The Broken Man. Josephine Cox
‘Ah, well, there you go, then. He sounds like a man after my own heart. So, how long did he live like that?’
‘A long time … years! Then one day he just disappeared, and was never seen again.’
‘Hmmph!’ Stooping to collect a fallen branch, Phil threw it into the verge. ‘So nobody knows what happened to him, eh?’
‘No. The story tells how one day he was seen collecting mushrooms; then he was never seen again. Some of the villagers were worried he might be ill, so they went to check the shed where he lived, but though the old man was gone, all his belongings were still there.’
‘Sounds too spooky for me.’ Phil was intrigued. ‘But what do you think happened to him?’
‘Well … I think maybe he got really sick and he knew he wouldn’t get better, so he crept away where no one would ever find him. Just like the Indians of old used to do.’
Phil thought about that. ‘Well, if that’s the case, he’s a very lucky man. Not many people get to choose how they live their lives, and then decide where to end them.’
There followed a short silence as they each dwelled on the fate of the mystery man.
‘Phil?’ The boy softly broke the silence.
‘Yes, son?’
‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to choose what I want to do with my life.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because my father has my future all planned out.’
‘Has he now?’ Phil prompted him. ‘And you think that’s a bad thing, do you?’
‘He says I’m his only son and that he’s decided there will be no more children,’ Adam explained. ‘So it’s my duty to follow in his footsteps.’
‘No more children, eh?’
‘That’s what he said.’
‘And are you sure you don’t want to follow in his footsteps?’
‘Yes, I’m sure, but when I try and tell him, he gets really angry.’
He was careful not to reveal how his father often took a belt to him; that one time he split the skin on his back and forbade his mother to take him to hospital.
‘Have you spoken to your mother about not wanting to follow in your dad’s footsteps?’
‘Yes, but Mum said it’s best if I do what Father says.’ He paused before confiding in a quieter voice, ‘Sometimes if I disobey him, he takes it out on her. That’s cowardly, isn’t it, Phil?’
‘I’m sorry, son, but without knowing all the circumstances, it would not be right for me to comment on that,’ Phil apologised, although his mental picture of the boy’s father was now deeply unsettling.
Thinking it might be wise to change the subject, he asked, ‘So if you’re not allowed to climb trees, what do you do when you’re out with your mates?’
‘I don’t have any mates.’
‘Oh? And why’s that then?’
‘Father says I must not waste my time. He says that if I’ve got any spare time after school, I must use it for doing extra studies, because I’ll never make anything of myself if I don’t study.’
He cast his gaze to the floor. ‘Can I tell you something, Phil?’
‘Course you can, son.’
‘I don’t like him very much. He makes me study all the time, and I’m never allowed to do anything else. I would like to have close mates that I could bring home and play with. But Father keeps me too busy for that.’
‘I’m sure your father thinks it’s all for your own good.’
‘I know, but he asks too much of me, and he has such a terrible temper, and if I get the questions wrong, he makes me do them all over again. Sometimes it’s midnight and he still won’t let me go. Mum argues with him and then … he … he …’ his voice tailed off to a whisper. ‘Sometimes, I really hate him.’
Saddened by what Adam had told him, Phil made him a promise. ‘Always remember, son, if ever you feel the need to talk, I’ll be here for you.’ Not being witness to what happened in that house, Phil believed it was wrong of him to criticise. Instead, he quietly reassured the boy, ‘I expect he has your interests at heart, but you obviously believe he’s going about it the wrong way, so all you can do is to keep explaining how you feel.’
‘I’ve made up my mind, I don’t ever want to be like him!’ A dark look crossed his face.
‘Well, I’m sure that’s your choice, Adam, but your father has made a success of his own life and, from what you tell me, it seems he wants the same for you.’
‘I know that.’ Looking ahead towards the house, the boy grew agitated. ‘But he’s not a good man. Sometimes he’s really nasty. He doesn’t laugh, and when he gets angry he shouts and screams. Mum tells me not to rile him, or he might …’
‘Might what?’ Phil could see the child was getting agitated. ‘Apart from the shouting and wanting you to work harder, is there something else that’s worrying you, son?’
‘NO! No, there’s nothing else.’ Fearing he might have said too much already, Adam finished lamely, ‘Me and Mum, we just do what he tells us, and then everything is fine.’
‘Well, just remember what I said, Adam. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.’ Phil brought the subject to an end: ‘I’ve an idea that you and your father will work it out, eventually.’ Even so, he was genuinely concerned by what the boy had told him.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Adam said after a few moments’ silence.
‘Of course you can!’ Chuckling, Phil lightened the mood. ‘Unless you’re after borrowing a shilling or two, because you know what they say: “Never a borrower nor a lender be”, and that’s the rule I live by.’
When he saw Adam’s face fall, he laughed out loud. ‘Take no notice of me,’ he said, ‘I’m just teasing. So, what is it you want to ask?’
Casting a wary glance along the lane, Adam quietly confided, ‘Could you please not tell anybody what I’ve said, about my father?’ Again, he nervously glanced down the lane towards his house.
‘Don’t worry, son. I’ve never been a gossip, and I can assure you that what’s been said here today will not go any further. All right?’
‘Thank you, Phil. Maybe you’re right. My father doesn’t mean to be like he is. It’s only because he works such long hours and he has such a responsible job, he just gets on edge sometimes.’
‘I understand that, son, but if you don’t mind me saying, what suits one man doesn’t always suit another. A man should be able to choose his own path. But you’re not yet a man, and maybe your father is looking out for your future. D’you understand what I’m saying?’
‘Yes, but I don’t want to be bad-tempered and angry like my father. I want to do something that makes me happy.’ Growing increasingly nervous, Adam dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘Already my father is training me into his kind of work.’
‘How d’you mean?’
‘Well, nearly every night he brings home a pile of paperwork and makes me go through it with him. It’s all calculations of stocks and shares and money transactions. I don’t understand any of it, not really, but sometimes he keeps me at his desk for ages, making me do tests and stuff. He says he’s proud for me to follow in his footsteps. He wants me to learn all about high finance and dealing and stuff. And I hate it!’
Phil understood the boy’s concern. ‘Do you ever get any time