”
“It’s where I belong. It’s where I want to be.”
Allegra reaches down, picks up one of the piles of DVDs, and begins to straighten them.
“Eugène loves you,” she says.
“That’s nice. My father loved me. He tried to shoot me once.”
“What?”
“We were out deer hunting. It was just after sunup and cold enough that I could see my breath. I’d spotted a six-point buck ahead in the tree line. I led the way, up front a few yards, with my father right behind me. I spotted the buck in a clearing, signaled my father to stop. I raised my rifle and took the shot. Just as I pulled the trigger, I heard another gun go off and something hit me on the side of the head. My father’s shot had missed me by maybe an inch and hit the tree where I was leaning. I looked back at him, blood coming down my face where flying bark and splinters had hit me. He came running up apologizing, saying it was all an accident, asking if I was okay. But behind all the panic in his eyes, there was nothing but fear and loathing. He hated himself for taking the shot, but he hated me more for still breathing.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Just because someone says they love you doesn’t mean they’re not going to fuck you over the first chance they get.”
“What about Alice? Did she fuck you over, too?”
“No. She’s the one who didn’t.”
Allegra empties a couple of overflowing ashtrays into a metal trash can on the floor.
“Doesn’t that mean anything?”
“No. I told her I loved her about a million times. It didn’t save her. It’s what got her killed.”
“But you both loved each other. You still have that.”
“You loved your drug-dealer boyfriend. I bet he told you he loved you every day. How’d that work out for you?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“You’re right, it’s not. So, why don’t you run along back to Vidocq and let me finish my work so I can get all of you and this town behind me?”
She shakes her head, pushes more junk from the table into the trash, and starts for the door.
“After I’m gone,” I tell her, “as far as I’m concerned, you can have Max Overdrive. Parker’s killed Kasabian by now, so he’s not going to want it back. I’m sure Vidocq can come up with some kind of glamour that’ll make it look like you owned the place all along.”
She drops the trash can by the door. Lets it fall over and spill food wrappers, empty cans, and cigarette butts on the floor.
“You know what? You’re not a monster. You’re just a motherfucker. Eugène should have let Aelita put you out of your misery.”
“Good-bye, Allegra. Go tidy up at Eugène’s.”
She kicks the can out of the way and slams the door. I can hear her stomp down every single step, like she’s punishing the staircase, like God’s tiniest tyrannosaurus.
WHEN ALLEGRA IS gone, I finish cleaning and reassembling the guns. When that’s done, I take old newspapers and paper bags from under the bootlegging table and lay them out flat on the floor.
When you stretch out a regulation na’at to its full length, it’s ten feet of very sharp Hellion steel teeth, spikes, and spines. Some are spring-loaded and ready to go whenever you pick up the na’at. Others only open up when you trigger them from the grip.
Traditionally, you use a na’at like a spear or a staff, but there’s another trigger that collapses the central shaft. Suddenly the na’at is as loose as chicken chow mein, a metal whip that can strip the skin off a rhino like peeling a grape. Not that I’ve ever peeled a rhino or a grape, but you get the idea.
I only mention this to explain that your basic na’at has a lot more intricate mechanical parts than anything any human has ever manufactured. When you decide to WD-40 your na’at, you need a lot of room and a lot of newspapers to soak up the excess oil. You should also open a window before you start spraying lube and solvents around your bedroom, something I almost always forget to do.
I drag the newspaper and the na’at across the room and out of the way. I stash the guns under the mattress and wash the WD-40 off my hands in the bathroom. I’ve trashed enough clothes that I’m back down to video-store T-shirts and jeans. I throw on the silk overcoat I’ve been avoiding and slip the knife inside. On the way out, I push open the three big windows on the wall opposite the bed.
The short walk to the Bamboo House of Dolls clears the stink out of my nose and head. A drink and a cigarette later and I’m happy to be back on Earth. When Carlos brings me my food, I drink to his health. I haven’t done much for him lately, except maybe cooking and decapitating some skinheads, but I can’t exactly talk to him about that. He brings up sports and I try to say something that doesn’t sound stupid, but I didn’t know much about sports before I went Downtown. Finally, he gives up and walks off to serve other customers.
I haven’t talked to him much lately. I haven’t wanted to talk much at all. It seems like a good idea to let the guy know that I appreciate him,