Heart Surgeon, Hero...Husband?. Susan Carlisle
Hannah in his arms brought back memories of that night. Even then he couldn’t help but touch her, hold her. Now she needed to be held, desperately, and he was afraid that he needed the contact just as much. Everything about Hannah pushed his common sense away.
Heavens. She was being held by Scott. “Better?” he asked.
In a quick movement Hannah straightened and shifted back into her chair. She should’ve never let him touch her. Mercy, it had felt wonderful. She was so tired of being alone, carrying the load for Jake’s care. At least with Scott she had a partner until the transplant was done.
Under Scott’s scrutiny, she refused to meet his gaze. “I’ve never fallen apart like that before,” she muttered.
“Are you positive you’re okay?” He sounded as unsure as she felt.
“I’m better now,” she said, though her words lacked confidence. “You can go.”
“Have you eaten today?”
Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? She closed her eyes, then lifted them, looking through her lashes. “If I answer you, will you leave?” She didn’t want to have a reason to start caring for him again.
Scott said nothing but gave her a hard look.
“Okay, I had a bowl of cereal this morning. I was going to eat during shift change …” she sighed “ … but I just wasn’t hungry. Satisfied?” Where was the ever ever-present sound of his pager going off when she needed it?
He shook his head. “You’re one of the most intelligent women I know so I expected better from you. What did I tell you about taking care of yourself?”
“I heard you.”
“But you don’t plan to follow orders.” Cynicism wrapped his words.
She straightened her shoulders. “I don’t have to follow your orders. You’re Jake’s doctor, not mine.” At his chuckle, she realized he’d baited her on purpose to make her show some kind of animation.
“That might be, but if you’d followed my orders …” He cocked his head to the side in question.
“It must feel good to be a know-it-all.”
“It does have its advantages. Let’s go get a bite to eat.”
“Us?”
“Yeah, us. I eat too. I certainly can’t trust you to see to feeding yourself. Anyway, I like to share a meal with someone when I can. I eat too many dinners alone.”
“That’s hard to believe. You can’t find a nurse to eat with?” She’d never known him to have trouble getting dinner dates. Had he really changed that much?
“I did. You.”
She huffed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, but I’m pretending I don’t. Come on. Keep me company.”
“I don’t really want to go, but you’re not going to give up until I agree, are you?”
He grinned and shook his head.
She’d consider it payment for him giving her a shoulder to cry on. And she was just too tired, too scared and too emotionally drained to fight him off. Besides, having one meal with Scott wouldn’t change anything between them.
After a long moment she nodded her agreement. “But I’m going to check on Jake first.”
“I never thought any different.” He took her elbow and helped her stand. The pad of his thumb skimmed across the bare skin of her forearm. She shivered and stepped away.
Tugging at the hem of her pink T-shirt, she said, “I’m fine now.”
He remained close as they moved toward the door. Her head seemed to be on straight again, but having Scott so near was making her nerves fire in double time.
What was happening? She’d given up acting like a schoolgirl long ago. Given up on him. She hadn’t needed anyone in a long time, but she’d fallen apart in Scott’s arms. Hannah shook her head to remove lingering feelings of being cherished while in Scott’s embrace. Years ago he’d acted as if he cared, and she’d been crushed. She wouldn’t let it happen again.
Jake was sitting up in the bed, playing with the toy that Scott had given him, when they walked into his cubicle.
“Mommy.” He reached his hand over the rail of his bed.
She took his little hand in hers and placed a quick kiss on the top of it. “Hi, sweetie.”
“Hello, Jake,” Scott said, as he move around to the other side of the bed from Hannah. “While you’re talking to your mom, I’m going to give you a little check. It won’t hurt, I promise.”
Scott slipped two fingers around Jake’s wrist, feeling for his pulse before he stepped to the end of the bed. Pulling the blanket back, Scott placed the tips of two fingers on the top of Jake’s foot to check his dorsalis pedis pulse.
At Scott’s finger skimmed Jake’s skin, her little boy jerked his foot away.
Scott looked up at Jake and smiled. “Do you like to be tickled?”
Jake nodded.
Cupping Jake’s heel, Scott ran a finger down the bottom of Jake’s foot. Her son laughed. Scott’s low rumble of mirth joined Jake’s.
Hannah couldn’t help but smile. Her heart lightened. For the first time all day she believed Jake might get well.
Her laugh drew both males’ attention as if they’d forgotten she was even there.
The overhead lights dimmed.
“It’s time for your mom and me to let you sleep,” Scott said to Jake as he pulled the blanket back over the tiny foot.
Hannah squeezed Jake’s hand and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you, honey.”
Scott nodded to a nurse standing behind her, who she’d not noticed until then. The nurse inserted a needle into Jake’s IV port and emptied the syringe’s contents.
“That should help him sleep,” Scott said as he came to stand beside Hannah. “He’ll have a comfortable night, so don’t worry.”
“Yeah, that’s easier said than done.” Hannah watched Jake’s eyelids droop. When she felt his hand go limp, she placed it on the bed. Pulling the blue hospital blanket up, she tucked Jake in.
The urge to scoop Jake up and take him home to his own bed had never been stronger.
“Come, Hannah,” Scott said in a sympathetic voice. “It’s time to see about yourself. You need to eat.”
As they waited for the elevator to go down to the cafeteria, Scott kept glancing at her. He’d been wonderful with Jake, but he was making her nervous now. Did Scott think she was going to fall into his bed again just because he’d made her son giggle?
She curled her hands together and intertwined her fingers again.
As close as they’d been at one time, they were little more than strangers now. She’d changed, was a mother now, and had been a wife. Maybe Scott had changed too. Relief flowed through her as the elevator doors slid open. Hannah stepped in and stood in a corner. She was glad that Scott chose to stand on the opposite side.
The jerk of the elevator as they dropped to the bottom floor made her grab the rail on the wall.
Scott moved nearer. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
His gaze met hers then moved to her lips and lingered.
Her mouth went hot-summer dry. Her head spun. Had someone turned off the air-conditioning?
The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Scott’s