Secrets of the Heart. Candace Camp
in love, fortunately, are great fools. Now…we need to plan. Doubtless he will be coming over this afternoon to speak to you, since Ravenscar has given his permission. We must decide what you shall wear. Perhaps Caroline will lend you her Lucy to put up your hair. You must look just so—beautiful, yet not as if you were anticipating his question.”
“But, Mama!” In her panic, Rachel reverted to her childhood name for this woman who was in general far too cool and reserved for a more affectionate name than Mother. “I cannot accept Lord Westhampton! I…”
Her mother stared at her in astonishment, and Rachel’s words faltered to a halt.
“Are you mad?” Lady Ravenscar’s voice was like the crack of a whip. “What do you mean, you cannot accept—” She drew in her breath sharply. “No! Was your father right? Have you given your affections elsewhere? My God, girl, what have you done!” Fear and fury mingled in her face. “Do not tell me you have let a man have his way with you!”
“No!” Rachel gasped, shocked. “How could you think that? I have never—he would never—”
“Good.” Lady Ravenscar relaxed a little. “Then it is nothing that cannot be put right. Who is this man? I cannot believe that I have not seen this happening.”
“It is Mr. Birkshaw. Anthony Birkshaw. And he has done nothing untoward. He has been all that is proper and correct. He would never have incurred gossip by dangling obviously after me.”
“Birkshaw!” Her mother’s first look of puzzlement changed quickly to one of horror. “Anthony Birkshaw! That penniless pup? He dared to try to engage your affections! Oh, Rachel, how could you have been so foolish? What have you said to him? Have you promised him—But, no—no one would regard a silly girl’s promise as binding when he had not had the courtesy or courage to speak to your father first.”
“He has not asked me to marry him,” Rachel assured her. “I tell you, Anthony—I mean, Mr. Birkshaw—has been all that is proper. We have made no promises, done nothing that anyone could construe as wrong. I swear it. But I—I love him, and I know that he returns my feelings. I thought today, when Father called us into the library, that it was he who had asked for my hand.”
Her mother looked at her with a touch of pity. “My dear girl, you cannot think that Ravenscar would have approved such a match, can you? Mr. Birkshaw could not hope to get his permission. He has no money. No prospects. His father is the third son of Lord Moreston. The family runs to males. A plague would have to hit for him to come into the title. And it is only a barony, anyway. I cannot imagine how the man could think he could aspire to the daughter of an earl.”
“I don’t think he thought much about my father’s title,” Rachel replied with rather more asperity than she was accustomed to using with her mother. “It was me he fell in love with.”
“Then all I can say is that he is a proper ninny and so are you.” Lady Ravenscar shook her head. “Well, you had better put such foolish thoughts out of your head—and with no time wasted, either. You have to accept Westhampton this afternoon—and with no unhappy looks, either, to give him second thoughts.”
Rachel’s heart turned in her chest. “But, Mother, how can I accept him? I don’t love him! I scarcely even know him! I—I love another man!”
“There is no reason for him to know that,” Lady Ravenscar retorted. “And it would be best if you got that thought out of your head instantly, as well. Your father would never let you waste yourself on Anthony Birkshaw. I can scarcely believe that you have been so foolish as to have given your heart to a—a pauper!”
“He is not a pauper!”
“Bah! You know nothing about the matter!” Her mother faced Rachel, her lovely face set in cold, adamant lines. “Do you think any of us married for love? That any of us knew our husbands before we became engaged? I can assure you that I did not, and neither did your sister.”
“But Caroline and Richard love each other.”
“Your sister was wise enough not to give her heart until she had given her hand,” Lady Ravenscar snapped. “I cannot believe that you are acting like this. You were always the most biddable of my children, the one I could count on to be reasonable. Obedient.” She paused and gathered her composure, then started again. “What did you think we were coming here for? For you to have a summer of parties and fun? Your father had to swallow his pride and accept a loan from Cleybourne to enable you to have this Season. You knew the reason for it. You knew what you were expected to do.”
“Yes, but—” Tears glittered in Rachel’s eyes. The dreamworld she had been living in this summer was crashing down around her ears. She could see now how foolish she had been, believing that the man she had fallen in love with would be an acceptable spouse in her parents’ eyes. She had let herself believe that her love and the brilliant match she must make would somehow turn out to be embodied in the same person. “I cannot!” she cried out in a low voice. “I cannot marry Lord Westhampton when I love someone else!”
“You can, and you will.” Lady Ravenscar’s voice was implacable. “I am sorry that you were so silly as to let your feelings be engaged. Obviously I was not careful enough. I did not see this foolish romance developing and nip it in the bud. For that, I apologize. But I will take care to correct that mistake now. I will tell Caroline to inform the butler that you are no longer home if Mr. Birkshaw calls.”
“No!” Pain stabbed through Rachel’s chest like a knife. “Mother, you cannot—”
Lady Ravenscar gave her a long, level look. “If I have to, I will tell Ravenscar, and he will send the young man on his way.”
“No!” The thought of her father railing at Anthony and barring him from their house filled her with even more fear. Her father was terrible in a temper; there was no telling what he might say to Anthony—or do to him. It would not surprise her if he took a cane to the young man.
“You will get over this infatuation,” her mother went on, her cool voice like a knife lacerating Rachel’s heart. “I know it must seem to you that your world is ending, but this feeling will pass, and soon. Young girls’ fancies always do. In a few weeks, after you have gotten involved in planning the wedding and choosing dresses for your trousseau, why, you will look back on this calf love and realize how absurd it was.”
“No,” Rachel said in a choked voice. “I will not.”
“You must try. Because I can assure you that you will not marry Mr. Birkshaw. You can turn down the best offer you could hope to receive if you insist, but you still will not marry Mr. Birkshaw. If you think about it, I am sure you will see why Birkshaw has not offered for you. He knows that he cannot: I imagine he barely has the money to support himself, let alone a wife. It is my best guess that he must marry money himself. Perhaps he was foolish enough to think that you had some.”
“It was not about money!” Rachel cried. “We love each other.”
“Well, it is a love without hope,” her mother said remorselessly. “Your father and I will never allow you to marry him. And if you are so foolish as to turn down Lord Westhampton because of this piece of lunacy, I can guarantee that you will regret it the rest of your life.”
Rachel could no longer hold back her tears. She began to sob, sinking into the nearest chair and covering her face with her hands. Her mother watched her with exasperation for a moment, then pulled a dainty handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to her daughter.
“Cry it out, then,” she said. “And when you are done, lie down with a cool rag over your eyes to keep the swelling down. You cannot meet Lord Westhampton this afternoon with puffy eyes.”
“I cannot marry him,” Rachel repeated through her tears. “It would kill me.”
“No. I assure you that it will not. You are not the first young girl to fancy herself desperately in love, and you certainly will not be the last. It never kills them. Of course, if you choose to turn down the prospect of being