Will You Love Me?: The story of my adopted daughter Lucy. Cathy Glass
in his thirties called Freddie – and using his surname for her and Lucy. She registered Lucy at a nursery so she could start just after her third birthday, and two nursery teachers made a home visit prior to Lucy starting. These home visits are normal practice in England; they are informal, last about half an hour and give the mother and child a chance to meet the nursery teachers and ask any questions. However, these two teachers were very worried by what they found, especially as their visit had been pre-arranged and was therefore expected. The one-bedroom flat was dirty, smelly and cluttered with bits of car engines, empty beer bottles, plastic fizzy-drink bottles, old pizza boxes and empty crisp packets, all of which Lucy was encouraged to play with in the absence of any children’s toys. There were no beds: Lucy slept with her mother and Freddie under blankets on mattresses on the bedroom floor; none of the rooms in the flat had carpets or curtains. There was a used cat-litter tray in the kitchen, which was badly in need of emptying, and the kitchen and bathroom were filthy. The nursery teachers also later noted that the flat reeked of stale beer, cigarette smoke and a slightly sweet smell, which could have been cannabis.
During their conversation, Bonnie admitted that she was struggling to cope and, far from being supportive, Freddie – who wasn’t present – spent most of his unemployment money on betting, so they never had enough to eat or pay the bills. They were behind with the rent and the landlord was threatening to evict them. Bonnie told the nursery teachers that she and Freddie often argued and he sometimes hit her – in front of Lucy. The teachers noted that Lucy was grubby, small for her age and afraid of strangers. They couldn’t say much about her development from their visit as she hid behind the sofa all the time they were there. When one of them tried to coax her out, she screwed her eyes shut and screamed. Bonnie said they should just leave her there as she was scared of strangers because of some bad experiences they’d had, although she didn’t say what these experiences were. Bonnie also said she hoped Lucy would learn to be less frightened of strangers when she went to nursery and ‘met some nice people’.
The nursery teachers were with Bonnie for over an hour and when they returned to the nursery they immediately held a meeting with their head teacher to report their concerns. The head teacher contacted the social services and two days later a social worker telephoned Bonnie and made an appointment to visit her the following day. Although Bonnie knew in advance that the social worker was visiting (as she had with the nursery teachers), she made no attempt to clean the flat, so it was in much the same condition as the teachers had reported. Freddie was there when the social worker arrived but left straight away, pushing past her in the hall without saying hello.
Bonnie admitted to the social worker that she wasn’t coping and said she felt very low and thought she was suffering from depression, although she hadn’t been to a doctor. The social worker explained to Bonnie that there were concerns about Lucy and tried to persuade Bonnie to see a doctor for her depression. They then discussed various options with regard to Lucy’s care. She was relieved that Bonnie was cooperative and quickly agreed that it would be best if Lucy went into care temporarily as an ‘accommodated child’ (under Section 20 of the Children Act). Often referred to as a ‘Section 20’, this is a voluntary arrangement between the social services and the parent(s) of a child who agree to the child living with a foster carer for a short time. The parent(s) retain full legal parental rights, which they wouldn’t do under any other care order. Approximately a third of children in foster care are ‘accommodated’. There is no court order and the arrangement should encourage a better working relationship between the social worker, the parent(s) and the foster carer. The parent(s) feel less threatened as they retain legal control of their child, have regular and unsupervised contact and can remove the child from foster care at any time. It is supposed to be a short-term measure and should never be used when a child is in danger of being abused; only when there is a good chance of the child being rehabilitated back to live with the parent(s) within a reasonable period.
Having gained Bonnie’s consent, the social worker returned to her office and set about finding a suitable foster carer for Lucy. Annie was identified: she was married, with two young girls of her own, and had been fostering for eighteen months. Under a Section 20 the parents know where the foster carer lives and can go with the social worker to the carer’s home when the child is placed, and so it was with Bonnie.
It was a hot day in late August when Bonnie and Lucy arrived in the social worker’s car. Bonnie carried Lucy into Annie’s hallway. Lucy had her head buried in her mother’s shoulder and was wearing a little pink cotton dress and plastic jelly sandals and was sucking on a grubby rag as a comforter. Bonnie, slightly built, with her hair in a ponytail, was dressed in jeans, T-shirt and badly worn plimsolls. She looked tired and very anxious. Looped over her arm was a supermarket carrier bag containing Lucy’s clothes.
Straight away Annie set about making Bonnie and Lucy feel welcome. She showed them into her living room, made them cold drinks and introduced them to her children, who were off school for the summer holiday. They talked for a while, with her and the social worker doing most of the talking, and then she showed them around the house. Bonnie marvelled at how nice Annie’s house was, and Annie felt sorry for her – she formed the impression that Bonnie hadn’t been in many decent homes, as hers was average and no different from many others. All this time Lucy wouldn’t be put down and when they returned to the living room she again sat on her mother’s lap with her face buried in her chest. Annie asked Bonnie about Lucy’s likes and dislikes and her routine, explaining that the more information she had about Lucy the easier it would be to settle her. Bonnie said that Lucy ate ‘anything really’ and went to bed and got up when she felt like it. Annie then asked if Lucy had a favourite toy – one she liked to take to bed – and Bonnie said, ‘Just that,’ referring to the frayed and dirty rag Lucy was sucking on.
Bonnie and the social worker stayed for an hour and during that time Lucy didn’t say a word or leave her mother’s lap. Despite a lot of encouragement from Annie and her two girls, Lucy sat facing her mother, refusing to look at anyone. Even when Annie’s two girls suggested they could all play in the garden and maybe Lucy would like an ice cream, she didn’t look at them. Bonnie told Annie, as she had the social worker and nursery teachers, that following ‘some bad experiences’ Lucy was afraid of strangers, although she didn’t elaborate.
Eventually the social worker said they should leave so that Annie could settle Lucy. Annie said she’d phone Bonnie to reassure her that Lucy was all right. Bonnie gave Lucy a quick kiss on the top of her head and said: ‘Mummy has to go.’ Standing, she placed Lucy on Annie’s lap and ran down the hall and out of the front door. Lucy immediately began screaming. Rigid with fear, she gripped Annie’s blouse and buried her head in Annie’s chest.
Concerned for Bonnie’s safety and having promised to take her home in her car, the social worker said a quick goodbye and went after Bonnie. She later noted that Lucy’s screaming was so loud it could be heard outside. There was no sign of Bonnie in the street, so she got into her car and returned to the office, intending to phone Bonnie later.
Inside the house, Annie was sitting on the sofa with her arms around Lucy, rocking her gently and quietly, talking to her, trying to reassure her as well as her own children, who were very worried at seeing a child so upset. It took half an hour to calm Lucy sufficiently so that Annie could persuade her to relax her grip a little and raise her head so Annie could wipe away her tears. As she did, Annie saw Lucy’s face properly for the first time. With her petite features, porcelain skin, black silky hair and large dark eyes she was like a little doll; a truly beautiful child, but one who was clearly very scared. Annie also noticed what looked like a bruise on Lucy’s cheek, just below her left eye, which she would mention in her log notes when she wrote them up later. All foster carers have to keep log notes. This is a daily record of the child or children they are looking after and includes appointments the child has, the child’s health and wellbeing, significant events and any disclosures the child may make about their past. When the child leaves the foster carer, this record is placed on file at the social services and can be looked at by the child when they are an adult.
Lucy didn’t speak at all that evening, refused all food and drink and cried so much at bedtime that Annie had to sleep on the floor in Lucy’s room, holding her hand and continuously reassuring her. The following two days were little better; Lucy didn’t