Angels In The Snow. Sarah Morgan
he growled, planting his arms either side of her so that she was trapped. ‘Are you trying to pretend you don’t feel anything?’
‘No, I’m not. But I don’t want to feel anything, can’t you understand that?’ Her legs were shaking and her insides were as hot and fluid as molten lava. ‘You hurt me, Daniel.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. ‘You think I don’t know exactly what I did two years ago? Believe me, I know.’
‘So why did you kiss me again?’ She tried to ignore his tantalising male scent and those blue eyes, programmed to drive a woman wild. ‘You want to put me through it all a second time?’
‘No.’ His gaze dropped to her mouth and lingered there. ‘I kissed you because I can’t be that close to you and not want to kiss you. That’s how it’s always been. Most of the time I manage to control it but last night—last night, I didn’t. I was angry that you were meeting a stranger. Angry that you wore the red dress.’ The expression in his eyes was personal—intimate—and Stella felt the breath jam in her throat.
‘What I wear isn’t any of your business.’ His face was close to hers, just a breath away from touching.
‘Why did you come back, Stella?’
She gave a low moan and closed her eyes, struggling against instincts that were stronger than her. ‘I’ve told you why. Because this is my home.’ Her heart was thumping dangerously hard and her body yearned to melt into his. ‘Are you suggesting this is all my fault?’ Oh, God, of course it was her fault. She’d overestimated the strength of her willpower, hadn’t she?
‘You knew I was here, but you chose to come back. You knew what would happen when we were alone together. Look at me.’ His fingers tightened on her chin, demanding—possessive. ‘Admit it, Stella. This was always going to be difficult.’
She looked at him and immediately wished she hadn’t because eye contact simply intensified the chemistry. ‘Why would it be difficult?! You didn’t want me—’
‘That isn’t true. You know that isn’t true.’ His mouth was dangerously close to hers. ‘I won’t make a good husband or a good father, but that deficiency in my make-up has no effect on my skills as a lover.’
A delicious shiver ran through her body. ‘Dan, please—’
‘I’ve always wanted you,’ he breathed huskily. ‘I’ve wanted you from the very first day I saw you.’
‘Stop it!’ Stella twisted her head away, trying to free herself from temptation. ‘You’re the one making this difficult.’
‘No. It’s difficult because our relationship didn’t really end. I told you that I didn’t want marriage and children, but I never once told you that I didn’t want you.’
Stella pushed at his chest and struggled to find willpower. ‘You wanted sex with no commitment.’
‘I made a commitment,’ he said roughly. ‘I was with you. There was no one else for me.’
Thinking about their relationship was bitter-sweet. She’d been so excited about the future, in love for the first time in her life …
‘It wasn’t enough, Daniel. I want more than that. I’m old-fashioned. I want a man to love me enough to marry me.’ Her voice broke because it seemed impossible to imagine ever loving a man as much as she loved Daniel. ‘Why are we going over this again? Leave me alone, Daniel. I’m trying to build a new life.’
‘Is that why you’re meeting strange men in pubs? Is that the “new life” you want?’ The sudden hardness of his tone slashed like the blade of a knife and her chin lifted.
‘That’s none of your business.’
‘I’m just worried about you, that’s all.’
‘You don’t need to worry. I’m not your problem Daniel.’ Unsettled by her own feelings as much as the look in his eyes, Stella ducked under his arm and walked towards the door, her legs shaking so badly she could hardly walk. ‘Neither am I your responsibility. If I choose to meet a stranger in a pub, that’s my decision.’
‘It’s a lousy decision.’ His blue eyes glittered dangerously as he watched her retreat. ‘Why are you meeting men over the internet?’
‘Why not?’ She held his gaze and for a moment they just looked at each other.
‘It isn’t safe to meet strangers,’ he said roughly. ‘You could get hurt.’
‘You hurt me, Daniel. You hurt me.’ Stella turned away, confused and frustrated. Was he asking her not to meet anyone? Was he suggesting that they resurrect their relationship? Part of her was appalled at the thought, but another tiny part of her was desperately hopeful and she hated the fact that she could still feel that way.
‘I know I hurt you.’ His voice was low and impossibly sexy. ‘I know I can’t be what you want me to be.’ He broke off and muttered something under his breath, his shoulders visibly tense. ‘Just be careful, that’s all I ask. If you want to meet a man, go to the Christmas party. At least it’s a safe environment. You know lots of the people and you’re less likely to get hurt.’
Her fantasies shattered like glass on concrete.
He was encouraging her to meet someone else.
‘You can just as easily get hurt by the people you love as by strangers,’ Stella said pointedly, turning and looking him in the eye. ‘And when I need your help or advice to meet a man, I’ll ask.’ Without giving him time to reply, she stalked out of the room and let the door swing shut behind her, wishing for the first time in her life that she’d never met Daniel Buchannan.
Stretched out in a chair in his office, exhausted after eleven hours with no break, Daniel stared blankly at the computer screen, his mind full of the night before.
He never should have kissed her.
What had possessed him to do such an utterly stupid thing?
As if things hadn’t been hard enough before that.
He still didn’t understand exactly why he’d lost control.
One moment he’d been furiously angry, the next he’d been kissing her. Usually with women he choreographed every move—he was always in control. He made sure of it. He knew when he was going to ask them out, he knew where he was going to take them—control was part of the way he protected himself.
Only with Stella there was no control. And there never had been.
Sliding his hand over his face, he muttered a black oath.
Nothing had changed between them. Except that they were no longer together.
Dwelling on that uncomfortable truth, Daniel glanced up to see his brother standing in the doorway. ‘What are you doing here? Is someone giving birth in my department?’
‘No. I have some news. And I need a favour.’ Patrick frowned at him. ‘You look as though you’re in a filthy mood. What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’ Somehow Daniel couldn’t bring himself to confess his thoughts about Stella. He waited while his brother sprawled in the only armchair in his office. ‘You don’t look so good yourself.’
‘Tired.’ Patrick closed his eyes and Daniel frowned slightly.
‘Is it the job or the kids?’ Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel surveyed his desk, barely visible beneath the piles of files and papers that people wanted him to read. For a brief moment he wondered what would happen if he just tipped the lot into the bin. Would anyone notice? He didn’t have time to deal with any of it all anyway, so it may as well be in the bin. His computer was telling him that he had seventy-two new messages in his inbox